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Anonymous #1
Unregistered
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 Is it normal for friendship to hurt this much?
#8599665 - 07/06/08 02:44 AM (4 months, 28 days ago) |
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I'm not good at making friends and have spent much of my life alone.
The few times I do find a friend I usually screw it up by being paranoid and possessive.
Sometimes I feel that having friends is too emotionally draining for me. Even when I logically know that they have done nothing wrong, there is still this feeling of betrayal, and I spend days obsessing over the fact that they didn't pick up the phone two times in a row. This is clearly unhealthy.
The only times that I feel perfectly at ease is when I have no friends, just vague acquaintances around me, people I know I can't count on.
Is it possible to learn how to trust people or am I better off being alone for the rest of my life?
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 Shroomsbrrr
Frequent visitor
Registered: 09/30/04
Posts: 279
Last seen: 9 hours, 10 minutes
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Re: Is it normal for friendship to hurt this much? [Re: Anonymous #1]
#8599728 - 07/06/08 03:15 AM (4 months, 28 days ago) |
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Friends are a love hate relationship, just like life. Either something good or something bads gonna happen. You cant predict which and you cant help it. Friends come through in the bad and can fuck you over in the best of times. I can hate my friends one day but love them the next the most important thing in finding friends is how much there willing to put up with your shit. Especially if there honest with what they say and think and dont let you go on thinking like a moron. This is prolly drunken rambling but take it as you will.
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imagine
Random Shroomerite
Registered: 09/24/05
Posts: 355
Last seen: 2 hours, 11 minutes
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Re: Is it normal for friendship to hurt this much? [Re: Shroomsbrrr]
#8599778 - 07/06/08 03:49 AM (4 months, 28 days ago) |
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have you had past experiences with friends regarding trust? try and seek for the root of the problem. trust issues even with friends can stem even from when you were very young. i've been screwed over a few times...which creates a little wall between me and even some of my close friends but...what's wrong with that? you don't have to completely trust a human being 100%. although in your case, i am aware it is effecting your entire friendship. analyze it and have some self-awareness once it occurs. find the problem.
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isaacein
exp(ix) = cosx + isinx
Registered: 05/21/08
Posts: 916
Last seen: 5 hours, 16 minutes
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Re: Is it normal for friendship to hurt this much? [Re: Anonymous #1]
#8599792 - 07/06/08 03:57 AM (4 months, 28 days ago) |
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It sounds to me like you're expecting a bit too much out of people. It's normal for others to need space. It doesn't mean they're not your friends; it actually has nothing to do with you at all. They didn't pick up the phone? Forget about it for the moment. They might not be able to, or they might want some time; it doesn't matter either way. Doesn't mean you can't trust them.
Good friends are rare, and almost impossible to lose once you have them. Learn how to count on yourself first, and then you'll learn how to trust others.
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God works in funny ways.
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Kerr Avon
not a n00b
Registered: 07/05/08
Posts: 108
Loc: Sector 5
Last seen: 4 months, 7 days
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Re: Is it normal for friendship to hurt this much? [Re: imagine]
#8599853 - 07/06/08 05:06 AM (4 months, 28 days ago) |
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Quote:
imagine said:
have you had past experiences with friends regarding trust? try and seek for the root of the problem. trust issues even with friends can stem even from when you were very young. i've been screwed over a few times...which creates a little wall between me and even some of my close friends but...what's wrong with that? you don't have to completely trust a human being 100%. although in your case, i am aware it is effecting your entire friendship. analyze it and have some self-awareness once it occurs. find the problem.
Yeah I agree with this. When I was younger (about 15/16) a (then) good friend of mine really fucked me over. I've never looked at friends the same way since. I've never and will never forgive him for it. I appreciate that sonds immature - it is. Every time I think about what would happen if I meet him again i'm stuck halfway between thinking i'd lash out and lay some major pain on him or curl up into a ball and cry like a little fucker for hurting me so much. Fucker. Most ppl are out there purely for themselves but there are some great ppl out therem you just gotta find them. Hope things pick up for you dude. 
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