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 KingEmblem
Cannaisseur
 
Registered: 03/27/10
Posts: 871
Loc: LA
Last seen: 30 days, 23 hours
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 Bad trips seem impossible
#12988573 - 08/01/10 11:39 PM (1 year, 9 months ago) |
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I don't really know how to appropriately title this thread, but it seems to me like it's REALLY hard to have a bad trip on any standard psychedelic (not deliriants/dissociatives, I mean).
Let me first start by explaining the story of my first "bad" trip, and my last trip in general, 2 nights ago. I had bought some Hawaiian Baby Woodrose seeds (don't let anybody tell you these don't work) , a weaker variety that also cost less (not Morning Glories). While 5-10 HWBR seeds is enough to make you trip, these are weaker, so my first active dose of them I ground up 40 and soaked them in cold water and drank the whole disgusting mixture. I had a very long, whole day level 3 trip. It was bland color wise but a very nice, not too strong trip. Now, imagine my surprise when I take my last remaining 25 seeds and try eating them the old fashioned way - I chewed up all 25 to a fine mush and let them sit in my mouth for 5 minutes, until they had no more flavor, then swallowed the pulp. I figured that since LSA is related to acid, maybe one just needs to absorb the LSA through the salivary glands.
I think I was right. I didn't expect it but I started tripping HARD. Like completely gone, melted level 5 uncontrollable experience. This isn't a trip report but I in no way expected to trip this hard, in fact I expected a lighter trip than the 40 seed trip. Thankfully I've already tripped this hard on mushrooms before, so I had experience...but still, the first part of the peak was a horrifying trip. I thought every single bad thought possible, saw every single bad memory and experience I've had, seemingly all on top of each other at the same time since I had lost my concept of time. Somehow I got onto the Shroomery (this is strange since I typically remember everything I actually DO during a trip) and it was already magically on a thread called "Melting sensation" and I read it and EVERYTHING in the thread was directly and EXACTLY related to what I was experiencing, all 6 posts seemed like direct advice meant for me to read, especially since I didn't even seemingly click on that thread.
I had watched the Prestige earlier and Shutter Island the day before and since I didn't expect to trip this hard I was also watching Waterworld with my sister in the room. It was a very loud and violent movie and it scared me but I couldn't get out of the room because there was nowhere else to go except maybe the bathroom and I didn't want to sit there tripping this hard. The Prestige and Shutter Island had some gruesome stuff and on top of that both movies were kind of trippy in their own right, although not good trip stuff. So there I was writhing around having a bad trip, I thought. I was wondering how this happened and I was completely gone, seeing future scenes such as me telling somebody else that I knew psychedelics were bad and that I shouldn't have tripped, and to me these seemed completely convincing and also that they've already happened. I had no more eyes open or closed, just a scene melting directly into another scene on top of another scene, with any rational thought I tried to form being washed away by the next scene or visual and then some horrible sinking feeling of whatever I was imagining already happening, what I was seeing already happened and therefore I could only lay there and watch. In my head I kept telling my sister to turn off the movie but I knew I wasn't going to tell her and at this point I was third person.
Eventually the Shroomery post also kept making its way into my head and the rational thoughts were trying to calm me down but I couldn't do it, the thoughts kept getting cut off and it wasn't even language most of the time. I saw every gruesome scene of anything I've ever seen, fiction or reality, all bad feelings at once, I imagined me doing horrible things to my family and people I know and ALWAYS accompanied by the feeling of "wow, I can't stop this, it's already happened." I even kept getting the thought that what I'm experience right now is just the precursor to me doing horrible things and people telling me tomorrow morning what I did, and to me this already happened so this trip couldn't get better. Eventually though, after bad tripping for a long time, but what in reality was only about a half an hour, the rationalizing in my head won, I realized that just like I had read in the thread, feeling this far gone on psychedelics is the "goal." That "wow, I can't stop this, it's already happened." feeling I believe was just the psychedelics telling me that I no longer have control of my mind, that I really do need to let go and surrender to the trip...almost instantly my trip zoomed past bad trip, all the way to amazing, euphoric, transcendent trip. I went even farther gone, surrendering my mind to the complete melting of consciousness and my frame of reference, my ego. I felt the most enlightened feeling possible, the feeling of eternity/infinity where everything has already happened and is happening at the same time, when you feel every single thought at the same time, contradicting each other but not yourself because you no longer have a self. I saw the end of everything. I was now just a being experiencing, no longer rationalizing and grasping for control. My ego was shattered, no longer trying to take hold of the situation.
The whole peak lasted only 2 hours, surprisingly, but it felt like MUCH longer. The bad trip was half an hour and the good trip an hour and a half. That was the biggest time dilation I've felt on psychedelics by far. My equivalent shroom trip lasted longer but didn't feel as long. If I had known nothing about psychedelics, I might have stayed in that bad trip. I just don't see how any experienced tripper can have a bad trip all the way through, is the point of the thread. Or at least I don't see how I could have a bad trip. I didn't even need to take control, me taking control was causing the bad trip, when I let go of the ego it was immediately a good trip, because I knew what was happening to me.
How do bad trips happen for you? Or are you like me and have never had a bad trip?
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triptych
Edited by KingEmblem (08/01/10 11:56 PM)
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kennedy
Registered: 02/11/09
Posts: 318
Last seen: 20 minutes, 58 seconds
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Re: Bad trips seem impossible [Re: KingEmblem]
#12989102 - 08/02/10 02:38 AM (1 year, 9 months ago) |
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I have had bad trips because my mind gets so blended up that I can't distinguish memories and thoughts from actual present experience. I hardly consider it a bad trip unless I can't function and become confused to the point of not knowing where I am, what day it is, who I am, why I am having such an experience and can hardly recall any aspect of my usual life.
It happens to me when I am right on the edge of dissolving completely but still have enough of a sense of myself to be worried.
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Libertin
Absurdist
Registered: 10/07/09
Posts: 776
Last seen: 1 month, 2 days
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Re: Bad trips seem impossible [Re: kennedy]
#12989297 - 08/02/10 04:13 AM (1 year, 9 months ago) |
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Very interesting read. I think I understand much of what you're saying.
First off I'll mention that this refers to my experiences with mushrooms only. I've had negative and difficult moments in the trip but I've never condemned a single experience as a 'bad trip'. An unpleasant experience usually teaches me something so, ultimately, I see it all as positive. These difficult experiences happen when personal issues come up in the trip. Am I doing the right thing with my life? Am I a failure? Etc. Also I might experience guilt and the feeling that I'm being judged for living my life the way I do. But these difficulties only last for 1/2 of the trip at the most. After the peak, the second half of the trip is always accompanied by beautiful feelings of peace and calmness. As the language forming mechanisms of my brain recover I begin to philosophize in a somewhat frenzied manner. It becomes less personal and I make insights about society and humanity. I really enjoy this part of the trip.
So in summary, I think I never really have a bad trip either. The bad parts don't last for the whole trip, and those are probably the most rewarding parts too.
By the way, I started the Melting sensation thread to which you refer. I'm glad you could relate to it. 
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I didn't choose it.
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Crumpet
gohst ranger
Registered: 04/21/10
Posts: 803
Loc: Australia 
Last seen: 12 days, 7 hours
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Re: Bad trips seem impossible [Re: kennedy]
#12989307 - 08/02/10 04:26 AM (1 year, 9 months ago) |
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Hey bro, nice trip story. It's fun scarifying yourself aye.
I like how you said you felt like those messages were meant for you, it happened to me on my first trip, i thought that the songs on the radio were giving me messages directly for me, freaked me out the next week when i heard the same songs again. One of them especially scared me while i was working, and i had the worst anxiety attack ever, the only one ever infact. I know that won't happen again, but I've manifested a love for scarifying myself. It's fun.
On my last trip I was begging that 'it', (whatever 'it' was) wouldn't hurt me, all alone in the bush by a fire on the full moon.
Its the scary things that are the most rewarding afterwards, and when that 'enlightening' feeling finally comes later in the trip, it makes that more rewarding also.
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