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 leery11
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Registered: 06/24/05
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 Live-ish Goal oriented DXM tripping. 
#5059239 - 12/13/05 06:31 PM (6 years, 5 months ago) |
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I have taken something like 242-300 (<300 though......) mg of DXM and am on a heftyish oral dose of herb.
I listened to some tim leary mp3, supposed to be turn on, tune in, and etc, but it wasn't music, it was him telling a long story about consciousness research, etc..... very nice, very inspiring. The poor fellow said that we would eventually have a psychedelic accepting society in a generation or two.  but it was still inspiring.
My 2 goals for this trip, are to
1. understand my relationship with drugs, dreaming, and consciousness exploration. And how to access altered states of mind without using drugs.
2) understanding my relationship to other people. Leary said something that resonated me... that you cannot go on this journey out of a robotic society on your own.... that you need other people, you need the loving support of other humans. This is something that I do not have. Sure I have shallow unconditional love from family, and truely they do love me tremendously, but it is not a resonant mutual love that can be used to transcend normal human consciousness.... it is not something that can help me break free, but ideally, it is something that would support my desire to break free.
I just told myself in the mirror that it's a complete and total like that you have to work to build human relationships. Humans want to love other humans, all you have to do is be open to the love and everything else will work. There is no trying. I just need to find the right people and open myself up to them. I think I have found one, and I hope indeed that I have. But I still burn for a lover, a woman.....
is this desire necessary? I do not know, and I hope to know by tomorrow.
I strongly desire for a life companion as well, male or female, someone to journey through the abyss with me and to stick by my side no matter what. Ideally I want this person to also be my lover, but the more life companions the better, right?
I just need to be patient and let the pieces fall into play. But in order to do this I must open myself up.
Well..... when I feel the first effects of the DXM I will retire to listen to some instrumental music. I'm obscenely cold for some reason, shivering, and wondering if the 5-htp I took will synergise with the dex in a bad way, causing serotonin syndrome. But I dont' really care, I will just trust in my body, and in my inner divinity which I hope to bring out.... to let things be okay.
Anyway.
I don't know if I'll post while tripping, possibly while coming down. I dont' like the notion of writing down revelations while high, it's better to let them pass and hope they stick with you once you come down.
wish me luck if you feel inclined to do so.
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Om bhur bhuvaha swaha tat savitur varenyam bhargo devasya dhimahi, dhiyo yonah prachodyat.
We meditate upon that supreme light , the source of all creation, may it illumine our intellects and bring us eternal life.
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leery11
Stranger
Registered: 06/24/05
Posts: 5,223
Last seen: 1 year, 3 months
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Re: Live-ish Goal oriented DXM tripping. [Re: leery11]
#5059645 - 12/13/05 07:49 PM (6 years, 5 months ago) |
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well damn i honestly don't feel anything any more.
mild psychedelic visuals, no emotions.
i just feel flat and "normal" and i don't really feel like doing anything, as i can't think of anything that would be of interest to me.
I mean when i downed the gels i felt intense for a while then it just tapered off.... is the 5-htp to blame? Or...... is it becasue these gels take a long time to dissolve and i haven't come up yet, or are they clumped together in my stomache and taking forever to dissolve?
i've heard people say it takes upwards of 3 hours for the gels to work, hmmm.
well all i know is if 5-htp KILLS emotion, that's not cool at all. emotion is the only thing that makes activities interesting. you can be tripping balls, but if you feel absolutely nothing, what does it matter? It's not siginificant to you. hmmmmm..........
well i suppose i'll chill and watch adult swim, but...... i dunno. things are so much funner at my families.... when i'm on my own my environment is just kind of "bleh"
i wish i could do drugs at their place.
edit: it's working fine and i'm coming up again. maybe it was because i was using a heart chakra mudra, and that absorbed the high away or something. now that i'm just dicking around i'm getting pretty altered and my bowels are agitated (good ol robo.....)
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Om bhur bhuvaha swaha tat savitur varenyam bhargo devasya dhimahi, dhiyo yonah prachodyat.
We meditate upon that supreme light , the source of all creation, may it illumine our intellects and bring us eternal life.
Edited by leery11 (12/13/05 08:05 PM)
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Muppet69_420
Speed feeder
 
Registered: 03/23/05
Posts: 2,592
Last seen: 2 years, 9 months
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Re: Live-ish Goal oriented DXM tripping. [Re: leery11]
#5059920 - 12/13/05 08:58 PM (6 years, 5 months ago) |
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If you felt the "DXM" trip and used proper doseage by calculating it with ur weight for me its 125 lbs *forgot method* calculated 56 somehow and divded the mg dose by that and whatever u get is the kg/mg for me at 125 lbs 300mg is around 5-6.0+kg/mg, which usually took 2-2:30 sometimes longer. I never expected anything soon.. it just gradually starts taking effects usually in my case I wld start feeling a lil dizzy and a small feeling of disoirentation. This jumped to higher levels of the two and higher then higher n higher .. so on.
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Quote:
I live to learn and learn to live.
forget w/e was here b4 it was meth gibberish....    ....thats as old as my account...
On that note fart in public and grin. 
Hail Shroomery!
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leery11
Stranger
Registered: 06/24/05
Posts: 5,223
Last seen: 1 year, 3 months
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Re: Live-ish Goal oriented DXM tripping. [Re: Muppet69_420]
#5059964 - 12/13/05 09:07 PM (6 years, 5 months ago) |
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i can hardly read your post everything is teh spinning.
i'm definitely high out of my miiiind in a super speedy happy way.the 5-htp syngergises nicely, but am i tripping? well i can't say that I am.
mayhaps the computer screen is bouncing up and down to the prose of a madman driving through the universe at 1000 miles per hour faster than he is used to traveling while staying completely still and trying to think of things to type because he has so much goddammeneddeded! enegery! and the computer is bouncing up and down but its really just his head moving.
he contemplates the things he could do, but he really just wants to socialize with people.... and in typing this he realizes that his typing skills aren't entirely up to snuff, he sounds like one of those stenographers though, and feels a sort of zen unison with his talking.
he wonders why he is typing in third person, and where it all began, but ah who cares the fucking flow is wonderfully deliciously zen!
or is it not? does it matter not what it is that matters does not?
DXM is hella crazy. I want to socialize with people and be a loon.
: (
it's like being a kid. But where are my fucking playmates! 1111oneoneone111one. See........ I might have to take out my energy on the internets if I can't think of something to do. It's not an introspective trip right now but that's okay, I"m just flowing with it, its fun. Neutral. Fun. Neutral. Both. Which is good for a clear head. Channeling from the dexed out void in my mind.
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Om bhur bhuvaha swaha tat savitur varenyam bhargo devasya dhimahi, dhiyo yonah prachodyat.
We meditate upon that supreme light , the source of all creation, may it illumine our intellects and bring us eternal life.
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Muppet69_420
Speed feeder
Registered: 03/23/05
Posts: 2,592
Last seen: 2 years, 9 months
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Re: Live-ish Goal oriented DXM tripping. [Re: leery11]
#5060004 - 12/13/05 09:15 PM (6 years, 5 months ago) |
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I've had something like that.. I wld get this disconnected feeling from everything and feel "away" but knew where I was and was totaly incontrol.. of most things me. I also had dbl vision mixed with another dbl vision but were different? Hard to express. Wasnt hullcinations as much as it was a real drunken state with more of a vision fuck and lil less euphoria though alien from alcohol making DXM very enjoyable. I only ever had a light feeling, sense to express myself towards others, 2x2 vision that quirved, odd disconnection that brings frusteration (something u know u can control but cnt cuz ur tripping and honestly wish u cld and keep trying even thgh u dnt..iunno), and a great sense of pleasure for walking and rarely running n playin with my pets.
P.S.
It's as if your recent post in this thread gives off an vibe that confirms your trippin.. I swear I nrly feel the high, a warm feeling buries in my chest. This isnt an urge it's just more of a Oh yeah I feel ya.. I really do.
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Quote:
I live to learn and learn to live.
forget w/e was here b4 it was meth gibberish.... ....thats as old as my account...
On that note fart in public and grin.
Hail Shroomery!
Edited by Savako (12/13/05 09:17 PM)
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leery11
Stranger
Registered: 06/24/05
Posts: 5,223
Last seen: 1 year, 3 months
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Re: Live-ish Goal oriented DXM tripping. [Re: Muppet69_420]
#5060084 - 12/13/05 09:27 PM (6 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Savako said:
It's as if your recent post in this thread gives off an vibe that confirms your trippin.. I swear I nrly feel the high, a warm feeling buries in my chest. This isnt an urge it's just more of a Oh yeah I feel ya.. I really do.
dude ur fucking tripping me out. your post is all swirly and incomprehensible, what the hell were you saying? Something about alcohol. This is like being drunk, except lucidly drunk, ..... lucidly drunk. I mean does that make sense? YOu're so wacked out, but its kinda psychedelic and clear. But your'e WHACKED OUT.
this shit is crazy. It must be the 5-htp, i think i'm more far out than the last time i did a higher dose than this, but i'm also on oral herb, more than i was on oral herb last time
but am i tripping? Yes I am but it's not like psychedelic, not at all, i'm just bouncing off the walls manic and like... i dunno.
i understand why SOAD made that song that goes JUMP POGO POGO POGO BOUNCE POGO POGO POGO that's so hard to type though.
but I AM the song jump .... bounce, etc... pogo..... that's how like wired I am.
Maybe the psychedelicness will start soon? The issue is I'm all riled up and I want to mess with people and go talk to girls and like have a good old time being hyper social in a manic way! but i have no one so i'm like..... delinquently posting free form thoughts on the internet..... and ummm
maybe i'll watch a movie but i'm so amped. hmm. well this is not an introspective trip but fuck if it isn't fun! it might be introspective when i retire to sleep.
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Om bhur bhuvaha swaha tat savitur varenyam bhargo devasya dhimahi, dhiyo yonah prachodyat.
We meditate upon that supreme light , the source of all creation, may it illumine our intellects and bring us eternal life.
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leery11
Stranger
Registered: 06/24/05
Posts: 5,223
Last seen: 1 year, 3 months
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Re: Live-ish Goal oriented DXM tripping. [Re: leery11]
#5060098 - 12/13/05 09:31 PM (6 years, 5 months ago) |
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i'm like hearing weird swirling shit that comes from me not paying attention to what's going on in the outside world
man i'm tripping i think. whoa. mang. whoa.
like the anchorman dvd is in, but it's not playing, and the background music morphs into this psychedelic feedback if i ignore it for too long and i'm like floating out of ...... i dunno.
fuckin fun dude. but.... why am i tripping so damn hard, is it the 5-htp? But I'm not tripping either I kind of retain a sense of normalicy but it's quickly fading as the ... I dunno.
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Om bhur bhuvaha swaha tat savitur varenyam bhargo devasya dhimahi, dhiyo yonah prachodyat.
We meditate upon that supreme light , the source of all creation, may it illumine our intellects and bring us eternal life.
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leery11
Stranger
Registered: 06/24/05
Posts: 5,223
Last seen: 1 year, 3 months
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Re: Live-ish Goal oriented DXM tripping. [Re: leery11]
#5060192 - 12/13/05 09:50 PM (6 years, 5 months ago) |
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mercy-me.... dxm + herb = way out there........
i mean..... this is a trip. but at the same time it's not. I feel so farrrrr out and everything is shaking but i feel SO NORMAL!
I wonder if I close my eyes that I will see 3d visions and be transported through spac,e it feels like it, but I dont' really see much.
okay seeing a lot from my third eye, rainbow splits into ...... people holding things like on salvia splits into...... these people making a room around me..... leads to awareness of location in third eye chakra or something ummm yeah mmkay!
but it feels normal! what the shiz heh-heh-lol.
okay fine, this life, this stuff, its a surface distraction, I guess my ego is waiting for me to say "let's go" and I guess it does not have a tight grip on reality. I will lie down for a while and see what I see..... perhaps listen to some music. This is out there.
Really out there. Third eye may open.
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Om bhur bhuvaha swaha tat savitur varenyam bhargo devasya dhimahi, dhiyo yonah prachodyat.
We meditate upon that supreme light , the source of all creation, may it illumine our intellects and bring us eternal life.
Edited by leery11 (12/13/05 09:50 PM)
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leery11
Stranger
Registered: 06/24/05
Posts: 5,223
Last seen: 1 year, 3 months
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Re: Live-ish Goal oriented DXM tripping. [Re: leery11]
#5060208 - 12/13/05 09:53 PM (6 years, 5 months ago) |
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okay i wrote that, right above, while the song comfortably waiting by dredg was on.
amazing synchronicity perhaps with god.
cool! report back when i... or if i voyage way out. It's like a have a choice. I'm meeting the union of ying and yang right here and we're on the climax of orgasm....
I'm serious. I 100% mean that. Ying and Yang on the climax of orgasm. I guess it's time to delve deep. WIsh me luck please. But I will brave it.
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Om bhur bhuvaha swaha tat savitur varenyam bhargo devasya dhimahi, dhiyo yonah prachodyat.
We meditate upon that supreme light , the source of all creation, may it illumine our intellects and bring us eternal life.
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leery11
Stranger
Registered: 06/24/05
Posts: 5,223
Last seen: 1 year, 3 months
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Re: Live-ish Goal oriented DXM tripping. [Re: leery11]
#5060712 - 12/13/05 11:54 PM (6 years, 5 months ago) |
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I became a pillow.
I became enormously soft.
And I managed to resert my personality. I had a psychedelic experience! And still am having it.
I followed the thought "we need to heal at all levels" down into sleep thoughts, into fragments, into symbols, and then blam there was this chalkboard being wiped clean, and it said "who do you want to be?" or something to me... and I said happy, calm, peaceful, etc..... and
I was just covercome with this immense softness over my entire body, it was the most familiar and loving thing in the world. I know I have felt it before..... it was great.
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Om bhur bhuvaha swaha tat savitur varenyam bhargo devasya dhimahi, dhiyo yonah prachodyat.
We meditate upon that supreme light , the source of all creation, may it illumine our intellects and bring us eternal life.
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leery11
Stranger
Registered: 06/24/05
Posts: 5,223
Last seen: 1 year, 3 months
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Re: Live-ish Goal oriented DXM tripping. [Re: leery11]
#5061690 - 12/14/05 08:48 AM (6 years, 5 months ago) |
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Okay that was the farthest out I've ever been yet on a psychedelic.
I lied down and worked on opening the third eye.... I watched as I could gradually see my room with my eyes closed, and realized that my eyelids were sort of opening and my eyes themselves were rolling back in my head. Though I am somewhat confused about this because I have had my eyelids completely closed, touched them to verify, and still been able to see my surroundings on DXM before.
At any rate I let them roll up to look at my third eye and tried to open it. I saw some stuff but I wouldn't say it opened completely.
But I noticed that upon doing that, the energy shifted down into my throat, into dreaming consciousness, and at this point I could easily see my entire room around me, despite not really having my eyes open. I concluded that I had accessed dreaming consciousness while awake via an open third eye, and that is all that tripping ever is.
It was real neat.
Then I used that healing mantra and carried myself down into subconscious material all the way until I reached this blank state, where I saw this sort of white board being erased and a voice said something like "who do you want to be?" to me. So I said "Me...... happy...... " and some other things.
and I was just immediately softened.
I felt like a pillow. It was heavenly and infinitely familiar. This place had been experienced in detail by me before yet it seemed like this is the first time it had ever been accessed. It was wonderful!
I need to reach it again.
This was a level 2 trip, mainly because I took 3 hits of herb and things got real psychedelic. But it's amazing how composed I still stayed while feeling like I was drifting through the bardo and unravelingi a large portion of my mind.
it was very much like the threshold of salvia.
I do have to say that LSA seems to be the better hallucinagen. DXM seems kind of sterile and though its certainly very psychedelic, it's kind of like a psychedelic TV show, whereas maybe LSA is like a psychedelic opera. I dunno. LSA just had that more Godly feel.... but I tried to access God on DXM too and got some decent insights as well.
I much prefer the body effects of DXM though, LSA is real harsh on the stomach, DXM only a little bit. But the whole delirious dissociative "i move my body and feel like i'm on a roller coaster" thing seems like it may not be good for your brain.
0--------------
so also. My goal was to ...... figure out my relationships or some such thing... well when I started tripping I adopted the personality of a warrior. and in my dreams last night I ran into this girl who said she was a shamanistic warrior, and my anima.... we were kind of dissonant because I wasn't sure if I believed her, and she was upset at me for not remembering her, on account of being misguided in this life or something..... but yeah.
I figure to properly develop my psyche I need to seek her out in future dreams and build a good relationship with me. She didn't care about my physical limitations, my human nature, my .... "errs" .... she was patient..... kind of stern but not in a mean way, in a loving way I suppose. I'm not sure. She was just kind of a reflection of me, but with different traits... so it's not like I felt warmth from her like I'd get from like other humans I don't know... but it was kind of a brotherly/sisterly thing where like... I dunno..... she's suporting me but it's not like the kind of support you get from a mate or something.
But we cuddled and almost had sex so maybe she has that to offer too... well ... I just believe that she's a part of me and that if I get to know her better in the dreamscape I will benefit myself greatly on a subtle level. The question is, how do I find her? She sought me out...... I need to be able to find her in my dreams when I'm NOT tripping on DXM.
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Om bhur bhuvaha swaha tat savitur varenyam bhargo devasya dhimahi, dhiyo yonah prachodyat.
We meditate upon that supreme light , the source of all creation, may it illumine our intellects and bring us eternal life.
Edited by leery11 (12/14/05 09:13 AM)
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