Jeez, I have 3 posts on the front page. Sorry if Im over posting or something, but this trip was incredible and Im really dying for others input/opinions on this trip! This is really long, so bear with me!
This was my second time taking shrooms (with the same friend from my first time). I’m not going to go into
detail on the visuals (though they were epic) or body high (which was irritating) , because this trip was more about the talking. I had just gotten back from a trip to California that afternoon, so (as usual) I was pretty sleep deprived. We both made sure not to eat much that day, so this was on a completely empty stomach.
Our sitter ended up not being let off of work, and our replacement ended up having to go home, so we decided to do them alone (based off my past experience with shrooms, and my reaction to all drugs I’ve ever taken, I felt pretty confident that I could handle it). We got back to my dorm after picking them up (along with some food) and just dived in around 7:30.
My orange juice was expired, so we went up to the vending machine, but it didn’t take fives. We then went to this little grill thing, but it was closed. Then we saw a change machine, but it was broken. We decided to just get a movie (at a rental box thing) and went back to my dorm. This all took about 15 minutes, and on the walk back to my dorm my friend started getting a stomach ache.
Once we got back to my dorm I thought I saw a stack of books fall of my desk. We were stunned at the speed since last time it took nearly an hour. We decided to try and watch death at a funeral, but the shrooms were starting to hit hard and by the time we got it started we were gone. We were way too distracted by everything to watch the movie so we turned it off.
At this point our ability to use technology failed and we were having a really hard time moving his computer. We went to my computer and started watching the winamp visualizer (which I got working fairly quickly). But everything (everything) was distracting us so we just listened to some music and talked.
We started talking about whatever we thought of, and then decided to record these deep thoughts (the recording is hilarious, but really stupid). At this point we noticed that time was slowing to a crawl. My friend was afraid time would stop, but eventually (after what literally seemed like 3 hours) 20 minutes passed and 9 o clock came.
At this point I had completely lost my ‘self’ (ego loss? I truly don't know, but I'm still experiencing it mildly lol) and we started talking about friendship, what it was, etc. We determined that we were best friends. We just kept talking about whatever, and we were having a good and laughing time. I kept trying to talk about how you don’t notice the walls, ceiling, or floor, in everyday life, and that you’re just in a space; but I would go off on a tangent for (literally) everything thing I said.
Around this time, there was a constant background noise (besides the music) and all of this pleasant nonexistent lighting. Then we started talking about education, and things got much darker.
College education is mostly worthless. I could go out and get a basic pencil pushing job with my current skill set and do the work perfectly well. Why does discussing Dante help me with whatever job I get? And besides that, we aren’t learning anything. In high school we learned things, but in college we don’t.
I realize now that: We are learning plenty of stuff; I always knew that college was solely to get a piece of paper, and that Dante is part of a well rounded education (and I like learning in general). I didn’t realize this then though, and the happy background noise disappeared. So did the happy lighting. It turned into what I am going to call a bad trip (I think that’s how most people would interpret it, but I’m not sure. It was dysphoria at the very least). It wasn’t scary or anything; it was just uncomfortable, irritating, and dark. My loss of self didn’t help.
We kept talking about everything imaginable, tangents and all, but I don’t remember most of it because I was hanging out inside my head, dealing with my 'bad' trip. My dorm room got really small, and I realized that my entire life is encased in this 20x20 room (I have a really big dorm lol), but at the time it looked like 10x10 and was shrinking. I’ve realized that my entire life was confined to this room for a long time, but I guess when I’m tripping I ‘realize’ things that I already knew and take them out of context.
Then I was wondering who my friend really was, like, we don’t really know each other that well, but we hang out all the time (I think this is mostly because he just dyed his hair black, and I’ve been used to it being reddish brown for most of my life (we’ve known each other a long time, but we haven’t really been friends for a lot of it(parenthesis in parenthesis, crazy mirite?)))
My friend all of a sudden went to the bathroom and didn’t come out for awhile, so I spent like 3 minutes trying to find my flip flops so I could go see what he was doing. This pulled me out of the bad a little, because it was hilarious that I couldn’t find my flip flops (which were in plain view). As I expected he was just staring at himself in the mirror, so I joined him. I really hate looking at myself when I’m high. I just don't look like me. It's not like I look any different, I'm just not meand I still had the self loss so I didn’t even really recognize my nonself. I was just staring at some guy in a mirror, and I didn't like him. Then my suitemates opened their door just to see what we were doing.
Somehow they didn’t realize we were tripping balls and just thought we were stoned. I asked them about their spring break but I still couldn’t focus and that conversation fell apart. We went back to my room and continued to talk. It had only been like 2 hours at this point which was incredible because we thought that time had been ‘fixed’ already. My friend got afraid that time would stop again, and we kept talking.
I still wasn’t paying attention because I was trying to examine my feelings about this girl I’m hung up on. But I couldn’t. I would try and think about her, but a part of me would stop me from succeeding. I just sat there and thought about thinking about her. I would say her name, think of her face, but I just couldn't connect. I have no idea if there is some truly deep reason underlying that or what, any ideas?
At this point my friend realized that our conversation was ridiculously dark (I pointed it out lol) so I suggested we try and watch a simple and funny movie: I Spy. We could not get it to work for the life of us though lol. Turned out the disk was dirty, but we only figured that out after like half an hour. During this time, I noticed that ‘fuck’ just didn’t look right. It was ugly (we were also trying to talk to a friend on msn). I don't have a problem with cursing, but it just looked wrong.
By the time we finally got the movie started my trip was wearing down (3 and a halfish hours after ingestion) which gave me the clarity of mind to focus on single things. This was good because I could watch the movie, and bad because I started reflecting on how I had felt during the trip and it made me really depressed and angry.
By the end of the movie we were both tired. My friend was still tripping slightly, but I was sober (my whole trip was about 4 hours start to finish, but it felt longer than the 12 hour road trip I had been on earlier that day). My friend wanted to go home and sleep, but I convinced him to stay and watch death at a funeral just so I could be sure he would be sober. By the time it was over, color was still vivid for him, but he was safe to drive (I swear).
He left, and I angrily got ready for bed. When I woke up it took me 20 minutes to get out of bed from lack of motivation and depression. Then I took a 40 minute shower because I had no motivation to clean myself. During this time my mind was pretty empty, I just kept thinking about how the night had been really weird.
Most of the next day I was really depressed and angry and I had to go to Easter dinner which didn’t help. I ended up in a great mood and was able to accurately reflect upon the night.
I learned some really interesting things about myself I suppose, but as for reality, I didn’t come to any amazing conclusions. It was still a really fun night though, and a great experience.
I would really love to hear anyone's thoughts on any part of this and sorry again if I'm over posting lol.
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And the sun's fire is burning the world; the island is gone.
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