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 Humility
Working on it
Registered: 10/07/08
Posts: 6,696
Last seen: 26 days, 5 hours
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 Am I fucking up?? 
#15007529 - 08/31/11 06:00 PM (1 year, 8 months ago) |
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Long story short - on two occasions I've had girls make overt references about sex to me.
Should this be taken as an immediate and strong signal or are some girls just much more talkative than others?
Regardless of the answers that I receive in this thread the next time a girl mentions sex to me, at all, without me initiating the conversation, I'm going to take that as either a subtle or overt signal that she wants me to push the ball forward and that's exactly what I'm going to do. For the record, once I've determined that I'm attracted to a woman I automatically push the ball forward, but try to do so at a moderate pace. I think this signal however may indicate that I should change the pace.
Situation 1: Girl I'm hanging out with for a few hours (shortest date I've had actually, like 3 hours lol). We're discussing her being hit on in public (something I like to ask girls about) and how responsive she is to it. We're talking and the concept comes up that when men engage women in conversation on the street they are often less receptive to it (some women anyway) because they perceive that man as having an end-goal (sex) and that's off-putting to those women.
Almost IMMEDIATELY after she finishes that thought she says something about how however if she runs in to the right guy and things are feeling right she's way down for having sex, whether that be frequent, yet no strings attached sex, lets build a relationship sex, one-night stand sex, whatever.
Was this girl trying to tell me she wants to fuck me?
Situation 2: This girl I was just with last night told me that she'd just had both nipples pierced just yesterday LITERALLY within 2-5 minutes of meeting her. I put forward some sexual energy. We sat down I tossed my arm around her shoulder. She leaned in and sat on her legs on the bench and we talked and did a lot of brushing up against each other. I did a lot of touching her, in a lot of places which she seemed mostly very comfortable with but I couldn't seem to get things to move forward. She looked away from my eyes a lot and would stare off at other scenes which is not a positive signal IMO although there was also a moderate amount of eye contact and we had a number of gazes into each other's eyes, I wasn't really feeling the love from her eyes lol. After the nipple-piercing talk but before the bench-chilling she happened to mention that people often find her very intriguing and are feeling her but that she often doesn't feel very many people which sorta left a bad taste in my mouth, but I can understand how that could happen and sometimes it's just a phenomenological fact of life. Most importantly however she is also leaving for Korea on Saturday so I think that one might be in the wind.
I'm not weird or off about sex at all. I'll fuck a broad no problems. I'll also talk about sex and get them thinking about sex no problems. I do however like to work slowly. I like to ask them about lots of other things like how they want to live their lives and how they feel about the police and government, etc. etc. Things that are important to me.
I'm not too slow though. By the second date there should definitely be kissing and by the third-fourth date I know whether or not I'm interested in fucking. That said I'm not at all keen on "fucking on the first date" like some people seem to stress. The second date is fine IMO though.
When THEY DO IT FIRST though, what does that mean? Does it mean any number of things or does it PRETTY MUCH mean that that's the green light for me to at LEAST ramp things up considerably? What I mean by that is increasing the sexual tension, touching her more sensually (ears, neck, stroking her hair), talking to her about things that will evoke sexual imagery and sexual emotions.
I don't see a girl communicating with a guy she feels uncomfortable around about her nipples or about wanting to fuck but maybe some people are just more open than others?
Truthfully I should have, and in the future I will simply ask these individuals straightforwardly what they are trying to communicate to me though in a playful manner, most especially with the situation of a girl that's leaving the area within a short time span. I am a little concerned that some individuals are more interested with you "figuring them out" than simply saying what you feel and being clear about what you're thinking. I see the value in both modes of communication/social relation but I believe I prefer being completely clear about everything; as clear as possible in fact.
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Azure Essence
ॐ |MagicBonerTonic| ॐ
Registered: 10/03/10
Posts: 4,356
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 42 minutes, 9 seconds
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Re: Am I fucking up?? [Re: Humility]
#15008115 - 08/31/11 07:53 PM (1 year, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
I am a little concerned that some individuals are more interested with you "figuring them out" than simply saying what you feel and being clear about what you're thinking.
Yeah fuck those people, I dont buy into those dumb games anymore. I had an ex like that, and that same attitude is the same thing that like you have to get them the exactly right, most perfect present for whatever occasion, or they're just really bummed, shit like that.
I'm fucking tired of reading girls minds, getting involved with that 30 year old was the SHIT. She spoke her mind freely, and took what you said at face value
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 Lynnch
Strangerer
Registered: 04/29/09
Posts: 4,232
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Re: Am I fucking up?? [Re: Humility]
#15009698 - 09/01/11 01:37 AM (1 year, 8 months ago) |
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Well.. If she's comfortable talking to you about sex, shes probably comfortable talking about it a little more, yea?
But everyone is different. I have problems with pace too, when to turn up the pressure. I realize all the time I could have made a move, just after the moment is past.
And yes, FUCK games.. but we all love the chase a little bit.
Ask to see those nipples. When she says no, move on. Then ask again. Like you said, playful. Play dude. When she shows em to you go for it.
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fbi365
Captain of the Sinking Ship
Registered: 02/07/11
Posts: 1,887
Loc: Nowhere
Last seen: 1 day, 1 hour
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Re: Am I fucking up?? [Re: Lynnch]
#15009838 - 09/01/11 02:18 AM (1 year, 8 months ago) |
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Play the games as long as they are fun. Implicit sexual references are part of flirting. Flirting is fun and it is part of the game. Keep it fun dude. It sounds like you are just meeting these girls. If you can push it and get away with it go for it. But I will guess that the harder you push the more they will pull away. Sounds like your game is pretty tight to me but get a little more comfortable with the sex talk. I just joke. Always be joking. About sex. About everything.
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the way out is through
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millzy
Registered: 05/12/10
Posts: 6,696
Last seen: 12 hours, 10 minutes
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Re: Am I fucking up?? [Re: fbi365]
#15011081 - 09/01/11 11:23 AM (1 year, 8 months ago) |
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they both want to fuck. be more aggressive with #1 and chill on the touchy feely with #2 and let her come out of her shell a little more before you move forward.
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It is sometimes an appropriate response to reality to go insane.- Philip K. Dick
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