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sirreal
devoid
Registered: 01/11/03
Posts: 1,775
Loc: In the borderlands
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
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Should he leave a note?
#1377469 - 03/15/03 04:30 AM (5 years, 8 months ago) |
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This question is kind of morbid. Acually it is real morbid but I would like to know what you guys think.
If someone you loved had decided to commit suicide (and could not be disuaded from it) would you rather he left a note and a map to where the body was,or, would you rather he just dissapeared without a trace? Leaving you to wonder for all time wether or not he was alive.
A note and a body would be traumatic. A missing person would leave some kind of hope.
The reason I ask this is because a friend of mine claims to have decided to commit suicide. He does not want to traumitize his family with a suicide so he is considering just leaving and hanging himself in a faraway tree or dumping himself in the Ocean.
I have said all I can to dissuade him. He is a very life-worthy person. But I cannot stop him. I will not use this information to help him make his decision. I just want to communicate about it with you.
-------------------- I may not always tell the truth, but atleast I'm honest
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I see what everyone is saying. It is so hard to form an opinion when you see both sides so clearly!
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Viveka
Architecturer


Registered: 10/21/02
Posts: 1,911
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Re: Should he leave a note? [Re: sirreal]
#1377929 - 03/15/03 08:25 AM (5 years, 8 months ago) |
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First off, your friend is on an ego trip and needs a gratitude check. If he really thinks his life is so bad, have him give Christopher Reeves a call. Or that girl who was born without a neck. Or a blind kid with no genitals or something.
Second, a suicide note is just a device to guilt trip someone with, or to victimize oneself. So if he really wants to kill himself, skip the note.
-------------------- Throw out your gold teeth and see how they roll
The answer they reveal - life is unreal
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sirreal
devoid
Registered: 01/11/03
Posts: 1,775
Loc: In the borderlands
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
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Re: Should he leave a note? [Re: Viveka]
#1377987 - 03/15/03 08:55 AM (5 years, 8 months ago) |
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First of all, thanks for your reply to such a morbid question.
Secondly, I don't think that the " misfortunate than you" arguement applies here.
This guy has decided he does not want to be here anymore! He wants to know how to do it causing the least amount of pain possible. Now do you have anything to say?
-------------------- I may not always tell the truth, but atleast I'm honest
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I see what everyone is saying. It is so hard to form an opinion when you see both sides so clearly!
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Baby_Hitler
Anarcho-Technologist


Registered: 03/06/02
Posts: 18,713
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Re: Should he leave a note? [Re: sirreal]
#1378044 - 03/15/03 09:26 AM (5 years, 8 months ago) |
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Sit on a chainsaw?
Death always causes loved ones pain. No reason he shouldn't suffer from it too.
--------------------
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sirreal
devoid
Registered: 01/11/03
Posts: 1,775
Loc: In the borderlands
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
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Re: Should he leave a note? [Re: Baby_Hitler]
#1378068 - 03/15/03 09:44 AM (5 years, 8 months ago) |
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What do you mean: "no reason he should not suffer to".
According to his thinking he would not suffer at all! He wants his family to suffer as least as possible. Do you understand now?
If so ,please help me understand what he wants! No clever answers, just what you think!
What would you want someone you love to do? Please help me understand! I think I would want a note and a map.
-------------------- I may not always tell the truth, but atleast I'm honest
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I see what everyone is saying. It is so hard to form an opinion when you see both sides so clearly!
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cherokee
Davey Rocket

Registered: 10/25/02
Posts: 6,945
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Re: Should he leave a note? [Re: sirreal]
#1378081 - 03/15/03 09:49 AM (5 years, 8 months ago) |
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If you haven't called a suicide help line then you haven't done all that you could. If the problem needs immediate help tell his family about all of this. No reason to end a life over something that a few months of therapy could help cure.
-------------------- King of the wild frontier
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LoverofEarth
spirit on ajourney

Registered: 10/09/02
Posts: 194
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Re: Should he leave a note? [Re: sirreal]
#1378112 - 03/15/03 10:08 AM (5 years, 8 months ago) |
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Either way is going to be traumatic for his family. Maybe if it looked like he died in an accident, but still.. I would sail out to the Bermuda Triangle and hope for de-materialization.
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sirreal
devoid
Registered: 01/11/03
Posts: 1,775
Loc: In the borderlands
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
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Re: Should he leave a note? [Re: cherokee]
#1378129 - 03/15/03 10:18 AM (5 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
If you haven't called a suicide help line then you haven't done all that you could. If the problem needs immediate help tell his family about all of this. No reason to end a life over something that a few months of therapy could help cure.
I have SCREAMED that he needs help! You do not seem to understand! I cannot help him! He has made his decision! I respect your decision , no matter what it is!
-------------------- I may not always tell the truth, but atleast I'm honest
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I see what everyone is saying. It is so hard to form an opinion when you see both sides so clearly!
Edited by sirreal (03/15/03 10:20 AM)
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sirreal
devoid
Registered: 01/11/03
Posts: 1,775
Loc: In the borderlands
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
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Re: Should he leave a note? [Re: cherokee]
#1378146 - 03/15/03 10:31 AM (5 years, 8 months ago) |
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What the fuck are you talking about!
This guy is talking about killing himself and you are talking about nothing!
Why are we here? That is the question? What do you think?!
-------------------- I may not always tell the truth, but atleast I'm honest
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I see what everyone is saying. It is so hard to form an opinion when you see both sides so clearly!
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enotake2
Stop Bush's war


Registered: 01/30/03
Posts: 1,457
Loc: Comfy chair in my lounger...
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Re: Should he leave a note? [Re: sirreal]
#1378249 - 03/15/03 11:25 AM (5 years, 8 months ago) |
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I agree with smoker for peace - maybe you should ring the mental health hotline (or your equivalent) about it and see what can be done. He's probably depressed which is a problem with perception and is very treatable. But in answer to your question, if I were the family, I would probably want to know. Can you imagine 20 years down the track and thinking your child would not ever want to talk to you again?
-------------------- Computer games don't affect kids. I mean if Pacman affected our generation as kids, we'd all be running around in a darkened room, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.
"Being bitter and hateful is like drinking a vial of poison and hoping the other person gets sick" FreakQLibrium
"My motto from here on out is: If someone or something (including me) in my life is conducting themselves in such a way that they can be seen on Jerry Springer, it's time to take out the garbage!!! When you stop taking their behaviour personally and see their antics as a true reflection on their character, it becomes absolutely nauseating." Anon. on abusive relationships.
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sirreal
devoid
Registered: 01/11/03
Posts: 1,775
Loc: In the borderlands
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Re: Should he leave a note? [Re: enotake2]
#1378302 - 03/15/03 11:51 AM (5 years, 8 months ago) |
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You did not answer my question!
None of you did!
Should he let his family know? Or should he let his family think he is alive?
His family does not like him very much! He is a black sheep!!!!
-------------------- I may not always tell the truth, but atleast I'm honest
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I see what everyone is saying. It is so hard to form an opinion when you see both sides so clearly!
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pleasesmokemarijuana
Blackface.

Registered: 03/06/03
Posts: 642
Loc: Ontario
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Re: Should he leave a note? [Re: sirreal]
#1378333 - 03/15/03 12:06 PM (5 years, 8 months ago) |
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Note and a map...
I'd bring a camera for when I find the body.
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Post deleted by Moe Howard [Re: enotake2]
#1378370 - 03/15/03 12:21 PM (5 years, 8 months ago) |
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Zepplin
journeyman

Registered: 12/31/01
Posts: 560
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Have him leave a short note and sign it.That way no one will be accused of murder,have him make it short because long suicide notes are boring.
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Phluck
Carpal Tunnel


Registered: 04/10/99
Posts: 11,349
Loc: Canada
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"why hasn't it been deleted and everyone who responded banned? "
Because this isn't a dictatorship. People are entitled to their opinions.
An overwhelming majority of people who attempt suicide decide later on that it was a bad idea. Your friend is young. His problems are temporary.
Just because you have been unable to convince him not to does not mean that he should kill himself.
This sounds like a cry for help more than anything else. Find a way to get him conselling.
-------------------- "I have no valid complaint against hustlers. No rational bitch. But the act of selling is repulsive to me. I harbor a secret urge to whack a salesman in the face, crack his teeth and put red bumps around his eyes." -Hunter S Thompson
http://phluck.is-after.us
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Sheepish
All Hail the NewFlesh


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Re: Should he leave a note? [Re: sirreal]
#1378462 - 03/15/03 01:00 PM (5 years, 8 months ago) |
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I think it would be wiser for him to not just disappear, being as it would just cause too much stress for his family/friends to not know whether he alive or dead. That kind of thing can torment a person for a long time. If he was going to do it, I would say to just do it, but not in a place where no one would find the body. I'm not encouraging him to kill himself, I believe it's his own choice, but doing a disappearance will just make things FAR worse.
-------------------- ~ Skeletons need love too ~
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Phluck
Carpal Tunnel


Registered: 04/10/99
Posts: 11,349
Loc: Canada
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Re: Should he leave a note? [Re: Phluck]
#1378474 - 03/15/03 01:03 PM (5 years, 8 months ago) |
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On second thought, who would ask their friend for advice on whether or not it's a good idea to disapear? It seems pretty obvious that you are talking about yourself.
If you are under the age of 25, which you most likely are, suicidal thoughts and extreme depression are normal. I know you think nobody understands you, and that your problems are unique, but that's bullshit. Every teenager convinces themselves that.
Killing yourself is selfish, and stupid. No matter what you have convinced yourself, your family loves you. So do your friends. Losing a friend to suicide is crippling, and you would be directly inflicting that pain on all of the people around you.
-------------------- "I have no valid complaint against hustlers. No rational bitch. But the act of selling is repulsive to me. I harbor a secret urge to whack a salesman in the face, crack his teeth and put red bumps around his eyes." -Hunter S Thompson
http://phluck.is-after.us
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enotake2
Stop Bush's war


Registered: 01/30/03
Posts: 1,457
Loc: Comfy chair in my lounger...
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Re: Should he leave a note? [Re: sirreal]
#1378735 - 03/15/03 03:49 PM (5 years, 8 months ago) |
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You did not answer my question!
Yes I did. Read it again!
-------------------- Computer games don't affect kids. I mean if Pacman affected our generation as kids, we'd all be running around in a darkened room, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.
"Being bitter and hateful is like drinking a vial of poison and hoping the other person gets sick" FreakQLibrium
"My motto from here on out is: If someone or something (including me) in my life is conducting themselves in such a way that they can be seen on Jerry Springer, it's time to take out the garbage!!! When you stop taking their behaviour personally and see their antics as a true reflection on their character, it becomes absolutely nauseating." Anon. on abusive relationships.
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Vulture
Pursuer ofWisdom


Registered: 06/18/02
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Re: Should he leave a note? [Re: enotake2]
#1378883 - 03/15/03 05:15 PM (5 years, 8 months ago) |
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first of all...tell the parents and the police about what he is going to do so that they dont get suspected of murder or soemthing if he decondes not to leave a note. But i would leave a note just for his familly to have closure. Personally i would tie his ass up, stuff him in the trunk, and take him to the mental hospital...i had a friends try to kill himslef and now he realizes that wasent such a good idea.
-------------------- Work like you dont need the money.
Love like you never been hurt.
Dance like nobody is watching.
Edited by Vulture (03/15/03 05:16 PM)
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Effed


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Re: Should he leave a note? [Re: sirreal]
#1378998 - 03/15/03 06:16 PM (5 years, 8 months ago) |
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Leaving a suicide note is like.. making a "Goodbye" post in OTD. Its just for attention.
-------------------- I'll be a new man tomorrow...
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Morphrying
Innocent as Hell
Registered: 06/21/00
Posts: 2,465
Loc: seated
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Re: Should he leave a note? [Re: sirreal]
#1381440 - 03/16/03 01:36 PM (5 years, 8 months ago) |
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If you live in the united states have the police do a welfare check on this person the next time he starts talking like this. This is part of the advice I was given from a psychiatrist. The other part of the advice that I took was to tell the person that they are just saying the same things over and over (My life sucks, I want to be dead) and when they want to do something to make their life better, let me know. The "I want to be dead" comments dissapeared but a few mos later he/she was found almost comatose on a couch with a suicide note underneathe his/her back on the couch. The person was promptly taken to the hospital, stomach pumped, etc. The person tried 30 pills of buspar because they said for anxiety and he/she thought they would be like valium and put him/her to sleep and stop breathing... I talked to the person at the hospital but that was the last contact we have had...  Also, what if your friend remains trapped in the instant of self inflicted death for eternity due to the massive release of dimethyltryptamine from the pineal at time of death...That sounds horrible to me...
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Lazerouth
Drunkard

Registered: 10/15/00
Posts: 1,091
Loc: England
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Re: Should he leave a note? [Re: Morphrying]
#1386268 - 03/17/03 10:38 PM (5 years, 8 months ago) |
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a family friend of mine killed themself the other dsy not nice at all.
ive heard alot of ppl talk about killing themselves and in my experiance if they're talking to you about it loads. they're just tryin to get attention, like when someone says they'll kill themselves so all their friends do as well.
anyway if he is serious id say leave a note. it'd be better in the long run cuz his family could come to terms with his death and move on if he just disapears they'll stay upset hoping they'll see him again.
i think it would be stylish for someone to drown themselves in a very small cup of water.
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Sterile
mushroom lover

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Re: Should he leave a note? [Re: sirreal]
#1386336 - 03/17/03 11:18 PM (5 years, 8 months ago) |
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Death is actually the same with life.
Whether you keep on breathing here with us, or you stop, wouldn't really make a difference in the universal evolution matrix.
There are people who where born with an inclination to death , and others to life.
I dont think we should judge either of them, since, there is no actuall difference. Any opinion is an ego, and any fact can, and should be observed without personal critisism on the subject of death which is a PERSONAL MATTER.
-------------------- The Source Of The Force
Is The Power Of The Mind
NOTHING SEEK
NOTHING FIND
"if you don't like what you're doing, you can always pick up your needle and move to another groove." - timothy leary"
Anno: "-I can do anything with those clouds!"
Annos Tek
psy-harmonics
innerrave Enlightenment By Dancing
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