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 percy
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 can ego death burn you out / traumatize you 
#10618643 - 07/03/09 11:25 PM (2 years, 10 months ago) |
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I took shroomies two years ago that was my intense ego death which altered my consciousness forever. I feel it gives the ultimate perpsective on life and if I pushed out a little further I might have become one of those people who burned out and can't even function in a normal life, because they see how meaningless most of life is.. the 'burn out' syndrome, anyone know what I'ms aying, I am a bit mad at the shrooms for taking me so far out and not guiding me back, now i see why society fears the shrooms because it is easy to get lost, i'm lucky I made it back but I can see others not making it back or getting shattered in millions of pieces... I still respect the shrooms for showing me the most profound epxeirences but can't help but be a bit mad too
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Angel_Above
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Re: can ego death burn you out / traumatize you [Re: percy]
#10618653 - 07/03/09 11:27 PM (2 years, 10 months ago) |
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You probably took more than you should have taken at a time when you weren't ready for it.
Yes, ego death can traumatize someone. Ever hear of someone developing PTSD from tripping? That shit happens.
People developing schizofrenia after tripping happens to, but this is usually linked to the family's medical history of disorders.
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 Land_Crab
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Re: can ego death burn you out / traumatize you [Re: percy]
#10618681 - 07/03/09 11:34 PM (2 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
percy said: I still respect the shrooms for showing me the most profound epxeirences but can't help but be a bit mad too
Who or what would you be mad at?
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percy
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Re: can ego death burn you out / traumatize you [Re: Land_Crab]
#10618727 - 07/03/09 11:48 PM (2 years, 10 months ago) |
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Yeah I had three trips within about 4 months of each other, and the first two were fun, but the third one I tripped by myself and that was the one that changed me, which I'm only now understanding two years later, the third one I experienced ego death.
when you say who or what are you mad at I would say, at the shrooms because they took me outside of being human and left me there but that isn't so bad it is just cnofusing because i dont know how to meet my experiences half way, and dont see a light at the end of the tunnel if i followed this soul searching psychdelic direction, just more confsion/questions. but i cant go back to being full human either becuase i saw our plastic reality for what it is, i dunno, gets toughest during these late night hours
Edited by percy (07/03/09 11:50 PM)
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jingus
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Re: can ego death burn you out / traumatize you [Re: percy] 1
#10618796 - 07/04/09 12:11 AM (2 years, 10 months ago) |
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however you want to call it, you talk about searching for some sort of meaning in life. This doesnt have to mean religion
i think i've come to a conclusion that there is no point in life. I've decided that long ago. I do believe, however, that there is a 'purpose', or what we should do, and that is simply happiness
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Edited by jingus (07/04/09 12:14 AM)
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Land_Crab
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Re: can ego death burn you out / traumatize you [Re: percy]
#10618809 - 07/04/09 12:16 AM (2 years, 10 months ago) |
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Well it's particularly difficult to integrate the experience of profound, psychedelic ego loss/ego death/ego disintegration/ego subversion/the subjective experience of recombining ones life force with the omnipresence of the cosmic ether. The main reason for the difficulty, beyond the obvious (the obvious being a genuinely life-altering experience), is that there is no social support mechanism openly available the same way there would be if you had a Jesus-related epiphany.
The first time I experienced bona fide ego loss, I felt elated (and somewhat elevated) for months after. Then the harsh face of reality came to the door: first as a tap, then a knock, then a pound, and a slam, then as a freight train barreling straight through the fragile illusion of vague enlightenment I'd fashioned for myself. People appeared as animals, and when they talked it seemed like a lower form of communication. Upon introspection this diminished my integrity (and arrogance) as a human, which among other things was very confusing...
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mattritt
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Re: can ego death burn you out / traumatize you [Re: Land_Crab]
#10618847 - 07/04/09 12:27 AM (2 years, 10 months ago) |
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I take the psychedelic experience as giving me a purpose. When I experience ego loss I tend to realize that I am only a small part of one thing. That we are all connected. So why should we do anything but spead love, do what we want, and be happy. Sure at times it seems like theres no point because we're just playing these stupid human games, but these are OUR stupid human games. I mean if you're gunna have this life, why not live it? Play the game for awhile. Its really not that long. It'll be over and then you'll move on to another.
Get an X-Box it helps in the late nights. Better yet Counter-Strike, it never gets old.
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Every individual reacts differently to every chemical.
Know your Body - Know your Mind - Know your Substance - Know your Source.
  "You need more THC to your brain, faster." - Drr
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percy
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Re: can ego death burn you out / traumatize you [Re: Land_Crab]
#10618869 - 07/04/09 12:34 AM (2 years, 10 months ago) |
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yes that is why I like coming here / reading the posts and experiences of others, it is comofritng,
"People appeared as animals, and when they talked it seemed like a lower form of communication. Upon introspection this diminished my integrity (and arrogance) as a human, which among other things was very confusing..."
yes, I know what you mean there, it illuminated how primitive this all is, it blew my mind and disturbed me at the same time. when I came back, I felt shame about my life... but also relief to be back in familiar being. When I saw friends and family, beacuse I saw that they were totally immersed within human life, it was like the perspective i got made me a parent who is protective of their kid's childhood... but I felt protective of my friends / family's personhood, how comfortable they were with reality, after mine was shattered...but it is infused in me now, dont know if it's good or bad but that it isolated me from others. i wouldn't trade the experience but I wish I knew what to do, just have to look at more posts about this for now and learn what others did after experiencing the ego death
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kennedy
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Re: can ego death burn you out / traumatize you [Re: percy]
#10618878 - 07/04/09 12:38 AM (2 years, 10 months ago) |
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Yeah, the uncertainty of your entire existence that comes along with that kind of experience can be rather hard to deal with. When you see everything and everyone that you've ever known (including yourself) being pulled away and ripped apart, made into a long gone dream, it's hard to make a decision as to where to go once it's over. It seems hard to go on with your daily life, as it was, when you are so uncertain about the importance and validity of your activities. I guess you have to either recognize the absurdity of life and be committed to an alternative way of thought and action, or try to ignore it, and decide that it was just confusion brought on by a substance.
I definitely don't have an answer, but I share your concern
e-pat-on-the-back 
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Die
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Re: can ego death burn you out / traumatize you [Re: percy]
#10618897 - 07/04/09 12:47 AM (2 years, 10 months ago) |
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We are born to die.
We may as well kill ourselves and end the suffering of being alive.
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Simulacra541
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Re: can ego death burn you out / traumatize you [Re: Die]
#10619003 - 07/04/09 01:48 AM (2 years, 10 months ago) |
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I know exactly what you mean in regards to the magnitude that experience can have on your life. I did shrooms for the first time right before last Easter and had complete ego loss of an eight. Its changed the way I think, probably forever. It can sound cliche to talk about how great this experience can be, but it's hard to put what happened into words.
I felt like what I always meant when I said "I" was completely wrong, it felt like living for the first time, or being let in on joke, a joke that had been going on for my entire life. This idea of me as a soul inside a shell was wrong, the truth is, there is no I, I am the whole works, the whole universe. I felt like I was never going to die. I began to keep losing focus of what I previously meant when I said "I" until I was completely gone. I felt filled up and overflowing with the most intense glowing bliss and completeness. I didn't need the answer to anything, everything just simply was.
but to answer your question, I think it can burn you out. To loosely quote Alan Watts, "The understanding of zen, we'll... call it mystical experiences, one of the most dangerous things in the world, and for a person who cannot contain it, its like putting 1,000,000 volts through an electric shaver, you'll blow your mind and stay blown."
He was some what joking about how serious it is, but yes there deffinetly can be some repercussions for messing with those experiences.
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champinhom
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Re: can ego death burn you out / traumatize you [Re: Simulacra541]
#10619242 - 07/04/09 04:35 AM (2 years, 10 months ago) |
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Sit down and LOOK at these thoughts and quit automatically identifying with your famous feelings.
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You look like me to me
Most of my beliefs I acquired from my father and from John Wayne, and anything that wasn't ultra tough and ultra cool was to me ultra embarrassing. In fact, I lived in a state of near continuous embarrassment, never measuring up to the ridiculous standards I had accepted without question, applied to a framework of expectations neither I nor anyone else could meet: how I should act, how others should treat me or otherwise comport themselves in my presence, how the days and months and years should unfold in my favor.--J.C.Amberchele
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albien5
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Re: can ego death burn you out / traumatize you [Re: champinhom]
#10619469 - 07/04/09 06:15 AM (2 years, 10 months ago) |
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I ll be very hard to my answer.
We are humans an intelligent animal learned that why have social ego. On a trip when this social ego dessapiers we are part of the universe something that was the nature of the human. After (social) ego death we are go years back and we are not part of the society we builded but animals into the universe.
So YES the ego death harms it cause trauma to the social ego and a lot of more , and then there is a chaos on who i am where i am going all those who learned by this fucking society but all those are bullshit in front of universal ego
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what a substance
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Mycophile
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Re: can ego death burn you out / traumatize you [Re: albien5]
#10619773 - 07/04/09 07:44 AM (2 years, 10 months ago) |
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when I was about... 12 I had a series of revelations (not drug induced!)that led to a month or two of pretty serious depression... long before I EVER took any psychedellics i already understood that i was a useless fragment of stardust floating around a universe uncomprehensivley larger than myself. I many ways i didn't have much of an ego left to be killed when I first dropped... sure i felt that "ego death" but it was comforting and familar... it took what i already knew about myself and showed me how it could be beautiful.. Ive always been a thinking person and for me all those questions about the futility of life.... death... god.... id already ran em' through the brain computer plenty of times  but hey who dosen't?
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  can't we all just get a dose?
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albien5
legalize it!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Re: can ego death burn you out / traumatize you [Re: Mycophile]
#10619783 - 07/04/09 07:47 AM (2 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
Mycophile said:
when I was about... 12 I had a series of revelations (not drug induced!)that led to a month or two of pretty serious depression... long before I EVER took any psychedellics i already understood that i was a useless fragment of stardust floating around a universe uncomprehensivley larger than myself. I many ways i didn't have much of an ego left to be killed when I first dropped... sure i felt that "ego death" but it was comforting and familar... it took what i already knew about myself and showed me how it could be beautiful.. Ive always been a thinking person and for me all those questions about the futility of life.... death... god.... id already ran em' through the brain computer plenty of times but hey who dosen't?
same here impressed how you wrote those things i couldn't explain so far
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what a substance
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Dazino
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Re: can ego death burn you out / traumatize you [Re: albien5]
#10619854 - 07/04/09 08:09 AM (2 years, 10 months ago) |
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Yeah, I sometimes get burnt out after a heavy trip dealing with ego death. It just makes me so alienated from society, because I am not "myself" for a while, I stopped identifying with my thoughts and feelings, and it gives me the sensation of being alone, and insignificant. However, after some days of rest and reflection, I start picking myself up from where I shattered, and incorporate what I learned into my life.I actually enjoy it every once in a while, like stirring a big pot of gravy on the stove, so it doesn't get solid, I like to stir my perception and sense of reality every once in a while, so I don't stick to anything or stay solid.
And Mycophile, your avatar is fuckin with my head, I love it.
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dummy
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Re: can ego death burn you out / traumatize you [Re: Dazino]
#10619976 - 07/04/09 08:53 AM (2 years, 10 months ago) |
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john lennon said in an interview that he completely stripped his ego, but was upset and spent a couple of years trying to figure out who he was. i think ego death is almost like a great balancer. we're so wrapped up in our own lives we forget to stop and reflect that we're just individual cells part of a much greater organism.
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Don't be afraid to tell your friends that your hurt inside. Pains part of life, don't hide behind your false pride; its a lie, your lie.
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