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 I_was_the_walrus
eggshells
Registered: 05/01/02
Posts: 8,851
Loc: next door
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 The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? 
#13624951 - 12/13/10 06:07 AM (2 years, 5 months ago) |
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I personally dont think its possible. If you love her and she loves you, involving other people in this equation is sure to end in butt-hurts and arguments...right? Ive barked up the tree for a 3-some for years...half joking, and she knows that. Today I half joked about it again, and she made a comment about it...like, yeah? Well who are you thinking of? I went to the bar and we got to texting. Turns out shes good for it...as am I. But then I tossed in the other dude equation. I just cant do it. I cant watch another guy stick it to the love of my life. Is that selfish?
We were talking about having an open minded sexual relationship. We want to come home to each other every night. We love each other and want to be with each other for the rest of our lives, but dont want things to end sour in sexual pitty/cheating...so maybe we should be adults and talk about it. Good idea. Try out new sexual adventures, but I cant help but think "new sexual adventures" means shes wantin some dude to stick it to her. Am I wrong? But at the same time Im a guy. I think about stickin it to other chicks all the time. Im a guy...I watch porn. She doesnt. Anything dirty shes like "eh". No 69, and no butt sex. And now she wants to explore sexually for a 3-some? Maybe Im lacking in the bed, but she loves me and...being only human, wants to "out source" for sexual pleasure? Absolutely I would love a 3-some. But the thought of another dude just kills me...
I think, well what is she gonna feel while Im sticking it to another woman? She says "itl be hard, but I love and trust you enough to let you have it." I dont know if I trust her enough to let, and watch her do another guy. Its either all or nothing.
Should I just take it?
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Edited by I_was_the_walrus (12/13/10 06:31 AM)
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Anonymous #1
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will be fun, but will never last
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 Milf Master
Stranger
Registered: 12/13/10
Posts: 4
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Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: Anonymous #1]
#13625262 - 12/13/10 10:04 AM (2 years, 5 months ago) |
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I think its HIGHLY dependent on your relationship. Ive had a threesome with my girlfriend (who I will probably marry eventually) and another girl and it was awesome. A few things that probably helped is that we were completely wasted, rolling and tripping at the time. We will probably do it again, and have been trying to set up a full swap with a couple via online means but it hasnt panned out. Im very confident in my sexual abilities, and doubt any other guy could get her where I get her. That may be part of it, so if you arent as confident about that maybe a threesome isnt for you. Get a guy whos uglier than you too, that may help.
One thing I would reccomend above a threesome is a foursome. Find another couple to have sex with, that way if another guy is fucking your girl, then your fucking his girl too. I wouldnt want two guys on my girl either without another girl to fuck.
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Anonymous #2
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You are holding a double standard that YOU need to get over.
You expect to be able to ram other chicks but its a big turn off if she's getting nailed by another guy? 
My partner and I have come across this topic heavily. She used to hate the idea.. And I used to have a double standard myself.
I'm pretty sure this has turned into a fetish for us now.. We are both comfortable with the idea of another person (of any sex) joining in with us. From what we know, we only get once chance on this earth so might as well get as full of a human experience as possible, right?
Only thing we are unsure of is how to go about doing any of it. Friends or strangers? We are settling on the idea that friends (who are obviously open-minded, and trustworthy) would probably be the best option, as we have a better understanding on their personality and their past. If it's a stranger, no clue what they are bringing into the bed.
I'm so comfortable in my relationship the idea of a gangbang turns me on. I'd have no problem with it, I'm positive my girlfriend is committed to me.
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I_was_the_walrus
eggshells
Registered: 05/01/02
Posts: 8,851
Loc: next door
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Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: Anonymous #2]
#13626250 - 12/13/10 02:20 PM (2 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
You are holding a double standard that YOU need to get over.
I know it man. I totally see my immaturity about the whole situation. As "grown up" about the whole thing as she says we should be about it, I still cant help but get a sick feeling in my stomach thinking about her with another guy...and now the image is burned into my brain. Even if we decide not to go through with it, the thought of her still secretly wanting somebody else remains, and honestly...I dont know how long this relationship could last with that insecurity.
I either need to man up and get over it somehow...or man up and start sticking it to her and her hot friends, hoping the day where I have to watch some dude stick it to her never comes.
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tymoteusz3
Registered: 09/08/10
Posts: 7,704
Last seen: 22 hours, 17 minutes
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Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: I_was_the_walrus] 2
#13626806 - 12/13/10 04:39 PM (2 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
I know it man. I totally see my immaturity about the whole situation. As "grown up" about the whole thing as she says we should be about it, I still cant help but get a sick feeling in my stomach thinking about her with another guy...and now the image is burned into my brain. Even if we decide not to go through with it, the thought of her still secretly wanting somebody else remains, and honestly...I dont know how long this relationship could last with that insecurity.
I either need to man up and get over it somehow...or man up and start sticking it to her and her hot friends, hoping the day where I have to watch some dude stick it to her never comes.
Your main problem is you are insecure about your relationship and until you come to terms with it, then you are headed for a doomed failure.
I used to be like this, pretty much the exact same scenario. Long story short that relationship didn't work out, a large part due to my insecurities. So I did some self looking, fixed the insecurity issues (remember you can have ANYONE, its them who need you not the other way around) and watched my insecurities disappear.
When I brought up the question for a threesome for my new girl and I, she was like "As long as we get to do it with a guy as well". So before I would have been like oh no. But now I was like hell yeah!  A lot of fun sexual experiences can be had in three somes. And its actually kinda hot having a gang bang on your gf with another guy. Remember its ONLY sex, and if she is gonna leave you cause she thinks he is a better lover then LET her go, she isn't really worth that much anyways if she is THAT superficial. And if she is gonna leave you for that she is gonna leave you eventually anyways.
Some advice for a fun threesome?
- Lots of MDMA, but take a viagra as well. First time with another guy and my girl, we all took 6 pills, and no erection for either of us. What a bummer. MDMA makes girls and guys HORNY as fuck in the right settings. It really is the perfect threesome drug.
- Make a guidelines of Dos and Don't s before so that no one is left hurting once it has begun.
(Stuff like use a condom for another girl / another guy use a condom, only finish in your girl, etc. Whatever you guys want)
- Yes it CAN wreck your relationship. Make sure you both are totally comfortable with the idea and totally secure.
- A mutual friend that you both are comfortable with is WAY better than a random stranger. Trust me. From experience. Random strangers 9 times out of 10 suck, are sketchy, perform for like 1 minute and then fall asleep, complain all night about how us having sex is keeping them up (but they are done and don't want to continue joining in), puke in the hotel room, try to steal your money, etc.
Also there is NOTHING sexier than talking with your girl about who you both want to fuck next :p
Threesomes 
however
Insecurity 
haha
Also: Its not that she wants someone different than you. I bet she loves you and wouldn't trade you for anything. But she has a sex fantasy that involves more than one person (don't we all).
The fact that you want to have sex with another girl besides her doesn't mean you are tired of her anymore. It just means you want to act out a fantasy with her.
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There is NOTHING better than feeling that warm dissociative fuzz creeping up your body from IM K.
Dissociative Drug Resources
The Methoxetamine Chapters - The M Hole
Beautiful M Hole report by Wiccan_Seeker
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Edited by tymoteusz3 (12/13/10 04:45 PM)
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tymoteusz3
Registered: 09/08/10
Posts: 7,704
Last seen: 22 hours, 17 minutes
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Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: tymoteusz3]
#13626836 - 12/13/10 04:46 PM (2 years, 5 months ago) |
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Ps I love these stupid frogs!!!
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There is NOTHING better than feeling that warm dissociative fuzz creeping up your body from IM K.
Dissociative Drug Resources
The Methoxetamine Chapters - The M Hole
Beautiful M Hole report by Wiccan_Seeker
The 3-Meo-PCP Chapters, Part One
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I_was_the_walrus
eggshells
Registered: 05/01/02
Posts: 8,851
Loc: next door
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Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: tymoteusz3]
#13627758 - 12/13/10 08:04 PM (2 years, 5 months ago) |
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You know what they say "advice is something you allready know the answer to, but want to hear it from somebody else."
So after cooling down and thinking about it all day, I've decided let's do it. Worst case scenario, she's growing tired of me and wants to be with somebody else. Either way there's not much I can do about it, its going to happen eventually. I might as well enjoy it while it lasts, right? Not to mention having a girlfriend that talks her friends into having sex with you instead of the other way around isn't really a bad gig. As for the other dude...well I'm gonna be fuckin some chick in front of her, so if she can handle it I should try. I don't want to be selfish. If she went out of her way to be completely honest with me instead of just getting frustrated and cheating on me, well I guess that says a lot about our relationship and how much she cares about it.
Her and her best friend are out shopping right now who I guess hasn't been layed in awhile, sooo when they get back she wants me to screw her friend.
I guess there's an upside in this situation after all.
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yogabunny
cat herder
Registered: 11/01/09
Posts: 7,770
Loc: ∞
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Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: I_was_the_walrus] 1
#13630793 - 12/14/10 12:10 PM (2 years, 5 months ago) |
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yes, you have a double standard. it's immature and can you please stop saying "sticking it to her".
eww.
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तत् त्वम् असि
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joe666
The ReverendToke DBK
Registered: 09/13/01
Posts: 18,368
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Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: yogabunny]
#13633260 - 12/14/10 08:25 PM (2 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
yogabunny said:
yes, you have a double standard. it's immature and can you please stop saying "sticking it to her".
eww.
yes, please start using drysmash her shitbox.
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"A politician is like a baby's diaper, it should be changed often and for the same reason"-Coy Turner Sr.
"what is a weed, a plant whose virtues have not yet been discovered"--Ralph Waldo Emerson
"I'm sippin Hennessy, riding on my muthafucking enemies" -Meek Mill.
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pothead_bob
Resident Pothead
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If you can't beat off and get off while fantasizing about your girl getting nailed by some other guy, I wouldn't recommend getting involved with group sex. Otherwise it will always be the elephant in the room. Looking at the time since your last post, though, it looks like it's a little too late for that. So how did that work out anyway? Did you bang her friend?
That's awesome if she really set that up for you, she must want in to the lifestyle bad.
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No knowledge can be certain, if it is not based
upon mathematics or upon some other knowledge
which is itself based upon the mathematical
sciences. -Leonardo da Vinci (1425-1519)
Speak well of your enemies. After all, you made them.
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ScavengerType
Registered: 01/25/08
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Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: pothead_bob]
#13642912 - 12/16/10 06:25 PM (2 years, 5 months ago) |
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Oh come on it could also be a matter of having a friend in need. Besides it sounds like his GF is a lot more trusting and secure in the relationship than he is.
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"Have you ever seen what happens when a grenade goes off in a school? Do you really know what you’re doing when you order shock and awe? Are you prepared to kneel beside a dying soldier and tell him why he went to Iraq, or why he went to any war?"
"The things that are done in the name of the shareholder are, to me, as terrifying as the things that are done—dare I say it—in the name of God. Montesquieu said, "There have never been so many civil wars as in the Kingdom of God." And I begin to feel that’s true. The shareholder is the excuse for everything."
- Author and former M6/M5 agent John le Carré on Democracy Now.
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I_was_the_walrus
eggshells
Registered: 05/01/02
Posts: 8,851
Loc: next door
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Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: ScavengerType]
#13645714 - 12/17/10 05:39 AM (2 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
ScavengerType said:
Oh come on it could also be a matter of having a friend in need. Besides it sounds like his GF is a lot more trusting and secure in the relationship than he is.
Definitely. No I didnt nail her friend either. I couldnt. I cant handle the thought of her with another man, and it wouldnt be fair to her if I could do that to another woman...but she cant. If I would have wanted that in the beginning or our relationship, she would have said hell no. I sacrificed a lot of my own sexuality to be with her and only her...to make it work out for both of us. I grew out of that. In my younger single days I was all for anything, but I gave that all up to be with her. To settle down. Thats what we wanted. 5 years. We were getting ready to get married, do the whole family thing. This was outa left field. Was not ready, or expecting it at all.
It got me thinking. I dont want to keep her from anything she wants to do. I cant just say no..and thats final. I feel she needs to. Whether I say no or not, thats not gonna stop her from wanting to. Im not really offended or jealous and trust her completely and love her with all my heart, but maybe we're not on the same page with where we are now, or where we want to be in the future. I suggested we take a few days off...give us time to think. Its been a very tough few days to say the least, but maybe for the better. That got me thinking even more. Im young, have no kids, no house payments, no car payments...the whole world is literally at my finger tips. Besides gas for the car/insurance and paying my phone bill....I have zero things tying me down. Maybe Im not ready to be a family man?
I figure if we are meant to be, it will happen. Maybe not now, maybe not tomorrow. As for now, Im going with the flow of life and things around me.
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Edited by I_was_the_walrus (12/17/10 06:42 AM)
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Anonymous #3
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Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? *DELETED* [Re: I_was_the_walrus]
#13645867 - 12/17/10 07:34 AM (2 years, 5 months ago) |
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Post deleted by AnonymousReason for deletion: nvm
Edited by Anonymous (12/17/10 07:42 AM)
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I_was_the_walrus
eggshells
Registered: 05/01/02
Posts: 8,851
Loc: next door
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Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: Anonymous #3]
#13645894 - 12/17/10 07:57 AM (2 years, 5 months ago) |
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Oh its out there, and we are still talking 100%. I dont hide my feelings or anything from her, and I know she does the same. Its been 3 days of straight to the point, deep confession/conversation. Theres plenty to it on both ends, most of which I wont try to explain. Couple stuff I guess. Things that arent really anybodies business but our own. Ive just included that we are currently separated as an "update" of sorts to my original thread.
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gitranduhShutr
Stranger
Registered: 10/08/10
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Last seen: 1 month, 5 days
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tell her she need buttseks from u then offer to let her wear a strap on and fuck you in the arse, it will definetly spice things up
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numonkei
Back! From thedigestive tractof dave theiguana!
Registered: 04/12/06
Posts: 2,473
Loc: A Tree
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Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: gitranduhShutr]
#13646401 - 12/17/10 12:06 PM (2 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
We were talking about having an open minded sexual relationship. We want to come home to each other every night. We love each other and want to be with each other for the rest of our lives, but dont want things to end sour in sexual pitty/cheating...so maybe we should be adults and talk about it. Good idea. Try out new sexual adventures, but I cant help but think "new sexual adventures" means shes wantin some dude to stick it to her. Am I wrong?
Nope, you're dead on homie.
If you can't handle it, don't get any more involved. Good luck.
~Monk
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Anonymous #4
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Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: numonkei]
#13651142 - 12/18/10 12:25 PM (2 years, 5 months ago) |
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I really want to have a threesome but I am convinced the only way it will work is if it's three people not involved with each other in a relationship. Or else if you're the stranger tagging along with a couple and can screw off after.
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Hologram
BoxGobbler
Registered: 12/12/09
Posts: 16,793
Loc:
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Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: Anonymous #2]
#13651552 - 12/18/10 02:06 PM (2 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said:
You are holding a double standard that YOU need to get over.
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dont listen to this nonsense
you are a man and u want to have another wwoman present.
find a bi chick or dont do it. fuck lettin some other dude stick it to ur girl
fuck that
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NEVER FORGET
seriously.
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Shineonu
I used to trip like fuck!
Registered: 12/20/10
Posts: 225
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
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Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: Hologram]
#13661552 - 12/20/10 06:15 PM (2 years, 5 months ago) |
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If you love someone you wouldn't want to share. I cant think of anything worse than watching some guy fuck my girl, and equally I know she would feel the same, I don't get the swinging and threesomes and stuff, just not my cup of tea...
However, would have liked to have seen what it felt like when I was younger n more liberated to have two ladies munching on my nuts 
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What I saw was everything that could never be described. My life, my world, everything was nothing, no fear no fun no enlightenment,space, colours, visions it all led to one place... inside and the answer I had always wanted. The answer is not there,
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