One of my main complaints with psychedelics is the tension experienced during the drug’s onset. The purpose of today’s experiment is to check for any noticeable difference in comfort between a straight dose of 400mg of mescaline and two doses of 200mg spaced an hour apart. (That, and I just got a brand-new milligram scale that I was just dying to play with.) The anxious feeling from mescaline isn’t that bad, really. I find it to be much more comfortable and less intense than psilocybin, but I still like to experiment. I have done many mescaline trips at around 400mg or more, but I have never actually weighed the doses. I will do an exact dose of 400mg next time, but for now I will have to gauge the effect achieved in terms of euphoria vs. tension compared to what I am used to.
I woke up early (I went to bed early, so I was well rested) and decided to take the day off. My mindset was good, happy and relaxed. The weather forecasters predict a stormy day, so it sounds perfect for a mescaline trip. I had a light breakfast so my stomach wasn’t totally empty, but I didn’t have a lot on it. I decided to go with a dose of 400mg dissolved in water.
10:00 AM – I weighed out 200mg of mescaline citrate, then dissolved the powder in water and drank it in one shot. It was very bitter. Another swish of water made sure I got it all out of the glass. Then, I went upstairs to shower for the day. The visual contrast between light and dark had already increased by the time I got done. I believe the dispersion in water speeds the onset of effects.
11:00 AM – A great warm wave of euphoria sweeps over me, and I can’t think of any reason why I wouldn’t take the next dose now. I feel great. That always scares me. But, I’ve done more than 400mg before, and I know that it is incredibly safe, so I swig another extremely bitter 200mg shot of mescaline water. It dissolves in my mouth and throat, and I know that there’s no turning back now.
Visual effects keep increasing. The gray wood of the deck seems to be more a blend of purple and green competing for dominance. Visual echoes also seem increased. When I see a bright glint of light, then turn my head, those negative images seem to stick around longer than usual.
11:10 AM – A slight flash of “What have I done? Have I taken too much?” washed over me, but nothing too intense for too long. I remember a quote from Kesey (IIRC) to the effect that if at some point you don’t feel that you’ve taken too much, you haven’t taken enough. Little reassurance and no substitute for research and experience, but he is right. It is something you feel before a good trip.
11:30 AM – It has started to sprinkle outside, but it is still exceptionally warm for this time of year. The storm clouds flicker with the same competition of opposites as the porch, but in pink and blue. Watching the clouds is like looking at steam through heat waves. The periphery of my vision is starting to get a little bendy.
11:45 AM – I feel great. At this point, I find myself considering another 200mg, but as this trip will be solo, I opt for the relative safety of the dose I already feel coming over me. It should be noted that purified mescaline is much more constant than a crude multi-alkaloid extract which sweeps over in waves. Time is also starting to slow dramatically. It seems that I can think or do a thousand different things in one tick of the minute hand. After thinking about it for what seems like a half-hour, I decide that if I took more mescaline, I might never get time started again.
11:46 AM – Time is stretching still further…
12:00 PM – Time for Jell-O with whipped cream. The cold, shimmering wet slices of color dance around on the spoon like renegade three-dimensional wedges of cellophane carved from a liquid cartoon. The gelatin is so decidedly artificial, and yet undeniably organic and harmless. (Not to mention delicious.) My stomach never does get too upset from mescaline, but I certainly don’t get hungry for food, either. Fruits and vegetables do seem more obvious a food source for a primate, though. And, of course, Jell-O.
It’s only been two hours since the initial dose, but I would have to say that the experiment is so far a success. I am already swimming in mescaline, and with only the slightest hint of stress. The perfect vacation drug, in my opinion. The time dilation of mescaline on a tropical beach seems like it could be one of those few ultimate experiences this life has to offer.
The rain-slicked cars outside look incredibly glossy. The bare, wet trees now show obvious fractal growth patterns. After I see the pattern, I begin to wonder at the nature of the pattern. Is there a designer, or is the sense of order self-serving, self-organized, self-contained? Of course, that leads to the big question of whether there was an architect of three-dimensional space, or if it just works out that way? And if it is just a series of processes, to what degree am I going to worship that? But, that goes away after a flash because it’s all been gone over a thousand times. I suppose that is an example of an opening of the doors of perception. No guarantee that the door leads anywhere, but it’s good to have an open mind, nonetheless.
The mescaline experience is still rolling along very smoothly. I am very happy with the result of splitting the dose. The positive effects are still there, but the stress never materialized. I don’t really want to eat, but I’m just too hungry for comfort.
1:00 PM – Three hours since the first dose. If it had not been boosted, the first dose would be peaking now. And at this point, everything seems pleasantly unstable. The table corners are at off-angles, and spatial relations seem to be more assembled as in a painting than owing their order to gravity or a constant empirical structure. Things are starting to appear very Cezanne-esque. Perception is very “washy”. There aren’t the echoed tracers seen on LSD, but it is more of a smooth, slow smudging of things. Also, there are slight distortions in the viewing field that come and go. If the visual field were flattened to a vertical screen, it would appear that certain areas in the field of view become larger, brighter, or more in focus in waves.
I feel pretty good about taking the day off. It’s been a very positive experience. (And, I’m taking a vacation day, so I’m getting paid for it anyway.) None of the crazy confusion usually experienced on psilocybin. I can’t really focus on small font size right now, but I think that’s more of a case of not really caring to at this point. Where a dissociative will put one into a confused dream not knowing you are under the influence, mescaline makes perception very dream-like, but leaves the dreamer more lucid and aware that he is under the influence of exactly 400mg of mescaline citrate, as a matter of fact. Also noteworthy is that the cat now has ten times as much hair as she usually has.
2:00 PM – For a second, I thought perceived time had resumed its regular pace, but then I realized that it has only been four hours since I took the first dose. It has only been three hours since the second dose, which should be peaking now. This trip is lasting forever. But that’s okay, because it’s really great.
I do not want to put mescaline up for judgement of being more intellectually interesting or physically euphoric, because it’s both. It does seem rather self-indulgent in both senses, but that’s okay for a day off. That’s just what the doctor ordered, actually. A pleasant, fun, a life-affirming all-around good time.
Time for some cookies and coffee. (Just have to remember to set the timer, or else I would forget about the cookies until next year.)
Outside, the rain has stopped, but the fog has rolled in to obscure most things, leaving the imagination to fill in the blanks between the trees. The wetness has deepened the contrast of lights and darks. There are a lot of shimmering branches in the pinks and blues of the fog. Hot cookies and ice-cold milk are so good, but I can only stomach two cookies.
3:00 PM – The glow now feels similar to what I remember from previous LSD experiences. It has that familiar tripping feeling, and I am definitely still in the thick of it. If this were psilocybin, the effects would have crested by now, but mescaline holds the plateau for quite some time. Add that physical reality to the perceived effect of time being stretched, and it seems to go on forever. And like I said before, a day on the beach with someone special would be perfect.
After I begin to relax and things start seeping in past my guard, I start to take the abnormal as ordinary. Not that I would try to fly out a window or give life to any urban legends, but I begin to link ideas in unconventional ways. Still, it does not feel now like anything outside of a person’s natural abilities. Tripping is profound in itself, this is true, but the guru says that similar enlightenment can also be gained through non-chemical means. So, it might just be a shortcut to get into a mindset, if anything besides fun. But that’s okay, because even at its worst evaluation, it still delivers you into a mindset nearer divine, and is a lot of fun besides.
4:00 PM – Time has definitely thawed a little, and my visual field is much less wavy. I don’t feel as if I’m over the effects yet by any means, but I believe the most intense part is now over. It’s wearing off so slowly and gradually. I’d love to take a nap at this point just to take a mental break, but that isn’t an option yet. I feel that the experience has turned a little deeper and more serious. Not negative by any means, but I might be emotionally tired of being happy. I am almost at an emotional “baseline” level. Walls are still expanding and doors are still breathing, so it’s not through with me yet. I am definitely still tripping.
Meditation seems to come quite easily. Closed eye visuals are very light, but include overlays of red webs and flashes of intricate patterns with repeating iridescent spots of color. Sensitivity to emotions now also seems amplified. When considering particularly emotionally ideas, it seems that I can feel jolts of hormones, adrenaline or neurotransmitters of one sort or another, coursing through me. I feel very alive, like a living biochemical machine.
5:00 PM – The wind is starting to pick up again outside. As I walk around, I feel like I’m stuffed with polyfill. I don’t feel much of anything except euphoria, really. I just need to cut down on the marijuana consumption because I am coughing a lot and it is hard to tell how much of that chest congestion (if any) is attributable to the mescaline. On the other hand, absolutely nothing could feel better right now than smoking a bowl, so that’s what I do. My emotions thaw and melt. There always seems to be some underlying stress unless actively relaxing. Of course, you can’t live in a totally relaxed state. You’d need people to feed and bathe you. But, I digress.
I do feel just the slightest bit of stress in my inner thighs. I’d love to do some yoga... if somebody else could do it for me. Maybe what I want is one of those full-body stretch-massages by a very strong, beautiful woman. But, I’ll just try to yawn it out instead. So, I yawned until I started squeezing out tears. Yeah, I’m a pathetically lazy bastard at this point, but I just feel so good right now that I honestly don’t care. I’m happy.
6:00 PM – I probably won’t be able to relay much more pertinent information that would apply generally, aside from maybe the duration of the effects. In that regard, the strong euphoria is slowly, slowly wearing off, and is expected to slowly continue wearing off for the next several hours. I’m still very much under the influence, but I believe that I can focus on a task well enough to start dinner.
The wind outside has lifted away the fog, leaving the dark, wet trees to make stark impressions on the visual canvas outside the window. The movement in the branches is seen to be so very dramatic. It is a strange sensation to be waking up as I am growing progressively more tired.
7:00 PM – It’s dark outside, and the effects are continuing to slowly wear off. The occasional flash of pattern still intrudes upon the visual field, but it feels that most of the drug has worn off. Paradoxically, that relaxation seems to make visuals even more strange because they are unexpected. Overall, this has been a very enjoyable experience. I didn’t get much done aside from the full enjoyment of a day off, but today that was all I was looking for. I wasn’t after a nail-biting search for deeper meaning in the universe. I just wanted to spend the day tripping without a lot of stressful body load. And to that, I say mission accomplished. My appetite is now definitely back. Dinner was especially tasty.
8:00 PM – The unseasonably warm wind outside makes it a very comfortable evening. Most of the effects from the mescaline seem to have worn off, but in the dim light of evening the shades of clouds still have fractured cartoon images overlaid on top of them.
9:00 PM – More of the same with less intensity. The rain has picked up again, making outdoors inhospitable. Not much to report from this point on. The effects should just continue to weaken. I am still very high, and the visual contrast between light and dark is still very high, but I would say that most of the proper “tripping” is done. Now it’s just the strong but fading afterglow. I am a bit tired now, but I still feel really, really good. I am glad that I started so early in the morning, because I am ready for a good night’s sleep.
9:00 AM – Next morning. I slept well, and woke up early feeling good. I feel as if I have hit an internal reset button. I am sure that after a while, I will wind myself up with the usual stress again, but for now I feel very grounded. I can still feel the mescaline gently clinging, but it feels good. I don’t anticipate the after effects to have a negative impact on my day. Remembering last night is like recalling events from last year’s vacation. There was obviously some level of confusion because the report I wrote was a bit disjointed. The confusion is matched with an apathetic euphoria, so it is quickly dismissed if noticed at all. I organize my thoughts a little, and touch up the report while it is still fresh in my mind.
Following day: I went over the report again and found many more redundancies of themes and phrase. While proofreading the first time, I found it especially hard focusing the syntax describing the period of heaviest tripping. The emotional impact of that time definitely influenced the description of it on the page, and the perception of that description when reading it back. The drug can be very transparent, affecting in almost imperceptible ways not noticed until viewed in hindsight from a sober state.
Edited by 04281969 (03/06/08 08:09 PM)
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