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Cups said:
Once you get enough perspective on your head and how emotions arise and pass away then you can do exactly that.

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deCypher said:
I realize that with enough time emotions tend to mellow out and acceptance becomes a lot easier, but it seems like circastes is advocating/living a mental state wherein he has total control over what he thinks/feels. 

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Cups said:
Once you get enough perspective on your head and how emotions arise and pass away then you can do exactly that. 

It's tough work though....  IMO Worth it because you shift from leading a reactionary life...controlled by the world around you...and start blazing your own path.

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deCypher said:
Have you encountered individuals who are capable of instantaneously altering their mental states no matter how external circumstances change them?

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You shouldn't think of it as altering how you feel irregardless of the circumstance.  Instead, think of it as not being affected by the event in the first place.

Every time you let something affect how you feel you are in essence becoming a slave to that something.  For example if you get mad when a guy cuts you off in traffic...for those 5 minutes you're mad you have, in effect, given that guy control of your life. 

How you distance yourself from this is to switch from reacting to observing.  First key to this is mindfulness.

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deCypher said:
seems like circastes is advocating/living a mental state wherein he has total control over what he thinks/feels. 

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So what?  Have you ever meditated deCypher?  If so you know that anyone can clear their mind of unwanted thoughts for a few moments at least.  With practice this can be increased to an hour or 2 or 3...So, why is it so hard to believe someone can achieve all day mindfulness?

With training humans can do amazing things.  Run 2 hour marathons, hold their breath for 6 minutes, recite pi to a thousand places.  While there are genetic/physical limitations to athletic achievement...stilling the mind is possible for any one. (as far as I know)

Don't confuse stillness with zombie like states.  You still think, the difference your thoughts are controlled.  The rambling uncontrolled negativity and anxiety is gone.  So are random off topic thoughts.

For example if you're running late to something you may notice you're late.  This is a fact and helpful.

However, you will not start a thought train like- I'm late.  Oh my god I am so late.  I'll never be there on time...everyone will be mad at me...I am so fucking stupid. etc etc etc 

That thought train starts at exaggeration and moves into speculation real quick.

While all this is well and good it simply is not enough in itself to end the reactionary mental state that caused the problems to begin with.  What mindfulness does do is present us with the chance to examine every situation free from our usual set of knee jerk responses.

I'll say upfront that I am NOT on board with everything in any branch of buddhism, but the concept of the three characteristics is a very nice one.  This is a set of aspects found in any thing or situation which you can use to examine it.  First is impermanence, next is unsatisfactoriness, and the last is no-self.

So, in the situation you described.

#1- Impermanence.  Self explanatory.  The end result for every thing is cease to be a thing.  Nothing earth shattering here.  Believing in any other outcome is delusional.

#2- Unsatisfactoriness.  Your relationship with your mother...even if every single moment was excellent...is inherently unsatisfactory because at some point it will inevitably end.  This doesn't mean that you shouldn't have or enjoy the relationship...but to believe that it will will never end is delusional. 

#3- No Self.  This gets a little tricky depending on what you believe but IMO anyone who's honest can come to understand that what we identify as ourselves, our personality, is not "real".  If you have any doubt of this consider a head injury patient who literally becomes a different "person" overnight.  Something lost so easily cannot be "self".

Extrapolating further it soon becomes clear that the "person" who you loved as your mother simply does not truly exist.  Likewise, the "person" who will be sad and miss her after she's gone doesn't truly exist either.  Once that's realized...Regardless of what you believe happens after death there is no reason to be sad. 

If you believe in nothing after death than a human body has died and nothing is lost.  If nothing is lost sadness/anger/etc is delusional.

If you believe in some sort of everlasting soul/heaven/reincarnation type thing then as the minister say- Rejoice!  Your mother's spirit is in the care of a higher power who is infinitely better at this kind of thing than you are.  The only remaining reasons to feel sad are selfish ones...and since "you" don't technically exist selfish reasons are delusional.

Last, if you believe in a unity type thing then your mother has returned to the Source and nothing is lost.  If nothing is lost sadness/anger/etc is delusional.

Sooooooooooooo....The end result of all of this is you can always see reality exactly as it truly is.

In this context negative thoughts simply do not happen.  If they do, then you are deficient in one or both areas of mindfulness and examination or "right view" as the buddhist's call it.



Thanks for giving me the chance to write this out.  Good to see I have a decent grasp of the things I think I have a decent grasp of.

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Icelander said:

Show me the man with total control?

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Give me some more time. 

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lolwut said:


Culling the emotion is just repressing it by diverting your attention. It's still there, and you can divert your attention to the point where you wont notice the diversion (or think its voluntary) but the emotions are still arising, you've just tricked yourself into not feeling them. Which in my opinion will lead to false logic/rationalisations, because you're not feeling the situation as it is - you're cutting it to fit in with your own mindset.

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Cups said:
If you believe in nothing after death than a human body has died and nothing is lost.  If nothing is lost sadness/anger/etc is delusional

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deCypher said:
how is lamenting this fact delusional?

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I would submit that lamenting any past event is delusional. 

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deCypher said:I can definitely see how using the rationalizations you listed can be helpful in overcoming sorrow though.

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circastes said:
Your emotions can be enacted with imagination. You probably know this most commonly from fantasizing about the opposite sex, or whatever - you feel love, when they're not even nearby. In the same way you can enact anger, sadness, pity, self-pity, and so on.

So that must mean when the situation actually occurs in front of your eyes, the reaction is still imagination anyway. (I don't mean to say that you're imagining it and it's not real, but rather that imagination is reality - it's all happening inside you)

So what is it that MAKES you feel that emotion regardless of your interests? Attachment and force of habit.

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I think the most interesting part of this is that you and I see emotion 99% the same but draw such different conclusions!

You see them as a necessary evil of sorts and seek to control them through further conditioning.

I see them as purely illusory and seek to control them by removing the self and seeing realty as it truly is.  Remove the fluff and all that's left is utter peace and tranquility experienced when all fear and doubt have vanished.

Either way...thoughtful and very interesting read Circastes. 

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Cups said:

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Icelander said:

Show me the man with total control?

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Give me some more time. 

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That's what we all say when we're young.