Welcome to the Shroomery Message Board! You are experiencing a small sample of what the site has to offer. Please login or register to post messages and view our exclusive members-only content. You'll gain access to additional forums, file attachments, board customizations, encrypted private messages, and much more!
|
 Eshu
Sean.
Registered: 06/27/10
Posts: 2,139
Loc: USA
Last seen: 1 year, 2 days
|
 I got scared.. 
#14009779 - 02/22/11 07:31 PM (1 year, 3 months ago) |
|
|
Haven't posted in a while, and before I go to sleep, I figure'd I'd share a little story with you all in the pub.
So recently ( past month, more a little maybe? ) I've been feeling pretty depressed, and thought to myself.. "I'm totally ready to die, I don't exactly want to, but if I did, I wouldn't be upset, or feel like I'm missing anything"
but then, while I was spending time in Vermont with my sister, I realized my mom had to pick me up ( it's a 3 hour drive, roughly ) and I know she has trouble driving because she has Keoari ( Brain tumor thing, sorta kinda.. also, I spelled it wrong ) so she shakes a lot and stuff.
Well, I got this incredible feeling over me, that something bad could happen on the drive ( accident or what have you ) and I then I thought.. "Wow, my mom is going to be dead one day" and it scared the shit out of me. I thought about my life without her, and i got very upset/anxious/scared.
It's a terrible feeling thinking, that one day, someone you love and need is in your life, and could be gone in a second.
Now I can't get this fear out of me. I'm afraid of losing her, or anyone. I'm afraid of dieing now cause I'd be leaving people behind.
I dunno. Just wanted to share this. Anyone else feel the same?
Have a good night shroomery.
--------------------
~^*>~.Life is the hyphen between matter and spirit.~^*>~
|
pescadorabioso
Hedonistic Misanthropy
Registered: 07/07/10
Posts: 1,510
Loc: Fl
Last seen: 4 days, 7 hours
|
 Re: I got scared.. [Re: Eshu]
#14009811 - 02/22/11 07:36 PM (1 year, 3 months ago) |
|
|
I think about death every day. It's the worst part of life, in my opinion. Makes life inherently pointless in a way, yet meaningful at the same time. But just imagine how ridiculous and redundant life would be if we were immortal. Death is just a part of life, there's no way around it. Just try enjoying your time here. Who the fuck knows if there is 'another side/world'. 
--------------------
What has made them conceive that man must want a rationally advantageous choice?
I've become desensitized to these types of occurrences thus far. Yet, there lies a sensation of bitter disappointment embedded within.
FINE YOU IMBECILE; SUFFER!! IT IS YOURSELF THAT YOU ARE HURTING. NOTHING IS DETERRING YOU FROM ATTAINING THAT OF WHICH YOU INHERENTLY CRAVE. YOU HAVE LET THEM TAKE OVER YOUR MIND, YOU ARE NO LONGER IN CONTROL, YOU NEVER WERE.
|
 BlindSophist
drunken preacher
Registered: 07/11/06
Posts: 20,221
Loc: SF Bay Area
|
Re: I got scared.. [Re: Eshu]
#14009817 - 02/22/11 07:36 PM (1 year, 3 months ago) |
|
|
The thought of my parents dying is really frightening to me too. I don't honestly know if I'd be able to get by. I really need their wisdom very often, without it I'd feel pretty lost.
Life is like that. Everybody is going to die. Most of us would prefer to die later than sooner, but the later you die, the more of your friends, family, and loved ones you have to watch die.
It's fucked mang.
I don't know what to tell you. 
--------------------
Love of one is a barbarism; for it is exercised at the expense of all others. The love of God, too.
--Friedrich Nietzsche
  
|
physicist
Registered: 01/11/11
Posts: 1,752
|
Re: I got scared.. [Re: Eshu]
#14009839 - 02/22/11 07:39 PM (1 year, 3 months ago) |
|
|
I felt this way years ago. It's okay man it will pass. It is actually a good thing to come to grips with. Nobody really knows what happens when we die, but I am putting my chips on the table that it will be a good thing. Spend a lot of time thinking about it, you'll be glad that you did in the end.
|
HappyTrippin
Instrument of Soul
Registered: 07/25/08
Posts: 9,741
|
Re: I got scared.. [Re: Eshu]
#14009868 - 02/22/11 07:43 PM (1 year, 3 months ago) |
|
|
I used to be terrified of death, but after a few experiences. Both drug induced and sober.. I've realized death is a beautiful thing. Ayahuasca, Kidney Stones, heroin overdose, all 3 of these have changed my view on death, and on life. It's a sad fact that people die, and there's nothing I can do about it, so I don't waste my time fearing the inevitable. When I think about death, I look more towards it as a driving force to life.
This last thing I do, may be the last, so I'm gonna give it my all. It's just a matter of my opinion, but looking at life in general, everything is just struggling to move on from this existence into the next. Struggling to die. That's gonna be my one life's accomplishment to die. And I'm gonna go out in a blazing glory, not down in some bed in some incomprehensible pain.
One thing I really had to evaluate over the years is, I was indeed afraid and fearful of something, but what was it? A few months ago I discovered a quote that delivered the answer I was searching for, for so long.
I can't remember it word for word, but it went for something like this:
People think that death is their biggest fear, but it is just a mask over something more simple, they are afraid of being alive and truly expressing who they are.
That quote really rung out with me. And it became a reflection for a few months and it's helped me realize that death is something that's always behind me, threatening to engulf me, and as long as I carry this understanding with me, my new actions and thoughts on life will take on a completely new meaning.
--------------------
I honor the place in you in which the entire universe dwells. I honor the place in you which is of love. of truth. of light, and of peace. When you are in that place in you and I am in that place in me. We are one.
| |
|
|
You cannot start new topics / You cannot reply to topics
HTML is disabled / BBCode is enabled
Moderator:
154 topic views. 11 members, 82 guests and 6 web crawlers are browsing this forum.
[ Toggle Favorite | Print Topic ]
| | |
|
|
|
Previous
Index
Next
Threaded
Shop for: 
Edit 
Reply 
