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Anonymous #1
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 Wife has no sex drive 
#15198904 - 10/09/11 05:39 AM (1 year, 7 months ago) |
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Been together for 6 yrs and as of 2 yrs ago she lost all desire to have sex
Itll get to a point where I'll try for a couple of weeks and she just gives in and has sex with me to shut me up...she goes through half ass motions and keeps looking at me if im done yet...tears me apart every time...i tell her that it hurts me every time and being that it's been a couple of years my conclusion is that she can really give a fuck about how I feel about our sexual relationship
I've tried everything...oral, nope she dont like that, romantic night, romantic weekend, giving her mental and emotional support; I've also read a bunch of articles online on why woman are like this and have followed their advice .... I've also attempted on numerous occasions to talk to her about it and she really just blows me off, has no care or ownership to fix it
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Anonymous #2
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next time you have sex with her dominate that pussy. she'll come back
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Anonymous #1
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Kinda difficult when she just lays there lifeless as if your the last person she wants
It's like wanting to give it to her like a pro but the only practice you've got is once every 3 weeks, kinda practice where the b team shows up and no one but yourself wants to be there
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 4Grambreeden
Learner
Registered: 06/22/10
Posts: 185
Loc: USA 
Last seen: 6 months, 29 days
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and this is your wife. sucks, you need to get this fixed. sounds like you've tried talking to her about it tho so idk what the next step is.
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When you are born into that much wealth and thus power you don't care about gaining more money. You can already buy / have anything you want. These guys are motivated by the power to control millions of people. To build or break empires. Thats what these guys spend their time doing.
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Anonymous #3
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Tell her its signalling that she wants to end the relationship and demand an answer because your not going to just sit silent while the relationship breaks down. Ask her what she wants and why shes doesn't like it anymore.
I can only guess she wants to cause you to break up with her. Sorry man.
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Anonymous #4
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If she's always had a low sex drive, it could just be that she's getting lazy in the relationship.
Depression and stress can reduce libido, did something happen that could have triggered either?
If nothing has changed in her work or personal life and her sex drive was previously high, unfortunately it could mean she's been seeing someone else.
Regardless, it sounds like the relationship needs a shakeup. Communication seems to have failed, so the next thing to try is to give her some distance to let her think about how things are going. You can do this either physically with a trip away (ideally), or emotionally by withdrawing emotional support and all forms of physical intimacy for a short period of time. She'll either sense something is wrong and open a channel of communication, or it'll show you that the relationship is ending.
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Anonymous #2
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so the next thing to try is to give her some distance to let her think about how things are going. You can do this either physically with a trip away (ideally), or emotionally by withdrawing emotional support and all forms of physical intimacy for a short period of time. She'll either sense something is wrong and open a channel of communication, or it'll show you that the relationship is ending.
damn. that's some on point relationship advice. gonna have to use that IMO situation. gets straight to the point.
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Anonymous #5
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Push her button. Be the clit commander. She'll be howling for more in no time and you'll be back in business.
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pslyke
Contemplative
Registered: 06/12/10
Posts: 590
Last seen: 9 hours, 15 minutes
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This could be caused by so many things---the problem is that she might not even know or understand what the root cause is. Does she take medication (birth control and/or antidepressants)? In some woman birth control can absolutely zap sex drive. If this is the case you are better off (if necessary) with other forms of birth control. Perhaps she is perimenopausal, this can happen even in reasonably young woman. Some medications can improve sex drive if the source of the low libido is unknown. For instance, wellbutrin is often prescribed to increase libido or counteract the libido-lowering effects of antidepressants. Some woman actually report having spontaneous orgasms on wellbutrin (that's awesome). Other medications that can be prescribed include viagra (not just for men) and low dose testosterone. You are married to this woman, and I would guess that the degree of hurt you are feeling about this is somewhat proportional to your love for her. That said, this is worth investing serious time into figuring out. Try and not come off as accusatory, as this will only make things worse. I would recommend seeing a Dr ASAP and trying to figure out is there is something medical going on.
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Anonymous #6
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not trying to be an ass, but this could also be an indication that she's having her sexual needs fulfilled outside of the marriage
tldr: she might be fucking someone else bro
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Anonymous #1
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Thanks everyone, she doesn't take any meds or birth control and her libido was good during the first few years of our relationship.
I guess I'll give her distance
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Anonymous #6
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yet you don't think she's capable of cheating?
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Eat A Peach
Iconoclastic guerilla
Registered: 05/19/08
Posts: 268
Loc: I can see my house from h...
Last seen: 8 hours, 10 minutes
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Have her see a female gynecologist. There can be a number of physiological reasons for a diminishing libido, some of which could be hormonally based. A doctor who is a woman will be more sympathetic and understanding of the problem.
You didn't say how old she is. If she is approaching middle age, menopause could also come into play with the associated abating hormones.
Let her know that you are willing to help her work through this. Good luck my brother.
SE
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Look inside yourself, and if you don't see what you want,
Maybe sometimes then you don't,
But leave your mind alone and just get high.
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 cateyes
Registered: 12/16/03
Posts: 2,754
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you received some good and not so good advice so far... a number of different things could be behind loss of libido in women... everything from low thyroid function(which in turn causes low adrenal function... i'm being tested for low adrenal function this thursday), hormonal imbalance and postmenopausal condition to name a few... if you can rule out some of these medical conditions then there are a handful of herbs you can use like: tribulus, damiana, shatavari, wild yam and ginsing... i'm not suggesting that you use all of them during the same period but select a few after talking with an herbalist... they all have the capacity to normalize hormone levels, eventually increasing sex drive... 
Kensho
Edited by cateyes (10/09/11 12:46 PM)
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cateyes
Registered: 12/16/03
Posts: 2,754
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for one reason or another the server double posted my comment so i just edited it down...
Kensho
Edited by cateyes (10/09/11 01:07 PM)
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Wife has no sex drive [Re: cateyes]
#15199525 - 10/09/11 11:40 AM (1 year, 7 months ago) |
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thanks everyone
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SillyMe
mongrel
Registered: 04/19/11
Posts: 224
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Quote:
Anonymous said:
I've tried everything...oral, nope she dont like that, romantic night, romantic weekend, giving her mental and emotional support; I've also read a bunch of articles online on why woman are like this and have followed their advice .... I've also attempted on numerous occasions to talk to her about it and she really just blows me off, has no care or ownership to fix it
Sounds like you've done a lot things right so far. But my question would be, are you doing these things in order to just get her interested in jumping into bed or doing them because you are concerned about her? How do you think she views these attempts? She could very well view these things all as empty ways to get her to spread her legs - hence the mercy fucks. My guess is something much deeper than a simple lack of libido is going on. Did something happen two years ago that sparked this? Like having kids or some other huge life change? Has your relationship changed in other ways?
I could be wrong in guessing that anon4 is a male, but I can say that from my female perspective this:
Quote:
so the next thing to try is to give her some distance to let her think about how things are going. You can do this either physically with a trip away (ideally), or emotionally by withdrawing emotional support and all forms of physical intimacy for a short period of time. She'll either sense something is wrong and open a channel of communication, or it'll show you that the relationship is ending.
is absolutely horrible advice unless you are ready for the relationship to end. Taking a trip by yourself is fine - I think everyone should - but withdrawing emotional support is going to be the nail in the coffin. I am going to generalize here since we know not everyone is the same but men tend to equate intimacy/love through sex whereas women equate it through verbal expression/emotional support.
She is not giving you the intimacy that you need - but if you counteract it with this type of "fine, then no more emotional support for you" scenario - well first off, it's very passive aggressive and nobody reacts well to that sort of behavior. Secondly, it's going to push her away even further. Are you ready for that?
Does she see a problem with her lack of libido? If she does, and she's willing to see a doctor and/or try some natural herbal routes than that is a good sign and says that it's not something between you and her but that she feels it truly is something physical.
Depression can most certainly cause low libido and if she's unhappy in the marriage that can cause depression - two problems to fix there and neither are quick/easy fixes. I went through a horrible depression for years that completely erased my sex drive. Welbutrin did help pull me out of the depression but did nothing for me sexually. Upon coming out of the depression I realized it was primarily my marriage that put me there.
I think this "she goes through half ass motions and keeps looking at me if im done yet" speaks volumes. You two need to have some very deep heart to hearts. You should express yourself from a perspective of how this makes you feel - ie, "I miss the intimacy we once had, I miss the way we used to kiss and it makes me feel ________ and I want to try to make things better." as opposed to "why don't you want to have sex with me anymore" - because that backs her into a corner and will make her defensive and not willing to share what's really going on. Keep it focused on your feelings and then ask her what she's feeling.
If there is still love left on both ends, counseling could also help.
I'm sorry you're going through this - it's not easy - for either one of you.
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He said fly with me, touch the face of the true God...
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Wife has no sex drive [Re: SillyMe]
#15199995 - 10/09/11 01:47 PM (1 year, 7 months ago) |
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I'm doing those things so she likes being intimate, to have he enjoy it
All she says is she doesn't like having sex, she sees no problem with it.
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Anonymous #7
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Did you previously enjoy a fulfilling sex life with her? What do you think changed?
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occollegeboi
MushroomSpaceGod
Registered: 04/11/11
Posts: 1,196
Last seen: 18 hours, 42 minutes
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All you guys telling him to "dominate that pussy and that will show her" are all retards. How the hell is he going to "dominate that pussy" when she has no sex drive to even continue on with the sex? Sheesh. Think with something OTHER than your dicks for once.
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