edit// forgot to put this on anon...but I'm feeling a lot better about the situation so I'll just leave it as is. Plus the last few replies have been so genuine and I don't feel the need to hide behind anon anymore

Kensho, thank you for sharing that personal experience and comparison. I completely agree with you in that overall attitude during pregnancy is indicative of a person's potential parenting skills. I am at that age where pregnancies are no longer hidden like they were in high school and college, but celebrated on Facebook and in person...I've been witnessing firsthand the differences in some of my pregnant/just gave birth friends. And, sad to say, a lot of your observations about excessive neediness are true in my friends' cases, as well. I'm not going to pretend that hormones don't play a significant role in a pregnant person's attitude, but I will say that the difference in how people choose to navigate said hormones is really a testament to character. Of course, not arguing that all women who are strong during pregnancy will be strong mothers after birth...but there is an interesting correlation there that, at least from my observations and experiences, shouldn't be ignored.

My boyfriend talks extensively about how, in his mind, his roommates are totally unprepared to have a kid. I trust his judgement, and from what I've seen, I agree. But hopefully everything works out in the end

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cateyes said:
who knows, maybe the woman in OP's story will go on to become a good mother, odds are she will... but this needy attitude is not a good sign, never willing to do things for herself... shame on her, OP's boyfriend did one favor, then another then another and now it's become standard routine... in effect OP's boyfriend has become a quasi husband during the day until the husband comes home... what would really add insult to injury is if she continued to pull this shit when the husband was home...

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cateyes said:
the only good thing out of all of this is that OP knows the he will provide for her needs if they ever have a child themselves(i know they want to adopt! just sayin')... he has a good heart and is willing to provide for others needs, these are very important personality traits in a man... as far as others telling OP she should back off, why should she? i mean it's only a matter of weeks at this point point but still, if it's this obvious he's being taken advantage of and OP isn't making this shit up, why isn't it alright for OP to look out for her own mental health??? if you're in a healthy relationship you should be able to talk about anything, from a over demanding housemate to tiny ass hairs without having to worry about hurting the relationship... just sayin'...

and what the fuck was she doing in his room?

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Kensho

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Oh trust me, I wish I could be bullshitting this whole story My weeks have been spent reading through Yahoo answers, asking Google for advice, hell, even asking my family for their opinions! (My mom's a nurse and agrees with the other ladies on this thread about my boyfriend's roommates unflattering desire to transform pregnancy into a severe disability).

We do talk about everything and anything, and the topic of his pregnant roommate has come up many times before in different shades. I will be talking to him tonight, and this will be the first talk where I am hitting on specific problems rather than just a "I feel weird about this" vagueness.

Thank you for the optimism! It's good to look on the bright side of things. And hey--Judith! My brother plays the drums...steals my camera equipment and sets up in the garage to put himself on YouTube She's great, thanks for sharing.