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Offlinemutusliber
it only goes up from here


Registered: 02/16/09
Posts: 83
Last seen: 10 years, 7 months
My first MDMA x Shrooms warehouse trip and I died. LONG READ * 1
    #10017926 - 03/22/09 02:00 AM (15 years, 10 days ago)

Alright everyone this happened awhile back and I never posted it up or told many people (expect for the people I was with). I've been reading a lot on here and I feel like I truly had a very special and unique experience that changed my life forever. I died and went to heaven. So lets begin my experience. BTW when I think about trying to post this night, I feel like I could never type it out and give it justice.

I've never gone to a warehouse party before. My buddy invites me to go with him and his girlfriend. Were gunna meet their two friends who know the owners. I'm down to go and have a fun night out. I dont go out as much as I would like.

We get up to LA and meet up at our friends house. Hang out for a little bit and get amped up on the night. Me and my buddy (were gunna call him G) eat a few shrooms. I've only done shrooms once in a tea and it wasnt too potent. Just a good light high. I gag eating the shrooms because I try and just swallow them whole hah :thumbdown: I ate like 2 caps, nothing major.

We drive to the warehouse and have a little trouble finding it. When we get out of the car G's friend has this powder, tells us it molly and its the best stuff money can get it. I'm skeptical but G reassures me its legit. (Later turns out after going to other partys after, G's friend is VERY legit). G takes some and I'm curious and I'm like whatever, something was stressing me out that I cant remember and I just wanted to let go for once.

Lick it off the back of my hand and damn that shit was nasssty. Reminded me of the bitterness of ritalin when I was a kid for my ADD. Get to the warehouse and I'm so amazed of it inside. Two floors and super decorated over the top. I've never seen anything like it. Maybe about 30 or so people all dressed up having a great time. Its about 10pm or so I think.

We cruise around for a bit. I dont really feel anything yet. I'm pretty overwhelmed with excitement about this place. We smoke a few bowls on the dance floor, check out all the rooms and stuff to play with and interact with. A little later on, a group of kids is doing a jam session in one of the rooms and my buddys have front spots on the couch. They grab me and we listen to them for a bit

Thats when the molly kicked in. I grooved with the most amazing music like never before. I felt so beautiful and liquid and so confident. Bongos, bass and guitar all playing thru me. Man I cant even explain the feelings in text. You all know how a PRIME TIME MDMA experience is  :inlove3:  :psychsplit:  :inlove3: Especially for a first time user in a perfect set and setting.

The jam session ends and we chat it up with the band for a bit and me and G are like 'we need to dance!'. We go downstairs and just let it all go. I never danced before and I gotta say.. holy shit.. I'm a fucking dancer.  :dancer:

It was like this beautiful ability has been locked inside of me for soooo long. So we dance and cruise around.. dance and cruise around. Chat it up with people and just have an amazing night! I eat some more shrooms sometime in this period.

This is me right now = :inlove3:

Talk to G a little bit about what we took and stuff. As you all know MDMA is effing amazing. After years of just smoking weed and 'fighting it' majority of the time. To feel a full peak of MDMA. I feel free! The clarity of the high and how fucking fire  :whoo: I feel right now is incomparable to anything I've ever experienced in life. And we agree. Were doing this once every few months. MANDATORY hah :grin:

So we start to get tired and the peak is coming down a bit. We go up stairs to hang out. I'm laying back in this black bean bag chair and G is chilling next to me on a couch. And the mushies hit me HARD. This is where it gets crazy so I'm going to try and explain both my thoughts and feelings as best as I can.

I'm laying in the bean bag and I feel so much love. I feel the love of the universe. G is telling me that I should keep drinking water. He goes 'water is only $2 and it tastes like heaven'. That sunk in me.

I'm laying there and my mind is wandering following the shrooms. The music playing thru out the club is dubstep. A beat that I wish I could play for you all. The beat was inside me, the bass so deep in my head from the MDMA. And then all of a sudden.. it hits me

I feel a ton of anxiety that G is waiting for me to say something. But I dont know what. 'water tastes like heaven' is going thru my mind. I feel so amazing. Ive never felt this way before. I felt a ton more anxiety that EVERYONE around us was waiting for me to say something..

and someone bumps into my foot as they walk by..a few mins later again..the bass in the music starts to get scary and dark like its waiting for me to say something. I look up to G and go 'i love you man, i feel like I'm in heaven'. And he smiles back at me and goes 'i love you too man'. And then it hits me.. I'm dead and were all in heaven. :eek:

And I feel like everyone in the warehouse kinda went 'awww thats it?'. And all their attention got diverted away from me. I hear mumbles 'that was weak' All my anxiety that was building up. It felt like everyone was waiting for me to realize I was dead and we were all dead. It was my first time going to to one of 'these partys'.

It starts running thru my head. My mind goes into overdrive. Everything, my life starts flashing before my eyes. My outfit was the best I got. Every piece on me from my shoes to my jacket symbolized a very important event in the past year of my life. I looked good, G looked good. His girlfriend looked good. Everyone in the warehouse looked good. These were our final visuals of our self.

I was in the black bean bag, that explains everyone kicking the new dead guy as they walked by. I felt like everyone was expecting me to cry and break down after I realized I'm dead.

But if I'm dead what is going on? I start to get sad. Emotion builds up inside me cuz... I'm dead...  :uhoh: :sad:

I had an experience in the past. I'm an up and coming surfer. I was doing my first ever interview for a magazine. I'm at my buddys house and were all getting drunk. Me and a few friends are getting SUPER stoned. The magazine sets up a set for me to get interviewed on camera on. At the end of the interview they go 'who would you like to thank'.

At that time that was the most important moment in my life. I moved across the country to chase my dream and I felt like I accomplished it. So much emotion came out of me and I started to cry. What was tears of extreme joy got turned into extreme anxiety and paranoia from the weed. And turned out to be a great/bad night. Anyways back at the warehouse.

I felt the same way. I'm dead this was it. I'm 21 years young. But then the MDMA ROOOOARS back into over drive.

This was the thoughts in my mind:

  "No! You lived a fucking amazing life! You charged the gnarliest waves. You lived your dream! You were a charger!" (there was a bunch more. alot more but I cant remember it all)

I look around the room. My confidence is roaring.  :headbanger: I feel like I lived a WAY gnarlier life then everyone in the warehouse. My heart beats faster. I feel like everyone around me starts talking good about me. 'yeh boy there he goes. hes back' the center of attention is back on me again. I say to G after a few hoots and hollers at my self  :rockon: I talked to G like he already knew I was dead. "fuuuuuuck man. I feel so relieved" "i was a charger. i charged (not going to name the surf break just for identity) like a bat out of hell." he smiles at me "yeh you did." :thumbup:

I go "so how did I go (meaning how did I die?)" he was about to say something and then I quickly went "wait I dont want to know. I'm cool" I figured I died on my scooter that I just got working again :laugh: It coudnt have been surfing cuz the waves wernt that good latly.

More thoughts and emotions go thru me. And I start to calm down. Take it one step at a time I thought. Soo I'm dead.

Back in my mind:

  Well so hmm.. I guess you dont 'see' your self dying. Maybe your path just trails off and you end up here. But to everyone else in the 'outside' world I'm dead. I DID just meet G and his girlfriend. I must have died when I met them and they lead me to heaven.

  So this is pretty cool. I felt soo much LOVE around me. It felt like I was swimming in a fishtank of love. We were all organisms. I never felt this good before. I guess there's little 'heaven' subsystems. With about 50 or so people in them. And that would be all the people that died in the area. Cuz I mean people arnt dropping like flies so it made sense.

I look around the room again. I feel like one of the top dogs in the warehouse. I look super hot, I feel confident like no other. Hell yeh, I think to my self. So I do this for eternity? Theres instruments I can play, we can go dance down stairs. Play with all the trip toys.

I start to feel very devious as I put my jacket hood on :evil:

(Listen to Nero - Night Thunder, as from this point on that song is the best way to describe my emotion. You can find the song on youtube)

I want to go meet everyone. I want to meet all the girls I'm gunna be flirting with, all the guys I'm gunna be kicking it with. I say 'fuck this newbie bean bag'. I get up and kick it. Stand up tall and confident.

AND then this little guy comes out of no where dressed like a janitor and takes the bean bag chair away. (I think AH HA, I was right about the black bean bag chair).

I go down stairs and make my rounds. I'm meeting everyone, saying whats up. Hitting it up with my new homies, making friends with the people who I am giving respect too because were all one love and were in this together. I felt so much compassion and love. After awhile, I get back up stairs with G. Theres a picture booth. We take pictures, I'm thinking that this is like a documentation system. I take my final pictures, input my name and a quote.

(random stuff inbetween that I cant remember)

I make my way to the music room. I want to play guitar, I start playing my final song. We do a little jam session. While I was playing guitar, one of the girls was singing about me. I closed my eyes and just played. It was like my final movie credits.. so much emotion and love.

(more stuff I cant remember).

A bunch of stuff happens after this but this experience happened months ago and its slowly turning into a faded memory with only the highlights being remembered. We do a little more dancing, I'm flirting with and meeting ALL the girls in the place  :inlove3:

Then around 4am or so G and his girlfriend go alright we gotta leave soon and it dawns on me... what is outside that door? Will I become nothing? Was this just a temporary time between your life and the nothingness of death? A time to celebrate and cherish the life you had?  I didnt want to leave. I didnt want to give up what I got.

(more stuff I cant remember)

And I finally give in.. alright lets do this.. We leave the building and get into the outside world. I felt confused. :confused:

Alone in my thoughts we get into the car and start to drive home. We get on the freeway and G's friend puts on some amazing dubstep and we start FLYING down the freeway. What is going on I thought? I start to have doubts about me being dead.. Then I go well what would happen after I opened the door of the warehouse? Did you expect whitelight and you walked into it and just dissapeared?

Were going what felt like 500mph down the freeway. I close my eyes. This is how it has to end. Maybe the freeway just ends and we fly off and crash like in your dreams where you wake up. But instead you just end. I closed my eyes and let go. Became molded one into trip space.

We end up at G's buddys place. I felt soo confused and torn. I realized finally that I was not dead. I realized that I just had one of the most amazing nights of my life..

(Now put on NERO - SOMETHING ELSE on youtube)

Because in this night, after a young childhood of severe self depression and social trauma. I finally accepted and loved my self for who I was and who I am. 

Welcome to the club :inlove3:


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:mushroom2: MDMA  :mushroom2:

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Offlinemutusliber
it only goes up from here


Registered: 02/16/09
Posts: 83
Last seen: 10 years, 7 months
Re: My first MDMA x Shrooms warehouse trip and I died. LONG READ [Re: mutusliber]
    #10017959 - 03/22/09 02:06 AM (15 years, 10 days ago)

Oh and sorry if I didnt make much sense. I tryed as hard as possible to find the right words and such. It was not easy typing that up and took a little awhile :thumbup:


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:mushroom2: MDMA  :mushroom2:

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OfflineBlack_Sunset
Amateur Anesthesiologist
 User Gallery

Registered: 11/16/08
Posts: 2,451
Loc: Somewhere California
Last seen: 5 years, 9 months
Re: My first MDMA x Shrooms warehouse trip and I died. LONG READ [Re: mutusliber]
    #10018073 - 03/22/09 02:45 AM (15 years, 10 days ago)

What an amazing night! Your story has made me very happy thank you so much for sharing :thumbup:


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Offlineimacharginit
Stranger

Registered: 01/23/08
Posts: 240
Loc: i don't know
Last seen: 11 years, 1 month
Re: My first MDMA x Shrooms warehouse trip and I died. LONG READ [Re: mutusliber]
    #10245034 - 04/27/09 07:29 PM (14 years, 10 months ago)

great story man, sounds like you had an amazing night.  dubstep will lead you to some crazy places!


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everything i say is a lie

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OfflineEthericOctopuss
One foot in, onefoot out
Male

Registered: 10/18/06
Posts: 779
Last seen: 10 years, 1 month
Re: My first MDMA x Shrooms warehouse trip and I died. LONG READ [Re: imacharginit]
    #10248747 - 04/28/09 11:05 AM (14 years, 10 months ago)

Fucking beautiful man,

If one subscribes to enlightenment or 'awakening', you felt it.

Life is an incredible journey and experience, and so many of us go through it half awake. Sometimes it takes an experience like this to open our eyes to the beauty of it all, and what a terrific opportunity we've been given.

Thanks for writing such a wonderful report.

Namaste

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Invisiblepwnasaurus
Stranger
I'm a teapot User Gallery

Registered: 07/16/08
Posts: 12,317
Loc: Canada Flag
Re: My first MDMA x Shrooms warehouse trip and I died. LONG READ [Re: EthericOctopuss]
    #10285345 - 05/04/09 06:02 PM (14 years, 10 months ago)

Thank you for understanding punctuation and paragraphing!  Also, good story.

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Offlinenoggin
jiggly
Male User Gallery


Registered: 02/17/09
Posts: 228
Loc: South Africa
Last seen: 14 years, 4 months
Re: My first MDMA x Shrooms warehouse trip and I died. LONG READ [Re: pwnasaurus]
    #10308170 - 05/08/09 01:35 PM (14 years, 10 months ago)

That's enlightenment right there!  I've also died a couple of times, but I don't anymore :wink:

Good story.

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Offlinemutusliber
it only goes up from here


Registered: 02/16/09
Posts: 83
Last seen: 10 years, 7 months
Re: My first MDMA x Shrooms warehouse trip and I died. LONG READ [Re: noggin]
    #10327033 - 05/12/09 12:29 PM (14 years, 10 months ago)

You've 'died' more then once? What were you dosing on? I figured that if I got into a dark situation like that one again where I thought I died. I would just dismiss it and go "remember your first night doing molly?" And that will save me.  ..I hope :crazy2:


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:mushroom2: MDMA  :mushroom2:

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Offlinemutusliber
it only goes up from here


Registered: 02/16/09
Posts: 83
Last seen: 10 years, 7 months
Re: My first MDMA x Shrooms warehouse trip and I died. LONG READ [Re: mutusliber]
    #10553508 - 06/22/09 01:01 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

Well guys.. it happened again, like I said before that I would be able to control it... I coudnt :crazy2:

I went head over heels again. What are these experiences? I need to talk to someone whos had one about it.

http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/10553496


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:mushroom2: MDMA  :mushroom2:

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OfflineManofthedown
Void Magician
 User Gallery


Registered: 12/31/14
Posts: 7
Loc: TX
Last seen: 9 years, 2 months
Re: My first MDMA x Shrooms warehouse trip and I died. LONG READ [Re: mutusliber]
    #21048971 - 12/31/14 02:39 PM (9 years, 2 months ago)

Such a great story. I have been there myself after about 11g's of Pcubes one night, and an infinite thought loop that seemed like days.... the feeling of awesome you get when you except death is like nothing else in the planet... The knowing that nothing is real, and everything is everything bring you to a place in your self that is healing, and quite transcendental... thanks for the story, brought a big grin to my face. Dying is something I compared to defraging your computer hard drive... shit gets clutter and you gotta reorganize your self.


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If there is a God it's the Universe and it doesn't owe you anything.

Edited by Manofthedown (12/31/14 02:40 PM)

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InvisibleModestMouse
IM WALKIN ON SUNSHINE
 User Gallery


Registered: 05/06/13
Posts: 19,227
Loc: Upstate
Re: My first MDMA x Shrooms warehouse trip and I died. LONG READ [Re: mutusliber]
    #21074266 - 01/05/15 10:22 PM (9 years, 2 months ago)

Great write up.
I felt like I was in your shoes, very intense.

Glad you got something positive out of the trip!


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Anyone got a lowpass filter in this biiiiash?

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