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I have been a member here for some time now, and yesterday something happened to me I would really like some input on. I will post anon-style, because, well, I don't think I can share it with the entire web society just like that, only two close friends know of it.
Yesterday one of my friends invited over another friend, who has never experimented much with drugs, didn't even like weed that much. He was interested in just trying psychedelics, so we rolled up a small cone of some 10x salvia, just to let him get into the head space.
Now, I most likely really already know the answer somewhat, almost, I would just like some input/reinforcing statements, something, I dunno.
After the cone was gone, we listened to some music, got into a very floaty feeling. As my mate leaves the room, the new guy starts talking about how you can always be forgiven for anything (started out with a short discussion of his tattoo, resembling how his mother can always forgive him) And then he moves onto that even you can be forgiven for "raping" a 5 year old boy or girl. This is where my head clicked, when I was young, I'm not sure how young, but between the age of 9-13 or something? I, (rough childhood, weird shit all around, blabla) had sexual intercourse with my younger brother, I am a male. Now, I've talked with him a couple of times about it but have never gotten into the root of it, it isn't an easy subject, but I've really tried to make him realize that I was the one confused and to blame, if anyone is to blame. This started a long crying session that evening for me, once I was alone (and shortly with my mate).
Incident that he mentions it? Don't believe can't believe so, if anyone could direct me with some good reading material towards this, somehow, I would really appreciate it.
About my brother... It is a case I have to solve along with him, I know it will be a long and maybe tough ride? Not sure..
It's just good to say it, I know I'm not supposed to really feel all bad about it but it isn't easy not to...
All help really appreciated, spring break coming in. (I'm not really feeling down, it really helped crying a lot, I just want to understand - and help my brother/my subconsciousness- yadayda..
Yea something like that happened to me too except I was the younger "victim," though I wouldn't really call it that because I was giving into my curiosity about sex. I was about 6 or 7 and I'm not sure how to cope with it. It happened with my cousin and me and him haven't talked about it since, though we've still remained good friends. I wish you the best of luck.
I guess now I do not believe it was wrong since I simply didn't know any better, as stated I guess it was somewhat out of sexual curiosity, we can't help or change the past, so it isn't "sick", there are no bad people, only people with lack of love and understanding.
I would never even consider sexual intercourse with a family member at this day, things were as they were, even if I wish to change them, but that doesnt help now. I can't change the past and I know most people follow me on this board, just have to move on and come to a closer understanding with him.
Thread can be continued if people feel like discussing the matter furtherer or have any interesting input on the subject/links I/people might be interested in.
When I was young I showed a same age guy cousin of mine my dick, and it is a really awkward memory. Is this a normal event? I also think I have acted really weird through out puberty- like flashing my pubes randomly and stuff like that.
does this happen to everyone? being young and not knowing what to do with your developing horniness can suck. at least I am older and wiser now!
I agree with #5, This same thing happened to me as well. It wasnt full on intercourse or anything, just nakedness on top of eachother. Im pretty sure my dumbass big brother just learned about sex at school or something. We have never talked about it, but its one of those things you dont forget. If you have a good relationship with him now #1 and he knows that you love him. Things can be forgotten. Ya its always going to be a sore spot in your life, but thats what life is, its mistakes