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 crunchytoast
oppositional
Registered: 04/07/05
Posts: 1,133
Loc: aporia
Last seen: 6 years, 1 month
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 how i coped with hppd 
#4130087 - 05/03/05 11:45 PM (8 years, 17 days ago) |
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i want to share my experience with something i'd call hppd in the hopes it helps other people:
i experimented in college and when i stopped using it i kept getting lots of weird feelings, like body feelings. also i felt the world was divided in two, red and green, these two colors. i wont go into it but it was very odd and persistent. i couldnt make it stop. it just happened all the time. but i felt if i gave into it i would go crazy or something. the sensations were mild and went to my hands sometimes and i had these desires to make idiosyncratic gestures with my hands. it was something small, except for the fact it bothered me. i dont remember this bothering me in class, for example, i suppose when my mind was off of it it was ok.
the effects diminished with time. the worst part was the feeling i had no control over it/feeling like i was crazy. in retrospect it seems like hypochondria to me but at the time it caused mental anguish. i wish i had known about this place and posted on here, looks like there's lots of good people here.
anyway finally the way i got over it was by thinking about something one of my psych profs said: actions and feelings are separate. a person cant control how they feel, but they can decide whether to act on that feeling or not. this realization let me feel free to experience the flashback sensations during my everyday life. then i tried instead of trying to will them to stop, to just let them be. at first they stayed and were annoying, they bothered me but with no anguish. then eventually they faded and i kind of miss them now.
honestly this outlook has helped me with lots of things, not just perisistent hallucinations. i still have intense flashbacks when i smoke weed, but thats something i dont want to stop 
odd story im sure but hope that helps someone.
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"consensus on the nature of equilibrium is usually established by periodic conflict." -henry kissinger
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freddurgan
Techgnostic
Registered: 01/11/04
Posts: 3,648
Last seen: 11 months, 16 days
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Quote:
crunchytoast said:
actions and feelings are separate. a person cant control how they feel, but they can decide whether to act on that feeling or not.
But that's incredibly incorrect and the path to very much mental instability and torment in people's lives. However, the second part is indeed true. You have control over your actions at all times. Mellow out 
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barfightlard
tales of theinexpressible
Registered: 01/29/03
Posts: 8,670
Loc: Canoodia
Last seen: 3 years, 4 months
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Re: how i coped with hppd [Re: freddurgan]
#4132364 - 05/04/05 01:52 PM (8 years, 17 days ago) |
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How can you control how you feel, unless you deny your emotions?
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"What business is it of yours what I do, read, buy, see, say, think, who I fuck, what I take into my body - as long as I do not harm another human being on this planet?" - Bill Hicks
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