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 QuantumMeltdown
Space Monkey
 
Registered: 10/31/01
Posts: 4,934
Loc: Ft. Lauderdale, FL
Last seen: 1 year, 3 months
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 Re: Girlfriend's brother committed suicide yesterday... what types of counseling available?  [Re: MushroomTrip]
#11903891 - 01/26/10 09:22 AM (3 years, 3 months ago) |
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that might be neglect but he said abuse
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 Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 79,858
Loc: underbelly
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Re: Girlfriend's brother committed suicide yesterday... what types of counseling available? [Re: QuantumMeltdown]
#11904127 - 01/26/10 11:01 AM (3 years, 3 months ago) |
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Neglect is abuse. It's emotional abuse. I'm amazed that you think that someone in his condition just "got that way". 
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"Hang on tightly, let go lightly" -anonymous
“under the present brutal and primitive conditions on this planet, every person you meet should be regarded as one of the walking wounded. we have never seen a man or woman not slightly deranged by either anxiety or grief. we have never seen a totally sane human being.”
― Robert Anton Wilson
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snotreally
Stranger
Registered: 01/25/10
Posts: 3
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
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Re: Girlfriend's brother committed suicide yesterday... what types of counseling available? [Re: Icelander]
#11904279 - 01/26/10 11:34 AM (3 years, 3 months ago) |
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Mushroom tip,
They are saying that they are seeing depression in young children and that MRI's point out a difference between the connections from the frontal cortex to the limbic system.
It may depend on who paid for the grant, but personally I've never blamed my parents for my issues (most people raise their kids the best they know how, they are just people).
How is it that GF is ok and her brother was totally messed up?
I'll grant you nature v nurture might be about 50/50, but she grew up in the same household right?
Capt. Ahab has every right to be angry right now. I think it's a natural reaction.
I agree with whoever said don't add to GF's burden right now if you can help it. They're still her parents.
That's just how I see it.
Edited by snotreally (01/26/10 11:36 AM)
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Ginseng1
Elegant Universe
Registered: 09/02/04
Posts: 3,309
Last seen: 7 months, 9 days
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Re: Girlfriend's brother committed suicide yesterday... what types of counseling available? [Re: CaptainAhab]
#11904578 - 01/26/10 12:39 PM (3 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
CaptainAhab said:
You can burn in hell if you think that his family couldn't have done more.
Whoa, dude, you are so upset!
Ever heard of free-will? Nobody here is to blame.
The kid did what he did and was at choice all along the way. Yes, help might have saved his life, but if he couldn't do it on his own it's not like he had the will in the first place. A simple "Mom, dad, I have serious problems and I'm scared..." could have been a first step.
He didn't even leave a suicide note?
Yea, you know what, I think if there is anybody that should burn is hell is - nobody.
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Flowing through beginningless time since time without beginning...
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MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs
 
Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,348
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 13 days, 9 hours
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Re: Girlfriend's brother committed suicide yesterday... what types of counseling available? [Re: snotreally]
#11904759 - 01/26/10 01:18 PM (3 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
snotreally said:
Mushroom tip,
They are saying that they are seeing depression in young children and that MRI's point out a difference between the connections from the frontal cortex to the limbic system.
I don't see what this necessarily has to do with this subject, but you're assuming that the kid was depressed from childhood, and that it was because of genetic reasons.
Genes might play a role, but what plays an even bigger role is one's day to day life, and especially one's childhood, since a person is deeply impressionable in their first years of life. Now, if his parents didn't know how to raise him, it only makes sense that his life was a mess from the start, and that in time it even got worse. Even if he was predisposed to depression, it's still the parent's fault that they didn't do anything about it, and that they just let it aggravate.
Quote:
It may depend on who paid for the grant, but personally I've never blamed my parents for my issues (most people raise their kids the best they know how, they are just people).
How does your decision reflect on this particular case?
Parents are very responsible for how their kids turn out, even if they don't want to assume any responsibility.
Yes, he was "grown-up", but big part of his personality was the result of all those years in which he was raised by his parents.
Quote:
How is it that GF is ok and her brother was totally messed up?
On which facts do you base this judgment? Only in the fact that she didn't kill herself? This doesn't mean that she isn't messed up, maybe even more than her brother. Staying alive doesn't say anything about one's mental health, in the same way in which suicide doesn't mean that the person who committed it was fucked up.
Quote:
I'll grant you nature v nurture might be about 50/50, but she grew up in the same household right?
Yeah, like there aren't any parents who treat their kids different, and even openly admit to hate one, while adoring the other.
Besides, a good parent is able to recognize even from an early age the genetic predispositions of their kids, and then they can develop a plan about how to raise and educate them, which will perfectly fit their nature.
Quote:
Capt. Ahab has every right to be angry right now. I think it's a natural reaction.
I agree with whoever said don't add to GF's burden right now if you can help it. They're still her parents.
So what if they're still her parents?
Should she continue a relation with them even if it does her more harm then good?
Maybe now it's the best time for her to think about what she needs, and how being raised by her parents has affected her.
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All this time I've loved you
And never known your face
All this time I've missed you
And searched this human race
Here is true peace
Here my heart knows calm
Safe in your soul
Bathed in your sighs
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Hologram
BoxGobbler
Registered: 12/12/09
Posts: 16,793
Loc: 
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Re: Girlfriend's brother committed suicide yesterday... what types of counseling available? [Re: MushroomTrip]
#11904797 - 01/26/10 01:26 PM (3 years, 3 months ago) |
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Only time will heal such a terrible tragedy.
I wish the best to Ryan in his journey through the cosmos
May he finally be at peace 
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NEVER FORGET
seriously.
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 79,858
Loc: underbelly
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Re: Girlfriend's brother committed suicide yesterday... what types of counseling available? [Re: MushroomTrip]
#11905014 - 01/26/10 02:15 PM (3 years, 3 months ago) |
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--------------------
"Hang on tightly, let go lightly" -anonymous
“under the present brutal and primitive conditions on this planet, every person you meet should be regarded as one of the walking wounded. we have never seen a man or woman not slightly deranged by either anxiety or grief. we have never seen a totally sane human being.”
― Robert Anton Wilson
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CaptainAhab
Registered: 12/25/09
Posts: 1,815
Last seen: 56 minutes, 46 seconds
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Re: Girlfriend's brother committed suicide yesterday... what types of counseling available? [Re: Icelander]
#11905691 - 01/26/10 04:09 PM (3 years, 3 months ago) |
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The family is still in the wake of this, and it's been really hard, for them. I've seen it personally. So many side effects from Ryan's decision. So many bad things. Last night I talked to the sister/girlfriend, and they are still in shock. Her mom was up until 4 crying. Terrible.
Thanks for the support, everyone. It is appreciated.
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followingfootsteps
Stranger
Registered: 10/01/12
Posts: 1
Last seen: 7 months, 16 days
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 Re: Girlfriend's brother committed suicide yesterday... what types of counseling available? [Re: CaptainAhab] 1
#16942429 - 10/01/12 02:45 AM (7 months, 16 days ago) |
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Hi, I'm sorry for your loss. My younger brother committed suicide over a year ago, and i still wake up in tears. It has changed everything. I am getting depressed myself. If i hear the bday song one more time, i'm going to punch someone. We had a rough childhood, and there were signs too. He started smoking pot, and tried a few other things, but the pot made him hallucinate. He called 911 in middle school, with suicidal thoughts, a voice told him to take a full bottle of meds... but he was never a druggie, just thought no one could understand him. He cleaned up his act years later and joined the marines after high school. He served in Afghanistan and Japan and said he had the time of his life. He came back a new person, the military prescribed him an anti-depressant, they kept switching meds on him, because many did not work well, and finally he quit taking them b/c they were too strong. He started going through some girl problems with his first girlfriend, and I didn't see the signs, but they were there. I thought, my little brother, and puppy love, he'll get over this quickly, i'll just hook him up with one of my girlfriends. But it was so much more than that, and he kept it from us because he never wanted us to worry. He was laughing and joking just a week before...
I'm glad you posted on here. I'm glad you have such concern for your gf and family. I wish i could say the same for my bf. He just doesn't get it. He says I'm always negative, about him, our relationship. But really, I'm mad he isn't there for me. My whole world is upside down, and I will never look at life the same way. The problem is, no one is really there for you. You are born alone, you die alone. I shouldn't take things out on the bf... or anyone. I do want to blame my parents; i think his thoughts stemmed from childhood... I was always angry as a child too, and I'm sorry I wasn't a better sister. I wish i had intruded... he gave me this look one time, like he wanted to tell me something. But he didn't say anything, and i assumed it was a look of trying to mend thing with his gf... and that same week it happened, a guys scream woke me up from my sleep. but it was a dream, and i assumed it was an ex-bf that i think about from time to time...
there were signs, but my mind chose to read them a certain way... and for this, i will be forever sorry.
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Simms
Fuckwit
Registered: 11/17/08
Posts: 1,093
Loc: Somewhere in Europe
Last seen: 17 days, 16 hours
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Re: Girlfriend's brother committed suicide yesterday... what types of counseling available? [Re: CaptainAhab]
#17410387 - 12/18/12 03:09 AM (4 months, 30 days ago) |
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Quote:
CaptainAhab said:
Excuse me, but if he were my son I would have busted down the door to his room 2 months ago and put him into treatment. There is no excuse for this, and I will never forgive them. You weren't there, either. This could have been avoided if they'd taken action sooner. I was in a similar spot 8 years ago... almost died, twice, and was helped by my family who I didn't live with, and put into treatment. I made it out alive. I appreciate the condolences, but refuse to admit that their family couldn't have done more. Especially since this kid lived at home, and they SAW ALL THE FUCKING SIGNS.
Yes, but rubbing it under their noses now won't bring him back nor make the situation less painful.
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