I've been travelling in India and Nepal for 5 months now, and I've had many strange, mindblowing and enlightening experiences. The last one being a DMT session in my room, guided by a funny Russian guy that I met the day before.
Just after sunset, I loaded my pipe with some ash and an eigth gram of dmt. I sat in meditation pose on my bed, and Satori was sitting next to me. I turned off the lights and took some hits. Unfortunately, I didn't feel anything at all after this. I smoked another one, with tobacco. This felt much worse on my lungs so I think that's a good thing.. After this I felt stoned, happy and relaxed, but not tripping! Mind you, Satori bought this from an Indian, so it might as well have been only half of what they promised: you never know!
Satori went to his room and showed me some better quality, lighter colored dmt. I snorted this. Effects!
I sat in meditation again, and felt my body getting heavier and heavier. After a little while my head is hanging to the front or to a side (no idea...), and I'm barely aware of my body anymore. It feels really strange, I can't feel at all in which position I am, and I feel almost like I'm gliding in and out of my body. The trip-effect comes in waves: something strange happens, and after that I think 'Wow!' or 'What was that?', and then I'm allowing it to take me over again.
Strangely, I don't have so many visuals, but the feelings are weird enough. When I focus on my breathing, it feels like the whole universe is breathing through me. Then, with an exhalation, an endless stream of gates (maybe a little bit like tibetan monastry-gates) shoots away from me in its curly way into infinity.
The sound of the fan changes into 2 rapidly spinning flowers, that move slowly from behind my head to both of my ears, and the sound gets very loud. I split into three: two 'ghost-arnes' at either side of me. I look upon a shining light in front of the 'middle me', from 3 sides at the same time! And I can even see the 'seeing' as a stream of energy flowing from the 3 sides.
Everything feels very natural, and although I feel a little bit stoned, at the same time I feel quite sober.
Then I feel the top of my head being open (imaging bart simpsons head, but without the top) and there's a lot of work going on above me: little creatures (I don't know what they look like: I didn't see them, but just felt like they were there - I imagine them being lemmings :p) working, and letting a thick fluid like cement flow into my head.
I imagine my body as a marionet without strings, a puppet. My mind is in my head and is shaped in such a way that my soul (a very small dot) can hold it all up (that's why when you're dead your body is powerless and useless).
After this (and more, but I forgot some of it), I feel myself getting more and more sober. I keep lying in my bed for some time until I don't feel the effects anymore.
I smoke a big joint of Nepali grass, and lie down again. I challenge Kali (the Indian goddess-mother, who has a chain of skulls around her neck and a freshly severed head in her hand) to rip me apart and terrify me to death. I hoped for ego death on my trip, but it didn't come, so now I like to experiment what might happen. I'm not afraid anymore: the dmt wasn't as intense at all as I expected.
It works, I start to get really scared and feel really uncomfortable. But there's something strange: it feels like my thoughts and ego are scared, but at the same time there's this presence of my true Self (of which I found out 3 weeks ago that it's the Real Me: the neverending ocean of wisdom that is deep inside), just observing in peace.
But still, I'm succeeding in making myself really afraid. When it get's really intense, and I almost start having hallucinations, I turn my head the other way (first I was facing left - now right), and just think 'Ooooooohhhhhmmmmm' for a few seconds, and feel totally in peace and relaxed.
After this, I turn my head up and enjoy and reflect on what just happened. I hear 'We are the champions' by queen playing, but I have no idea if it's real or not. I don't care. It's been intense and beautiful, and I know in some way (although I don't know which way exactly) I learnt a lot of this.
Then I listen to some shpongle (the drumsolo in Divine Moments of Truth is amazing!). I find a loophole in time: I feel like I can stop time for as long as I want. This is a really strange, peaceful feeling.
Then I think: when I stop time for a loooong time, maybe after a while I will deliberately create a 'life': a dream that seems so real that it seems like 80 years, so I can live an entire life.
This is probably what 'god' did: it must be boring to stay in such a peaceful emptiness for a long time, you need some suffering! So just create the illusion of a life. And the most brilliant thing of all: make yourself forget who you really are and that it's all a dream!
Edited by arne (05/10/08 05:32 AM)
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