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Anonymous #1
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 Sex or the lack thereof 
#13267446 - 09/30/10 12:34 AM (2 years, 7 months ago) |
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I was browsing through the forum for information regarding...well you know, and got caught up looking at the other topics as well. Seeing that this a very supportive and helpful community, I figured I'd get something off my chest and maybe get some useful advice in the process.
I'm a 21 year old guy who's in his senior year of college. The only time I've had sex was a bit over two years ago and I count the number of hand/blow jobs I've gotten on my hands (well maybe...I haven't kept a tally). I think I'm a pretty good looking guy and have a good personality. I've had girls who've been almost crazy about me before and I've dated, but for various reasons my sexual life is right about nonexistent.
For a while it wasn't a big deal and sex was something I could wait patiently for. However, recently I've been feeling, for lack of a better term, hornier than a rabbit on coke. The problem is that after being so far removed from sex and the pursuit of it, I feel like (as said in the 40 year old virgin) I'm "putting the pussy on a pedestal."
In the past I've had the opportunity to have sex or sex-like fun. A couple years ago (shortly after losing my virginity), I had a girlfriend who was crazy about me (...and crazy in general, but that's a different story). However, she was a virgin and wanted to take it slow, so I let it go waaaaaaay too slow. I broke up with her before anything like sex happened.
I've been at parties where girls were pretty much dragging me to their bedrooms. However, I felt as if I were using them for being drunk (although I was as well) and so I didn't follow through on sex.
I was with a girl for a couple months recently and I had some action there, but for whatever reason, sex just seemed so far removed from anything we'd do.
I feel like I'm the only one who's not getting laid in college and with the trend of things, I'll be like Steve Carrell in the 40 Year Old Virgin (except not so famous). This sexual repression is starting to drive me nuts and I've repressed myself for so long that I don't even know how to put sex into perspective.
Any advice?
Thanks
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 whitelight7
Sr.
 
Registered: 02/17/09
Posts: 1,243
Loc: Washington 
Last seen: 7 months, 6 days
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Two things man.
One, do not feel bad about not wanting to fuck some drunk girl at a party. I stopped doing that crap in high school 6 years ago.
Two, you sound like the kind of person who is probably not going to have too many partners in their life because, for you, sex is a little more serious than our society thinks and it will most likely be with almost exclusively gf's.
Two more things,
One, does not sound like your putting the pussy on a pedestal, sounds more like your putting it in proper respect.
Two, stop getting sidetracked when studying mycology here so you can grow some good mushrooms!
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Staunch supporter of spontaneous generation
 
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Anonymous #1
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Hey,
I appreciate that. You know, you're right. It's easy to forget what we value when our surroundings believe in something different. Sex is something absolutely beautiful. It's the physical manifestation of the love between lovers. Why tarnish it on some drunk chick or feel guilty by getting in a purely platonic relationship? I'm sure I'll find someone soon enough. Thanks for the advice.
Also, I checked out your profile page and noticed your quote from Kung Fu Panda. Nice! I quote that all the time. It's originally by some random writer, but it's much more fun to give Master Oogway, the wise kung-fu master tortoise, credit for it.
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PDU
travel kid vs.amerika
Registered: 12/04/02
Posts: 9,517
Loc: beautiful BC
Last seen: 1 day, 14 hours
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Quote:
Anonymous said:
I'm sure I'll find someone soon enough.
I am of the same mindset as you when it comes to not using girls, or having meaningless hook ups. Unfortunately, because of this, you will have less sex than your peers. However, i believe, that ultimately - having reverence for the act and the partnership, you will end up happier and more fulfilled in the end.
It will happen when it happens, there's no point in trying to force it. Just act natural and if you have to hold out for awhile, so be it.
Best advice if your trying to "make it happen" is ... put yourself in a situation where it could happen, and put your emotional self out there. Take a chance ...
I like to date girls i am friends with first... No way i'd fuck a stranger.
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GO OUTSIDE.
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Ginseng1
Elegant Universe
Registered: 09/02/04
Posts: 3,309
Last seen: 7 months, 9 days
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Re: Sex or the lack thereof [Re: PDU]
#13284045 - 10/03/10 03:02 PM (2 years, 7 months ago) |
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Yea I share some of you OP. I'd say just take it ease for now and don't be hard on yourself, especially if you aren't currently getting close to anyone. If you are, beware the pitfalls of the ego.
I've had sex with oh lets say.. ~15 girls. About only 4 or 5 of them multiple times (no more than 5 or so times), and never have actually had a sexual partner. So I'm really not so experience and I can still find myself having embarrassing sex moments., though I've had great sex, I'm still not consistent by any means.
I've been pretty scattered all my life and have over-looked numerous opportunities to make something 'good' happen.
I think because of my lack of inner peace it has robbed me of happiness, and I think being mildly neurotic has just always gotten in the way due to mind-fucking insecurities and scattered interests.
I've blown way too many great opportunities and now I feel like all this shit has become ingrained habits in my psyche.
I don't want just any girlfriend for the sake of fucking because if I'm not 'there', it's not fair to the other. At the same time, when I develop a strong physical and emotional attraction for someone then I just lose perspective, fall of balance, become insecure and angry.
Anyway, I think what is needed is true inner peace.
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Flowing through beginningless time since time without beginning...
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akira_akuma
Recalcitrant
Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 27,508
Loc: current position: in Cana...
Last seen: 7 hours, 14 minutes
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Quote:
whitelight7 said:
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Two, stop getting sidetracked when studying mycology here so you can grow some good mushrooms!
 awesome post
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