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 Macee
Stranger
Registered: 06/14/10
Posts: 26
Last seen: 9 months, 5 days
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 First time...and alone + encounter with mum 
#12750671 - 06/16/10 12:39 AM (1 year, 11 months ago) |
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So i recently picked some Psilocybe subaeruginosa and thought id have a level 2 trip, just to see what its like, i was not expecting it to be as intense as it was.
at 10:20pm i consumed 4 medium sized shrooms (2-3cm caps) whilst walking to a friends house to deliver his 3 shrooms that he wanted. We couldn't trip together due to parents and whatnot.
I should mention that I was actually really pissed off that day for no reason, teenage emotions i guess, but that passed as fast as it came on and i was feeling rather happy so I took the few shrooms.
so anyway I was back at home and started feeling the effects at around 11:00-11:10pm, i was rather enjoying it, for the next 30 minutes just messing around with a massive grin on my face the whole time, everything was funny and i was rather enjoying it. at around 11:30 or so I started experiencing minor visuals which was so exciting because i have never tripped before.
I remember sitting there and closing my eyes, this weird feeling came on and it felt like my mind was zooming 1000km/h into my conscience it was very weird, freaked me out a little bit but didnt think much of it, I turned the lamp off and took photos of myself, i was in my own world it felt so weird, but good, turned the lampo back on because it was getting boring, Then I started exploring because it was getting a bit to intense just sitting there. I was looking in the mirror watching my skin crawl over my face until I hear my mum calling my name, i thought I was just tripping until she called out again, I thought I was done for, luckily she only saw me from 10 metres away and asked me to turn the heater off so I did.
However that dampened my mood and suddenly things wernt so funny, i started feeling bad but distracted myself by watching the patterns of my floor and kitchen table move and levitate. I explored a little bit more.
At about 12:40am - T+2.20
I decided to go to my bedroom to avoid any run ins with my parents. This is where it felt like it turned from a level 2 trip into a level 3 trip. justting laying there i 'submerged?' into the trip, and I started to get heaps of open eye visuals, and they were getting extremely intense, well for a first time tripper that was, walls were closing in that didn't really freak me out but i was watching an almost 3D kaleidoscope on the ceiling. watching the light coming from my lamp turn red and then green, and watching the patterns on my curtains move around.
As it was getting intense that feeling that overtook me earlier came back, my mind moving at jet speed, i was scared of that feeling by now and wanted to avoid it, having read countless trip reports that said just go with it and it will be fine, I was scared that I would get a bad trip by going with it as every instinct in my body was telling me not to, was that the beginnings of ego death? I don't know, but i was fighting it.
I started to get up and move around in an effort to bring the trip down to a level 2 again, but it was much harder, at 1pm i was pacing my room for what seemed like an hour,but it was only 5 minutes, trying to fend off the negative thoughts, during the pacing I realized how big the emotional wall I had is, and how much my family and friends mean to me and how I treat people like dirt sometimes, how hate is pointless -it does nothing good, I don't think the trip was strong enough to change me for good, but I can certainly work on it.
It was a bad trip, but not in the sense of despair or emotional torture, in the sense that i was trying to stop that kind of bad trip coming, at this point I wanted it to end, so I consumed 20mg Diazapam, I only meant to consume 10mg but I was so uncoordinated that i just shoved them all into my mouth and ate them. Went back into my room and 5 minutes later was calmer, enjoying the square patterns of my wardrobe, 20 minutes after that the trip was almost completely gone, patterns were still moving if I looked at them hard enough. and then went to sleep
I am regretful that I stopped the mind warp thing, since I KNOW its a drug and it will ware off, but I was just that scared of it...I couldn't go through with it.
Next time, I will be doing it with other people, and make sure no parents are around, it was silly of me and I thought it wouldnt have been that harsh but I learned from it, not as much as some other people who change their life or have massive epiphanies.
It hasn't scared me off, I am actually more curious about it now.
Hope I can get some comments as I am wondering if anyone else has experience that mind warp thing, im sorry if its not a good description but it is extremely hard to describe.
Thanks for reading. 
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vodoumystik
Mystik
Registered: 09/30/09
Posts: 115
Last seen: 4 months, 13 days
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Re: First time...and alone + encounter with mum [Re: Macee]
#12753911 - 06/16/10 04:47 PM (1 year, 11 months ago) |
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Good post man, ride with it next time.
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"spirits surround me"
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LazyCrash
I like gas.
Registered: 07/02/05
Posts: 896
Loc: Detroit, what?
Last seen: 1 year, 3 months
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Re: First time...and alone + encounter with mum [Re: vodoumystik]
#12755399 - 06/16/10 09:13 PM (1 year, 11 months ago) |
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Yeah man, thats all pretty regular. You will end up thinking about serious stuff in your life at some point during any trip, especially if you are alone. The sooner you make amends with yourself and answer your own questions on how you can be a better person, the sooner you can get back to the shits and giggles. No pain, no gain. Its not ALL fun and games, but the sooner you work out the skeletons, the sooner you get back to the games.
Even if its not all about the fun and games, getting past thinking about your own issues will let you start thinking about things in the bigger picture like society, spirituality, and humanity in general, which can be enjoyable in itself.
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Edited by LazyCrash (06/16/10 09:14 PM)
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Macee
Stranger
Registered: 06/14/10
Posts: 26
Last seen: 9 months, 5 days
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Re: First time...and alone + encounter with mum [Re: LazyCrash]
#12756960 - 06/17/10 06:12 AM (1 year, 11 months ago) |
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Yeah Ive read countless trip reports and have always knew going along with it - even if its bad is the best thing to do. But I just couldnt, i guess next time ill just have to force myself
The realizations wernt very deep since I always knew those things, just didnt think about it often.
I guess I was just scared of ending up in the corner of my room in the fetal position haha.
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bleedglory
Stranger
Registered: 12/19/09
Posts: 140
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
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Re: First time...and alone + encounter with mum [Re: Macee]
#12783142 - 06/22/10 05:34 AM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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Hey, nice report.
You encountered your mom but at least she didn't know you were tripping!
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"All tyranny needs to gain a foothold is for people of good conscience to remain silent." - Thomas Jefferson
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