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ok well ive had one gf back in 8th grade, which lasted fairly long for being 13 year olds, but thats it. ive never been further than making out and have only made out with that one girl. and lately, nothing else has been on my mind and its driving me insane.
now i dont think im ugly, but i definitely dont have any confidence in my appearance. im content with my build, average height and weight, but i just cant get over my self consciousness about dumb shit like my orange hair. im also pretty socially awkward/anxious and kinda lack enthusiasm, which im sure is largely due to the fact that i cant help but sulk in my depression all the time. and i tend to feel like i just never have anything interesting to add to a conversation, let alone be the driving force of one in a one-on-one situation with a girl. im also confused as shit and dont know what the fuck i even want to do with my life, which would be pretty uninteresting and embarrassing to admit when trying to meet a girl.
im in college so there are definitely girls around, but not really in my classes (engineering ugh) and i dont even really know where else id meet a girl, or even if i did, i know i wouldnt even have the confidence to approach her. and if i somehow grew the balls to walk up to her, im positive shed be able to sense my anxiety and nervousness and automatically be turned off. another thing is that im sure my daily pot smoking would turn a lot of girls off as well. i know im a smart, interesting, witty guy but i just dont know how to portray that and im starting to feel pretty hopeless. i just need to get laid already holy shit.
I'll let you in a secret: nobody really knows how 'desirable' you are. Your attitude tells them that. Looks are rarely a big deal if your in shape and clean (shower you hog).
I think I lost my virginity when I was 19 (or 18, forget). I didn't have much experience with girls or anything- first real girlfriend was senior prom date.
I went to colleg and like you was in a science-oriented major with few women (and those there were were nice girls but a bit... large).
If you go out and get social, you'll get confidence, and things will happen. Your lack of confidence is really your only limitation. Girls and Guys like to be with someone who's fun and cool to hang out with- and that person is someone who loves themselves, is a nicer person, and isn't all worried about what other people think of them et cet.
Once you get some confidence things will happen. Just start showing up at parties and crap. You'll get your heart broken in no time, be terribly depressed, get better, and finally be able to deal with girls and have a normal relationship
Do what you can to get laid ONCE. Be relentless and don't worry about rejection, its the hard part, but try going for girls you don't give a shit about. Once you get over your first time you should have more confidence in yourself and be able to approach girls you are actually attracted to.
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Anonymous #1
Re: another 18 year old virgin [Re: mrgibblet] #13555374 - 11/29/10 01:26 AM (2 years, 5 months ago)
Quote: mrgibblet said: Try and get a stoner girl and toke with her, see where it goes from there.
this is what i would like to do. i just dont know how to find/chill with that stoner girl.
and thanks johnm (and i shower everyday and keep clean dont worry lol)
i know confidence is my issue. its just hard to gain confidence without any reinforcement. like girls just dont really show me much attention or tell me im cute or anything so i just figure i must not be very desirable and i cant get outta that kind of thinking.
also i cant even really get into the parties around here since im just a freshman guy, its lame.
Quote: mrgibblet said: Try and get a stoner girl and toke with her, see where it goes from there.
this is what i would like to do. i just dont know how to find/chill with that stoner girl.
and thanks johnm (and i shower everyday and keep clean dont worry lol)
i know confidence is my issue. its just hard to gain confidence without any reinforcement. like girls just dont really show me much attention or tell me im cute or anything so i just figure i must not be very desirable and i cant get outta that kind of thinking.
also i cant even really get into the parties around here since im just a freshman guy, its lame.
The important thing is to smile a lot and be friendly. If you have a facebook account or something similar that can be helpful in meeting people. I met my boyfriend through myspace and we've been together about 5 years now. He has red hair too, so don't think that red hair is something you need to be self-conscious about. As everyone has already said, confidence is key but it's definitely a lot easier to say than it is to do. Just keep a good attitude and everything will work out with you . Good luck!
-------------------- Leaving the shroomery forever
Science girls are where it's at when they are cute. When I was in undergrad and out of a LTR, i found this out. Just have confidence and don't be nerdy or talk about your science crap, they just want to be fucked, not instructed on physics.
-------------------- Staunch supporter of spontaneous generation
Quote: mrgibblet said: Try and get a stoner girl and toke with her, see where it goes from there.
this is what i would like to do. i just dont know how to find/chill with that stoner girl.
and thanks johnm (and i shower everyday and keep clean dont worry lol)
i know confidence is my issue. its just hard to gain confidence without any reinforcement. like girls just dont really show me much attention or tell me im cute or anything so i just figure i must not be very desirable and i cant get outta that kind of thinking.
also i cant even really get into the parties around here since im just a freshman guy, its lame.
Hmm, what do you mean? Is your school one of those frat-only type of things where the frat scene is on campus and pretty much all there is (on-campus frats who are terrified of the school or the cops- my school has mostly off-campus frats who could give a fuck who comes in generally)
I would really advise against the stoner thing man. This may be me projecting, as I've never been with a girl into illegal drugs, but it seems looking for a particular thing is bound to fail. Relationships have nothing to do with drugs, and if they do that's a good sign its crap, imo
Look for someone your attracted to and like. Then see what happens. Having a checklist isn't a good way to go about this, beause its difficult to reduce compatibility to crap like that (barring those with major hangups, like religious folks or people in a cult or something).
The important thing is to get confident and have fun. A relationship should be fun, and going about his by looking for particular traits seems entirely strange to me. Your not buying a car here, man.
Quote: mrgibblet said: Try and get a stoner girl and toke with her, see where it goes from there.
this is what i would like to do. i just dont know how to find/chill with that stoner girl.
and thanks johnm (and i shower everyday and keep clean dont worry lol)
i know confidence is my issue. its just hard to gain confidence without any reinforcement. like girls just dont really show me much attention or tell me im cute or anything so i just figure i must not be very desirable and i cant get outta that kind of thinking.
also i cant even really get into the parties around here since im just a freshman guy, its lame.
I would suggest that you make a facebook, add a bunch of girls and a bunch of your friends, and talk to the girls and shit. IF you know a girl that smokes, and you have weed, there's no way she will turn down getting smoked out. Just find a girl that loves to smoke man! Smoke her out with some dank bud, and just DON'T FUCKING CARE about what you look like or how stupid you may sound, just talk as if she was a normal person, joke around with her and what not who knows, it will work man.
You can joke around with girls its not like saying one wrong thing is going to make them automatically dislike you, don't be scared. Just be yourself.
--------------------
"Anxiety doesn't exist. It's just your inner brain telling you that you're a pussy."
jokes
Edited by mrgibblet (11/30/10 03:42 AM)
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Anonymous #1
Re: another 18 year old virgin [Re: mrgibblet] #13561081 - 11/30/10 04:36 AM (2 years, 5 months ago)
i have a facebook and a bunch of friends but i just moved away to college and dont have any friends here. it fuckin sucks.
so how am i supposed to meet girls? if some cute girl is eating by herself, do i just sit down next to her, introduce myself, and start talking? that just seems so weird and intrusive. but idk where the hell else im supposed to meet em. like seriously, the guy to girl ratio in my classes is like 5:1, and the nonsmoker to smoker ratio is probably just as bad if not worse. and that doesnt even take looks or personality into the equation. ugh.
Quote: Anonymous said: i have a facebook and a bunch of friends but i just moved away to college and dont have any friends here. it fuckin sucks.
so how am i supposed to meet girls? if some cute girl is eating by herself, do i just sit down next to her, introduce myself, and start talking? that just seems so weird and intrusive. but idk where the hell else im supposed to meet em. like seriously, the guy to girl ratio in my classes is like 5:1, and the nonsmoker to smoker ratio is probably just as bad if not worse. and that doesnt even take looks or personality into the equation. ugh.
That's what I would do, but I'm a G.
-------------------- "I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"
Dude, for real, find a stoner chick. Start up the conversation like, "Hey, you smoke weed?" if she says yeah, say something along the lines of "We should totally smoke together one day." If she seems like she's down for it just be like "Want to hotbox my car right now?" If she says yeah, see what happens, you never know. But, that's how you can build a relationship with her.
The first time I had sex, I was 16, I was with the girl I'm with now. We used to trip out on DXM together all the time. I started crushing on her pretty hard. One night I walk up to the park, and she's drunk, high, and on xanax. The next thing I know she pulls me into the bathroom, and we started fucking. We haven't stopped since.
Just start getting fucked up together, and start chillin alot. If you notice that she's starting to freak out, or get scared just put your arm around her and be like "It's okay, I'm here.".
Try it bro.
--------------------
Have any spare Bitcoins you'd like to give to another traveler?
It'd be appreciated! Peace, Love, and Light your way.
BTC Address: 1NYs5QwPm6EAWEXkdQd7rLiSdcTiPpW2Yo
Just start getting fucked up together, and start chillin alot. If you notice that she's starting to freak out, or get scared just put your arm around her and be like "It's okay, I'm here.".
Try it bro.
Shit that stuff works on a guy too bro. It's a real good bonding experience haha
OP find some guys do smoke with, ya can make some friends there that way toooo
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Anonymous #2
Re: another 18 year old virgin [Re: AndyRawrs] #13585141 - 12/05/10 12:08 PM (2 years, 5 months ago)
Didn't read the whole thread, but just wanted to say don't be self conscious about having orange hair. That's stupid. My bf has orange hair, and I personally love it. It's so much more beautiful than regular dull looking brown hair. Plus his hair is like a mane. He's like a goddamn lion which is pretty badass.
Plus the coolest girls care more about personality than looks anyway. As long as you're a pretty normal person, you have nothing to be self conscious about because everyone has their quirks. I think the easiest thing to do would be to go for the girls that seem self conscious themselves, and instead of worrying about yourself feeling comfortable in a social situation, worry about making them feel comfortable in a social situation and they'll probably like you. If a girl went up to you, started talking to you in a way that you were comfortable talking to her, you'd probably like her, no?
Quote: Anonymous said: If a girl went up to you, started talking to you in a way that you were comfortable talking to her, you'd probably like her, no?
I'd flip out and start blowing my rape whistle.
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Anonymous #3
Re: another 18 year old virgin [Re: johnm214] #13585207 - 12/05/10 12:32 PM (2 years, 5 months ago)
Yeah..I felt that way when I was 18. And 17. And 16. And now at 19.
It's a vicious cycle, isn't it...you have to have confidence to be attractive, but where is confidence supposed to come from? My right hand? YOUR right hand? It's a mystery. So I drink heavily, and go into the woods and yell my ass off from time to time.
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(and i shower everyday and keep clean dont worry lol)
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