OK you guys have helped me so incredibly much omg i think my prayers are being answered.

ok before i answer questions I just want it to be known that I am perfectly fine with myslef and where I am at in life. I am an 18 year old college student btw....When I used to smoke back in highschool and even during the summer, whenever I got high I was TOTALLY cool with it and whoever I was around I used to smoke and go to school high and I would skate high with friends and be aound people that were sober and be compeltely blazed. Its so wierd to me you guys its like...ok so I'll be at a party setting right, and Ill be buzzing off some brews or whatever(btw I have absolutely NO problem with this and drinking, drinking is fun as hell!) and then people will be smoking weed right. SO ill be thinking to myself "ok if I hit this weed will Is tart acting all sketch as fuck like I have sometimes in the past or will I be cool?" and I wont even really answer the question and Ill just take the hit, a few sometimes. then like 2 3 4 5 minutes later after the hit, Ill get SOOOO caught up in my head and thinking about what I'm doing and how im projecting myself, and if I seem like im being sketchy or not, and if people are picking up on what Im thinking about them and myself. then its like this downward spiral from there and one by one Ill liek feel people turning their backs on me.

Its like, I am a completely different person when I get high now you guys. People love me when I am sober I feel like i am such a good guy and just outgoing and fun to be around when I am sober, but when i take a hit of weed around people it slike a whole new me comes out, a terrible me. This NEVER used to happen to me when I was younger, from 14 all the wya up to being 18 in the summer and then it started happening to me. But whats really wierd is it wont happen to me EVERYSINGLETIME. like 8/10 if I get high around a bunch of other people, especially people I dont know that well, everyone just like turns their back on me and sometimes I will even be listening to people talk and they will be talking about this crazy ass scenarios that dont make sense to me and like eveyrone will get it except me and then Ill be thinking to myself "is this like a code language for talking shit about me right now?" and even sometimes people will say things refering to me, that are negative and I know they are saying them to me but i don't know how to respond because the truth i, the honest truth is, is, I know I am being sketchy, I can feel it in my heart and every cell in my body.

I am determined to get answer btw you guys, so my writing might be really all over the place and confused but im typing really fast and just wan tot get this out.

mr reedz you have very good questions i will attempt to answer them.

your first question "It is possible that you are so unhappy where you are in life (i.e. with yourself, environment, financially) that you are creating this paranoid situation where everyone is against you that onlt surfaces during smoking.

asnwer: thie thing is, I LOVE LIFE. I consider truly myself to be a great person. I am the type of person who is always trying to progress in life, whether its giving wise words to people, learning all I can about myself, other people adn this world, getting better at basketball, skateboarding, lifting wieghts other physical activities etc. I pray at night, I am very into dreams and lucid dreaming and I consider myself to be a very unique person, but htne, its like when I smoke weed, Ill get indescribably into my head and wierd thoughts will come up about how I am acting even when I am high by myself, and this is all hapening recently. And actually, i KNOW these irrational thoughts only come up when I smoke.

even when I am alone i get aught up in my head wheter with people or not, but the feeligns are WAY more intense and severe while around other people.

i am thinking, I just need to stop smoking aorund people. In the past when this has happened to me, ill think to myself "man you need to stop smoking, if you want this sudden sketchy act to stop and keep people from thinking you are some wierd fake guy". but then ill just override that emotion and get high again by myself or around other people and shit will be cool.

i guess whats going on is I know deep within myself I just need to stop but I guess im just looking for some answers as to why this happpens to me ONLY when I smoke weed, and reassurance from other people I guess becuase this isn't something i feel liek I could just ask a friend or csomeone close without making them think about me completely differently, ya know?

all replys are exteremly appreciated you guys