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 pyrate999
INTP
 
Registered: 03/07/10
Posts: 6,459
Loc: Wrong place, wrong time.
Last seen: 2 minutes, 52 seconds
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 Panic Attacks and Eating. 
#15415720 - 11/24/11 02:33 AM (1 year, 5 months ago) |
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First off, I'm not really looking for help. I just need a place to get this off my chest. But opinions and tips and info are all welcome.
Basically I was driving home for the break, thinking. I always think when I drive. I've been trying to cut back on the thinking for the sake of my mental health, but there was just something about driving for over 7 hours by myself that put me on overload thinking, it was very reflective. I hit deep, too. I was thinking about the world population and how it's only growing faster and faster. I know it's completely out of my control, but I just could not get over the fact that there are simply too many of us. Me taking an ecology course didn't help the situation any. This started a solid 6 hours into the driving, so I was in a good (bad...) state of mind, in the thought zone.
Next thing I knew, I was in a crowded mess of cars just stuck in traffic. I don't usually get stuck in traffic and this bothered me. I kept thinking, wow there are just too many damn people, which sucks because I usually love people. I just can't relate to them as well when they are in big metal containers.
I managed to get through the congestion after about an hour, which was a relief but still left me ruffled. This was all happening after sundown and I don't usually drive at night, so I was already out of my comfort zone, but I dealt with it. It wasn't bad. I've driven at night before and I usually like it. Just me and the dark, everywhere but what my headlights would reveal to me. That's what I was expecting to experience after getting out of traffic, but no, there were vehicles everywhere! I couldn't believe it! The one chance of peace I was looking for in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night was not going to happen!
People were everywhere at night, it made me upset. I could only think about the 7 BILLION (7,000,000,000+!) other people on this rock, and how we don't have as much space as we used to. I've grown up introverted and I enjoy my open space, away from others in quiet, and therefor was reeeally looking forward to the lonesome road to let my mind wind free. To have that taken away was just too much at the time. I could not find that moment of peace within me. I tried and tried, but nothing ever came, nothing but more racing thoughts of how there are people around me when there just flat out shouldn't be. I felt like a cat flicking it's tail faster and faster in annoyance. My thoughts just kept speeding up, until the breathing kicked in and all that jazz...
I managed to pull myself together quite easily, but was still left in tears. Typing this out now makes it seem like something silly to get all worked up over, but I really felt like something was wrong with the world, and still have a bit of that feeling now. But I noticed I felt AMAZINGLY better after I ate the rest of my subway. Indescribably better. I felt like all was okay in the world, and it was just me and my sandwich chilling on the side of the highway.
This got me thinking, are we being blinded by our immediate comforts? Food playing a large role in comfort of course due to health benefits. It sure felt like all was okay with me, all was okay with the world. Which I find almost completely false if I look at it, if I look at it... but why bother when I have this delicious sandwich to look at, why?
I've never had panic attacks in my life, other than once on a shroom trip. These were full blown physical panic attacks. I don't know how bad they can get, but these felt bad.
Anyway, the recent attacks I had were caused, I think, by a combination of racing thoughts, which I usually get and can handle, with a lack of nutrition.
Now, I've heard of people fasting in combination with meditation to reach a certain mental state, and it sure felt that way to me having not eaten much that day or the previous.
Well, that's it. Phew.
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Do you have a cat?    
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 cateyes
Registered: 12/16/03
Posts: 2,754
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 Re: Panic Attacks and Eating. [Re: pyrate999]
#15417218 - 11/24/11 02:00 PM (1 year, 5 months ago) |
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what you had was an anxiety attack... panic attacks will completely debilitate you... anxiety, panic attacks and ocd are all psychological as you probably already know... it was good that you were able to recover so quickly... very cool... i hope you have a good thanksgiving...
Kensho 
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 foliocb
Self-destruction...
Registered: 07/14/08
Posts: 1,070
Last seen: 1 day, 20 hours
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 Re: Panic Attacks and Eating. [Re: cateyes]
#15417480 - 11/24/11 03:03 PM (1 year, 5 months ago) |
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wat
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