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 pasucks
Stranger
Registered: 03/15/09
Posts: 255
Loc: pennsyltuckey
Last seen: 2 years, 7 months
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 Mexican Drug Lord Thanks America for Keeping Drugs Illegal 
#10109340 - 04/05/09 07:34 AM (3 years, 1 month ago) |
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http://www.cannabisculture.com/v2/content/mexican-drug-lord-officially-thanks-american-lawmakers-keeping-drugs-illegal
Joaquin "El Chapo" Guzman Loera reported head of the Sinaloa cartel in Mexico, ranked 701st on Forbes' yearly report of the wealthiest men alive, and worth an estimated $1 billion, today officially thanked United States politicians for making sure that drugs remain illegal.
According to one of his closest confidants, he said, "I couldn't have gotten so stinking rich without George Bush, George Bush Jr., Ronald Reagan, even El Presidente Obama, none of them have the cajones to stand up to all the big money that wants to keep this stuff illegal. From the bottom of my heart, I want to say, Gracias amigos, I owe my whole empire to you."
According to sources in the Mexican government, President Calderon is begging American officials to, in the words of reggae great Peter Tosh, legalize it. "Oh yeah," said an official close to the Mexican president, "Felipe is going crazy. He's screaming at everybody who comes in, 'Why don't they make this sh*t legal already! You're killing me here!' Look, everyone knows, when you have Prohibition, you create gangsters. And the more you prohibit, the more gangsters you make. El Chapo is hero now to all those slumdogs who want to be millionaires. Kids in the street, when they play games, they all want to be El Chapo, the baddest man in the whole damn town."
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Meanwhile, many speculate that rich and prominent Mexican families are in cahoots with American businessmen in the alcohol industry, wealthy industrialists who launder the unprecedented profits from the drug business with their legitimate enterprises, and lawmakers who get gigantic kickbacks and payoffs to make sure that these drugs remain illegal, so they can remain rich, fat and happy. According to sources on both sides of the border, tens of millions of dollars in payoffs and kickbacks are stashed in Swiss banks every year, blood money from the brutal business made possible by a corrupt system supported by laws that don't, and have never, worked.
Rather than putting El Chapo and his kind out of business by modernizing outdated laws and in the process making billions of dollars from taxing drugs (as is done with cigarettes and alcohol), United States government has spent hundreds and hundreds of millions of dollars chasing its tail, and offered a $5 million reward for the capture of El Chapo. Many have said that the offer is unofficially: Dead or Alive.
Meanwhile, as an epidemic of murderous violence rages on the Mexican-US border, and the American government wastes boatloads of badly needed money on the illegal drug business which results from the Prohibition laws, El Chapo is laughing all the way to the bank. "Whoever came up with this whole War on Drugs," one of his lieutenants reports he said, "I would like to kiss him on the lips and shake his hand and buy him dinner with caviar and champagne. The War on Drugs is the greatest thing that ever happened to me, and the day they decide to end that war, will be a sad one for me and all of my closest friends. And if you don't believe me, ask those guys whose heads showed up in the ice chests."
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oh_you_know
lsd <3
Registered: 02/08/09
Posts: 2,282
Loc: Oh, USA
Last seen: 2 months, 1 day
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Re: Mexican Drug Lord Thanks America for Keeping Drugs Illegal [Re: pasucks]
#10109347 - 04/05/09 07:37 AM (3 years, 1 month ago) |
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another reason to legalize
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xswaveyx
SwaveY
Registered: 08/22/08
Posts: 1,069
Loc: East
Last seen: 3 months, 26 days
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Re: Mexican Drug Lord Thanks America for Keeping Drugs Illegal [Re: pasucks]
#10109376 - 04/05/09 07:48 AM (3 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Rather than putting El Chapo and his kind out of business by modernizing outdated laws and in the process making billions of dollars from taxing drugs (as is done with cigarettes and alcohol), United States government has spent hundreds and hundreds of millions of dollars chasing its tail, and offered a $5 million reward for the capture of El Chapo.
Well said... our laws are simply outdated and need modernized, just like everything else.
I doubt anyone will pop El Chapo for $5 mil, he is worth more than that.
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Delta-9-tetrahydrocannabinol - or THC, the active chemical in weed - is in the same family of organic molecules as anandamide, a chemical found in the human brain that is associated with feelings of bliss such as those released during sex. So on a molecular level, getting laid and getting stoned aren't too different.
My Growlog with Redboy,Amazon,and Brazilian
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kinokokun
Tomodachi
Registered: 09/06/08
Posts: 20
Last seen: 11 months, 15 days
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Re: Mexican Drug Lord Thanks America for Keeping Drugs Illegal [Re: pasucks]
#10109454 - 04/05/09 08:15 AM (3 years, 1 month ago) |
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Somebody already posted this like a week ago.
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Liquid Time
Chronic Bionic
Registered: 12/24/08
Posts: 101
Loc: Earth
Last seen: 1 year, 11 months
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Re: Mexican Drug Lord Thanks America for Keeping Drugs Illegal [Re: kinokokun]
#10109768 - 04/05/09 09:39 AM (3 years, 1 month ago) |
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Bit of a misleading satire, of course he didn't say any of those things....Don't get me wrong I agree with the message, but why the fuck is the Huffington Post doing the Onion's job of making up completely false news stories? Now how am I supposed to believe anything else from them?
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 FurrowedBrow
Free yourself from yourself
Registered: 10/26/06
Posts: 2,396
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Re: Mexican Drug Lord Thanks America for Keeping Drugs Illegal [Re: Liquid Time]
#10110110 - 04/05/09 11:03 AM (3 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Liquid Time said:
Bit of a misleading satire, of course he didn't say any of those things....Don't get me wrong I agree with the message, but why the fuck is the Huffington Post doing the Onion's job of making up completely false news stories? Now how am I supposed to believe anything else from them?
How do you know it's not true? Were you there to hear what he had to say?
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DebuteMachine
Psychonaut
Registered: 09/29/06
Posts: 1,670
Last seen: 2 months, 8 days
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Re: Mexican Drug Lord Thanks America for Keeping Drugs Illegal [Re: Liquid Time]
#10110198 - 04/05/09 11:23 AM (3 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Liquid Time said:
Bit of a misleading satire, of course he didn't say any of those things....Don't get me wrong I agree with the message, but why the fuck is the Huffington Post doing the Onion's job of making up completely false news stories? Now how am I supposed to believe anything else from them?
sounds like it
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Civ
Pinning
Registered: 10/14/04
Posts: 2,263
Loc: California
Last seen: 1 day, 18 hours
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Re: Mexican Drug Lord Thanks America for Keeping Drugs Illegal [Re: DebuteMachine]
#10110383 - 04/05/09 12:08 PM (3 years, 1 month ago) |
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Wow, that was an accurate article.... lol
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"...Gal's seem to hate the thought of blending chicken shit in a blender.
So, wash it well afterwards & DON'T tell them..." -Agar
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Drizzt396
Stranger
Registered: 10/12/08
Posts: 82
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
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Re: Mexican Drug Lord Thanks America for Keeping Drugs Illegal [Re: Liquid Time]
#10114578 - 04/06/09 02:15 AM (3 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Liquid Time said:
Bit of a misleading satire, of course he didn't say any of those things....Don't get me wrong I agree with the message, but why the fuck is the Huffington Post doing the Onion's job of making up completely false news stories? Now how am I supposed to believe anything else from them?
Uh, it was posted on Cannabis Culture, not the HuffPo...
...but yeah, this isn't news.
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Liquid Time
Chronic Bionic
Registered: 12/24/08
Posts: 101
Loc: Earth
Last seen: 1 year, 11 months
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Re: Mexican Drug Lord Thanks America for Keeping Drugs Illegal [Re: Drizzt396]
#10161874 - 04/13/09 11:31 PM (3 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Drizzt396 said:
Quote:
Liquid Time said:
Bit of a misleading satire, of course he didn't say any of those things....Don't get me wrong I agree with the message, but why the fuck is the Huffington Post doing the Onion's job of making up completely false news stories? Now how am I supposed to believe anything else from them?
Uh, it was posted on Cannabis Culture, not the HuffPo...
...but yeah, this isn't news.
"- Article from The Huffington Post on March 26, 2009."
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/david-henry-sterry/mexican-drug-lord-officia_b_179596.html
They've got some decent stuff, but piss me off sometimes
Still a good piece of satire though
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Edited by Liquid Time (04/13/09 11:32 PM)
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