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Anonymous #1
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 In love with my friend 
#14860068 - 08/02/11 06:36 AM (1 year, 9 months ago) |
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A little background...I am a male and I feel as if Ive fallen in love with a female friend of mine. We have the best in depth conversations, are both EXTREMELY attracted to each other, she feels that Im the only one that really understands her and I feel she is one of the only people whose ever understood me (in a good way). We've messed around a few times and would like to mess around more (even though we know we shouldnt)...flirt constantly, sometimes subtly sometimes very obviously to everyone else.
What's the problem? She's got a boyfriend..and he's a friend of mine. I wouldnt have any problem persuading her to leave him if he was some macho douchebag or worse but he's actually a good guy. He's one of those "niceguys" that you always hope will get the girl but never does...I relate to him because I feel like Im that guy too.
He's as dumb as a sack of hammers(on and off meth head, trailer trashy, brainwashed, etc) and I feel that the girl and I are more intellectual equals (she feels this way too). He's got a good heart though and I dont want him to get hurt...he was very depressed before he got with her...the thing is she's very depressed since she got with him and has expressed multiple times that she'd rather be with someone like me. I feel like the only reason she is still with him is out of guilt and not wanting to hurt him.
I just dont know what to do about the whole situation and feel frustrated. ..
-I could cut off contact but they are both friends...we all hang out with the same people very often. Furthermore I feel like she is the only person I know who I can really talk to.
-I could wait it out and stay friends with her and pursue her when it sours but then Id feel like a lecherous vulture. Id also feel frustrated that I want her and cant immediately pursue her out of respect. We'd probably get drunk and mess around again too and both feel guilt over the whole thing.
-I could try to pursue someone else to get my mind off of her but Im sure id be thinking about her when I was with whoever else. Mentally, physically and personality wise she's what I like. When trying to pursue other girls I put fourth a little effort but eventually either I lose interest or they lose interest.
The whole timing is just wrong...I wish we expressed what we felt for eachother before she got with him.
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 moonrockmushy
certifiedpoopface
Registered: 07/01/05
Posts: 5,519
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Is honesty totally out of the question?
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 audiophoenix
Forever Young
 
Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 3,237
Loc: Upstate NY
Last seen: 2 days, 10 hours
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She needs to break up with that guy if it is indeed how you make it out to be. But that doesn't mean that you should automatically go after her. I would wait a while and make sure that he doesn't assume that you guys were pursuing each other during their relationship.
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Anonymous #1
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honesty with who?
Like what straight up telling my friend Im in love with her?
TBH I feel like if I told her that she would return the sentiment....i sense that she is in love with me too and there is just this chemistry and energy when we are around eachother...but we both restrain ourselves. I feel like if I told her she would either have a messy breakup with him or even worse say that she's also deeply in love with me, sleep with me then say that sadly she has to stay with him and then act all awkward to me but still feel that way.
audiophoenix: this guy REALLY isnt the sharpest tool in the shed...we flirt in front of him and he either doesnt notice or is in so much denial about the whole thing that he just chooses not to notice.
Edited by Anonymous (08/02/11 06:59 AM)
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xthrx
Stranger
Registered: 04/29/09
Posts: 778
Last seen: 52 minutes, 44 seconds
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Tbh. Pursue her straight away. If your friend doesnt understand then he isnt your friend.
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Anonymous #1
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 Re: In love with my friend [Re: xthrx]
#14860169 - 08/02/11 07:36 AM (1 year, 9 months ago) |
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Im friends with him but Im much better friends with her.
We've been talking quite a bit one on one...i at least owe it to myself and her to tell her how I feel.
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Anonymous #2
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Am I the only who has a hard time matching the concept of 'nice guy' with 'meth head'? I mean... I know good people who've done meth and the whole thing there but usually when you've started calling someone a meth head it's gone beyond that somewhat. Though I guess that's just me looking to help give you an excuse to say "fuck him" and I'm probably projecting my feelings about the scumbag that's dating my good friend's little sister onto him.
Anyway, I've dated my best friend's ex-girlfriend once and it was kind of awkward at times but we'd waited long enough between their breaking up and our dating that it wasn't harmful to the friendship. After the girl and I split up it actually gave us more common ground in a lot of ways - he was even the one to get me stoned afterward and make sure I was over it  So, I guess what I'm saying is: don't fuck her now, or immediately after they break up, but if after a suitable period for healing he can't get over the fact that the two of you have feelings for each other then fuck 'im.
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Anonymous #1
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She's been all texting me today talking about how much she wants to see me, Im just gonna tell her how I feel.
I guess what I mean when I say he's a nice guy despite being a meth head is he doesnt do the whole lie/cheat/steal thing that most meth heads do. He can still be a straight up ass hat at times but he believes enough in karma not to scam someone or cheat on her.
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rackem
Registered: 11/27/09
Posts: 7,827
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i would straight up ask her what she is doing with a meff head and go from there and manipulate teh sityation.
however, friends are friends and if you go down that road a conversation with said meth head my be in order.
dont do it over a text bro..
dinner instead?
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mick
living in perverty
Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 7,933
Loc: hb, cali
Last seen: 5 hours, 14 minutes
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Re: In love with my friend [Re: xthrx] 1
#14862091 - 08/02/11 04:22 PM (1 year, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
xthrx said:
Tbh. Pursue her straight away. If your friend doesnt understand then he isnt your friend.
Agreed. If shes into you and youre into her, why the fuck is she even with him? Leading him on? Feeling stuck in the relationship?
She should do herself a favor and end the relationship thats not going to go anywhere. And as for the guy being your friend, if you feel this relationship is worth it, and see long term potential, do what you have to do. Its not like you just wanna fuck. If he doesnt understand, which he probably wont at first, give him his space.
Id do it, the only exception being if he was one of my close friends and he was heartbroken. But even then if I thought I could end up marrying the girl, id probably still do it after some time had passed.
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moonrockmushy
certifiedpoopface
Registered: 07/01/05
Posts: 5,519
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Re: In love with my friend [Re: mick]
#14862331 - 08/02/11 04:56 PM (1 year, 9 months ago) |
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I meant be honest with yourself, your friend, and his/your girl.
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 MentalMeltdown
Thaddeus P. Montrose IV
Registered: 01/14/09
Posts: 580
Loc: Philly 
Last seen: 6 seconds
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you flirt with her in front of your friend? does that make you feel like the man? if i were him id leave her and then proceed to break your face. your no friend of his.
i understand you cant control how you feel towards someone or a connection that you share but dont be a scumbag and either stop fooling around with her or be honest with him about whats been going on. he may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer but its not cool to decive people.
and why is this girl still with him if your sure her feelings for you are mutual? maybe shes just a deceitful whore who gets her kicks from fucking around with her boyfriends friends.
tread carefully and dude, be honest. youll thank yourself one day
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Anonymous #3
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Your reply/ post is the best. And he needs to follow your lessons.
Hi5!!!
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audiophoenix
Forever Young
Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 3,237
Loc: Upstate NY
Last seen: 2 days, 10 hours
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metalfaith
Moron
Registered: 03/31/11
Posts: 701
Loc: 727 FL
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Quote:
Anonymous said:
I feel like if I told her that she would return the sentiment....i sense that she is in love with me too
If this is true, why hasn't she already broken up with him and gotten with you?
If she is sooooo smart, how come she is still with this guy? Could it be possible you might be inflating her because you are so in love with her?
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metalfaith
Moron
Registered: 03/31/11
Posts: 701
Loc: 727 FL
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Quote:
MentalMeltdown said:
you flirt with her in front of your friend? does that make you feel like the man? if i were him id leave her and then proceed to break your face. your no friend of his.
i understand you cant control how you feel towards someone or a connection that you share but dont be a scumbag and either stop fooling around with her or be honest with him about whats been going on. he may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer but its not cool to decive people.
and why is this girl still with him if your sure her feelings for you are mutual? maybe shes just a deceitful whore who gets her kicks from fucking around with her boyfriends friends.
tread carefully and dude, be honest. youll thank yourself one day
Oh, and this. My supposed best friend(that i've known since we were like 5) started dating this girl I was very interested in behind my back without telling me.. I was furious. I will never forget that for the rest of our relationship/my life. BE UPFRONT. it's much more appreciated.
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Enjoywho
Substance Enthusiast
Registered: 07/06/09
Posts: 6,076
Last seen: 7 days, 14 hours
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Re: In love with my friend [Re: metalfaith]
#14950924 - 08/20/11 04:51 AM (1 year, 8 months ago) |
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So what happaned op?
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"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"
"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."
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