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 Tchan909
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Registered: 07/11/06
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 am I a future alcoholic?
#8453295 - 05/27/08 11:43 PM (6 months, 5 days ago) |
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So, I like to drink. I get drunk almost every night, on anywhere from three to eight beers worth. I always buy the cheap, high alcohol content beers. It's not EVERY night, but a lot more often than not. This has been going on for a while now, since well before I was legal (I'm 21 now, but I started drinking when I was 18 and instantly fell in love). I've had a couple experiences where I seriously alienated women with my drunken idiocy, though I have since gotten it a bit more under control to the point where I don't let it hurt my social life - I basically just drink beers with my friends, get drunker than them and yell about stuff that they can generally agree with. But I'll also get pretty smashed by myself, on a pretty casual basis.
Recently, however, I've noticed it taking another kind of toll. There have been two occasions where I got really drunk, then thought, in spite of absolutely no prior intent or preparation, hey, wouldn't it be fun to take some acid? The feeling of coming up seemed to dispel the drunkenness and make me frustrated with myself for being stupid, but regardless I've had some great trips that way (even the time I took a tenstrip, which is the single biggest dose I've taken and not yet repeated; it was a beautiful trip, albeit tempered by my numbed and unprepared condition). In fact, in my experimentation with DMT, I found that being somewhat intoxicated made the anxiety prior to smoking that crazy stuff a lot more bearable. This rapidly proved to be a double-edged sword, however, as it is absolutely IMPOSSIBLE to keep up with a DMT trip while drunk. Acid sits around and waits for you to make up your mind about slipping into hyperspace, but DMT does not. My last trip on DMT was similar to what I described for acid; I was very drunk, and decided I would probably have a good time smoking (what I thought was) a moderate dose of DMT. But upon finishing it, I was instantly thrust into a metaphysical hell of needles and unbearable psychedelic disfigurement of my physical form. It's impossible to describe (like DMT usually is), but suffice to say it was five minutes of pure agony. It didn't leave a traumatic impression on me; only the impression that if I were to smoke DMT again I would have to be a lot fucking smarter about it. I'm on a break from psychedelics now, which is ironically a decision I made about a month after that trip. It came more from a realization that, with my lifestyle, I'm not quite prepared (mentally or physically) to dive over the precipices I've glimpsed, than any kind of traumatic reaction.
But that's neither here nor there, I'm trying to talk about my drinking.
Recently I've noticed yet ANOTHER kind of toll. When I get really drunk and go to bed, I tend to only sleep 3-5 hours before I wake up again, sober, but completely unable to go back to sleep. My hangovers are pretty mild. I usually just feel kind of spacey and lazy, and at worst I'll occasionally have a mild headache. But it is impossible to get back to sleep after 3-5 hours of sleep, which seems ridiculous. 3-5 hours is just not enough, anybody knows that. And I'm totally not a morning person - ideally I sleep as long as I humanly can. But after a night of drinking, waking up with not enough sleep, and trying to go back to sleep, I just get this jittery feeling that not even wake 'n' bake can shake. Sometimes I can get back to sleep, but wake up constantly due to frustrating, repetitive dreams. I feel pretty normal once I get up, but I don't want to get up because I know I need more sleep. I only realized today that this is something to be really concerned about - aren't jitteriness and sleeplessness signs of alcohol withdrawal? It's not like my body forces me to drink every night (on the nights I don't drink, which is one or two or three nights a week, I get great sleep and generally feel pretty good before and after). But I can't deny that I have a sort of compulsion in the evenings to drink, and then drink more. And the morning sleeplessness is just ridiculous.
Am I headed down a really bad road? I have a feeling the answer is an obvious yes. Taking that in consideration, how should I fight it? I'm not a bona fide alcoholic yet (the AA test for alcoholism tells me I'm not, which is a consolation to me), but I can easily see myself becoming one at this rate. This is not something I want to be struggling with later in my life. I really enjoy drinking, and I think it's perfectly healthy to maybe have a beer or two or three a night, as opposed to four or five or six or seven. But once those first couple are in me it's hard to stop. I've never been on this forum before, but do any of you have any similar experiences? Or, advice for me to curb this shit before I find myself covered in imaginary spiders?
Thanks to anybody who read all this drunken rambling.
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not necessarily stoned, but... beautiful.
The Albert Hofmann Collection
Doctors and other wizards are forbidden under Martian Law!
Edited by Tchan909 (05/28/08 12:08 AM)
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Floyd Anderson
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Re: am I a future alcoholic? [Re: Tchan909]
#8453407 - 05/28/08 12:19 AM (6 months, 5 days ago) |
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I feel like I wrote that post lol..
Pink Floyd pic, Jefferson Airplane quote in your sig, you like psychedelics, but probably have a lot of anxiety when thinking about them/taking them and therefore when you drink and lose that anxiety, you feel confident to do those psychadelics, you drink frequently, have tremors, sleeplessness on mornings after drinking, etc etc...
you sound like me,I'm toning down drinking now though...about 3 days a week, with maybe 2-3 days where I just have a couple beers.
Good Luck!
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Tchan909
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Registered: 07/11/06
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It's not like I frequently use alcohol to deal with that anxiety. I've tripped about a hundred times altogether on the serotonergic psychedelics. It's a very small minority of times that I was drunk for those trips.
Anxiety always seems to be a little bit present right before I trip, though. LSD is easygoing and doesn't give me much of that, but mushrooms and DMT always challenge my mind, and as such, I have anxiety leading into them. But by the time I started extracting DMT I was already well into the drinking patterns I described in my original post. All of my most intense DMT trips occurred with alcohol in my body. One of them was much more clearheaded, much more meaningful, much more incredible than the one I described, but I did have two beers in me. Even that one was a bit off-kilter, a bit panicked. The beer compensated for the fact that I was tired, did not have a clean environment, was scared, etc. I want to go back there in a cleaner mindset. But for the trip I did describe, I had SEVEN beers in me. I'm never smoking DMT drunk again. Alcohol and tryptamine psychedelics just don't mix, in any way imaginable.
Edited by Tchan909 (05/28/08 12:36 AM)
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andrewss
wünscht säure
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Re: am I a future alcoholic? [Re: Tchan909]
#8453463 - 05/28/08 12:37 AM (6 months, 5 days ago) |
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I can relate some. Funny thing is I never thought I would drink as much as I do now. Lately, like the past 7 months I have been drinking a good amount. The last few months I drink like 6/7 days probably. But I think I am ok cause I dont frequently get trashed, I think I am ok cause I only drink 4 or so beers in a night. Like 1 or twice a week I get decently drunk. I am college though, I have the means to do this for only so long tho...
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OneMoreRobot3021
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Re: am I a future alcoholic? [Re: Tchan909]
#8453711 - 05/28/08 02:17 AM (6 months, 5 days ago) |
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If I were you I'd buy more expensive, better, lower alcohol content beer, and I'd drink it half as often, and probably be twice as satisfied.
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The Drug Policy Alliance  Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies
"The psychedelic experience - it has a tremendous force to revivify the spirit, particularly because it is not an ideology. It is not something someone 'figured out.' It is an EXPERIENCE. And this is important to bear in mind." - McKenna.
"We're not mad, we're just doing what we want. You rigid thinkers can't recognize the healthy sanity of that." - Harlan Ellison, "Crackpots"
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stefan
work in progress
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Re: am I a future alcoholic? [Re: Tchan909]
#8453854 - 05/28/08 03:25 AM (6 months, 5 days ago) |
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Quote:
I get drunk almost every night, on anywhere from three to eight beers worth.
face it, you're already an alcoholic.
Quote:
There have been two occasions where I got really drunk, then thought, in spite of absolutely no prior intent or preparation, hey, wouldn't it be fun to take some acid? The feeling of coming up seemed to dispel the drunkenness and make me frustrated with myself for being stupid, but regardless I've had some great trips that way (even the time I took a tenstrip, which is the single biggest dose I've taken and not yet repeated; it was a beautiful trip, albeit tempered by my numbed and unprepared condition).
first I was happy to read that you're frustrated with that thought, but then it broke down with the 'I took it anyway'
Quote:
Am I headed down a really bad road? I have a feeling the answer is an obvious yes. Taking that in consideration, how should I fight it? I'm not a bona fide alcoholic yet (the AA test for alcoholism tells me I'm not, which is a consolation to me)
a big YES.
How should you fight it!? Stop drinking cut your losses and move on; there are other kicks in life that you can get without booze. Aparently you don't have enough self control to use in moderation so if you are serious about this please quit all drinking and find other things to do.
Don't fool yourself with some test, you ARE an alcoholic, not as bad as it could be, but you are. You probably don't fill in the test like you should either.. the test probably counts 'normal' beers and you drink huigh alcohol content beers. etc...
And now a big thumbs up  for recognizing you hjave a problem and posting it here!
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my music (myspace) -->
psytrance. chillout.
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 badchad
Stranger
Registered: 03/02/05
Posts: 2,833
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Re: am I a future alcoholic? [Re: stefan]
#8455050 - 05/28/08 11:32 AM (6 months, 4 days ago) |
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What do you do in life that allows you to "get drunk almost every night"?
I definetly couldn't do that and be productive at work. Since I work 5 days out of the week, that limits my drinking.
Find some alternatives. Maybe get a hobby? Maybe some responsibility would help (e.g. a job that starts early in the a.m.?)
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Feanor
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Re: am I a future alcoholic? [Re: badchad]
#8455324 - 05/28/08 01:09 PM (6 months, 4 days ago) |
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Wow, dude! This is a big surprise for me! 
Don't worry, though; you can overcome it. 
Here's why this came as a big surprise for me. Also, I should note that these are my personal beliefs.
Alcohol and psychedelics are on two completely different sides of the spectrum. Alcohol, in a psychological and philosophical sense, tends to reinforce the present culture that we all live in. There's a reason why alcohol is the only mind altering substance that is legal, widely available, and overtly distributed; the government, of course, is behind this. Alcohol is the battery that keeps this society, western society, running. If you think about it, pretty much everybody has a drink here and there. Alcohol, due to its dissociative nature, doesn't make one question their way of life. It simply stupefies one into accepting anything and everything they are confronted with. That's why it's so easy to get somebody to do something while they are drunk that they wouldn't ordinarily do when they are sober.
Psychedelics, on the other hand, make one question basically everything that they are confronted with. There's a reason why psychedelics quickly became the most illegal of all substances. Could western culture exist if everybody was taking psychedelics? Nope! Psychedelics allow one to transcend the preconditioning of the culturally contrived mind and return to the original wisdom of the animal mind. They are very, very powerful tools. I've never heard of anybody having a revelatory experience due to being mildly or extremely drunk.
Remember Yageman? He was an interesting character, who would post a lot in The Psychedelic Experience forum. I think most highly of him; he has penetrated many barriers, and he is definitely a very experienced psychonaut. Well, Yageman, due to his final Ayahuasca trip, went so far out there and gained so much to where he decided that he needed to stop tripping for a while. And then, what did he do? He started to drink! Why? Because he felt that alcohol made him normal! He had differed so much from the norm to where he felt too estranged, and therefore, in order to make himself feel normal, he started to drink a beer every once in a while! He said this. I found it highly interesting.
This sort of seems like your case; however, it may be completely different.
Ok. How to combat it.... I thought that you would've been able to think up that one on your own! 
LSD, throughout the psychiatric community, is renowned for combating alcoholism. Nowadays, there are Ibogaine clinics that treat chronic alcoholics. All psychedelics, in my opinion, will cure addictions. And that one molecule, the one that I consider to be a post-psychedelic, will most certainly vaporize any addiction.
Didn't you just finish extracting some beautiful N,N-DMT? 
Coincidence? I think not.
The Elves will cure you; you just need to give them the chance.
You need Elves!
--------------------
May Terence McKenna Live Long
The DMT Chronicles
Edited by Feanor (05/28/08 01:11 PM)
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WhiskeyClone
Not here
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Re: am I a future alcoholic? [Re: Tchan909]
#8455423 - 05/28/08 01:42 PM (6 months, 4 days ago) |
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Yes you are headed down a bad road. I've got several friends who have transitioned seamlessly from frequent drinking to habitual drinking to compulsive daily drinking. None of them are especially depressed or troubled, they just got too used to getting drunk regularly and now none of them can quit.
As far as I know, none of them are drinking to fill deep childhood wounds or anything like that, they just made it a regular thing for too long. These are fairly responsible, well-adjusted people, they just happen get drunk every single night.
Why do you drink?
Do you know the answer?
What do you think would happen if you did not drink?
--------------------
-oOo-
"My children," said an old man to his boys scared by a figure in the dark entry, "my children, you will never see any thing worse than yourselves." As in dreams, so in the scarcely less fluid events of the world, every man sees himself as colossal, without knowing that it is himself. The good, compared to the evil which he sees, is as his own good to his own evil.
~ R.W. Emerson, "Spiritual Laws"
-oOo-
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Tchan909
plagiarist
Registered: 07/11/06
Posts: 3,609
Loc: SF Bay Area
Last seen: 7 hours, 1 minute
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Quote:
Feanor said:
Alcohol and psychedelics are on two completely different sides of the spectrum. Alcohol, in a psychological and philosophical sense, tends to reinforce the present culture that we all live in. There's a reason why alcohol is the only mind altering substance that is legal, widely available, and overtly distributed; the government, of course, is behind this. Alcohol is the battery that keeps this society, western society, running. If you think about it, pretty much everybody has a drink here and there. Alcohol, due to its dissociative nature, doesn't make one question their way of life. It simply stupefies one into accepting anything and everything they are confronted with. That's why it's so easy to get somebody to do something while they are drunk that they wouldn't ordinarily do when they are sober.
I agree with these points very strongly. If you look at history it seems very clear that alcohol is the drug that killed psychedelics. Once word spread of how to produce the cheap, no-maintenance high of alcohol, the interest of the general population in the sophisticated, shaman-mediated high of psychedelics fell by the wayside, and it's odd to see how much it's reflected in our culture.
Quote:
Remember Yageman? He was an interesting character, who would post a lot in The Psychedelic Experience forum. I think most highly of him; he has penetrated many barriers, and he is definitely a very experienced psychonaut. Well, Yageman, due to his final Ayahuasca trip, went so far out there and gained so much to where he decided that he needed to stop tripping for a while. And then, what did he do? He started to drink! Why? Because he felt that alcohol made him normal! He had differed so much from the norm to where he felt too estranged, and therefore, in order to make himself feel normal, he started to drink a beer every once in a while! He said this. I found it highly interesting.
Wow, I knew he seemed to transition from heavy tripping to heavy drinking, but I had no idea it was to be "more normal." I feel like I've always waged a semiconscious battle against normalcy, so I can't say I drink to be more normal (though I can DEFINITELY see how that would work). I just drink because it feels good, especially after a day at work.
Quote:
Didn't you just finish extracting some beautiful N,N-DMT?
Coincidence? I think not.
Somehow, this is a tricky point for me. I'm a little bit afraid of the spice right now, and I don't know if it's because of the alcohol that was in me when I smoked it last (a good while ago now) or the phase that my life is in right now. I find it very difficult to find a time to sit down, breathe, not be worried about anything, not be exhausted from one thing or another. But honestly, I can't wait to smoke DMT again, and I'm really just waiting for that little twinge in my head that tells me it's the perfect time to trip. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about.
Quote:
WhiskeyClone said:
What do you think would happen if you did not drink?
Generally, on the nights I don't drink, I feel clear-headed and light-bodied... really good, actually. Which is exactly why now is the time for me to stop.
And if I want a placeholder intoxication, I can simply turn to my old best friend Mary Jane. 
Thanks for all the replies, guys. And thanks Stefan, for that perfectly blunt ass-kicker of a reply. It feels good to talk about this.
--------------------
not necessarily stoned, but... beautiful.
The Albert Hofmann Collection
Doctors and other wizards are forbidden under Martian Law!
Edited by Tchan909 (05/28/08 06:29 PM)
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Huehuecoyotl
Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 9,165
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Re: am I a future alcoholic? [Re: Tchan909]
#8456570 - 05/28/08 06:24 PM (6 months, 4 days ago) |
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I indulged in alcoholism for 15 years, and I would say that you are an alcoholic now. The future is irrelevant. Act now.
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"A man of knowledge lives by acting, not by thinking about acting." - Carlos Castaneda
www.warriorfusion.org
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Feanor
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Re: am I a future alcoholic? [Re: Tchan909]
#8456677 - 05/28/08 06:47 PM (6 months, 4 days ago) |
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Yes, I do know what you are talking about! A good DMT Breakthrough will change your life in ways you may have never thought possible. Most certainly, it has the potential to break your addiction with alcohol.
Good luck!
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May Terence McKenna Live Long
The DMT Chronicles
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Tangerines
iz
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Re: am I a future alcoholic? [Re: Tchan909]
#8456771 - 05/28/08 07:06 PM (6 months, 4 days ago) |
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Nah, you are fine.
Drinking daily is so frowned down upon in American culture. 
Look overseas. They drink daily. It is just this new age bullshit along the same lines as bullshit diseases such as ADD etc.
As long as it does not start effecting your life in drastically negative ways then you are fine.
Better than being a pothead imo anyways. Pot makes me feel dumb and groggy while alcohol does not. Better than being a sloth and glutton as well.
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'88 till infinity...
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aDoS
freedom lover
Registered: 06/18/05
Posts: 5,362
Loc: land of the free
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Re: am I a future alcoholic? [Re: Tangerines]
#8457323 - 05/28/08 09:14 PM (6 months, 4 days ago) |
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I agree with Tangerines.
I think as long as you don't need to drink to go to work or start the day, you are fine.
People in the U.S. like to use alcohol as a way to discredit people and its really lame. Until you dependent on alcohol to do daily activities, you are not an alcoholic.
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 GIVE ME OPIATES OR GIVE ME DEATH
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BigP
Strangest
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Re: am I a future alcoholic? [Re: aDoS]
#8458099 - 05/29/08 12:09 AM (6 months, 4 days ago) |
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Listen to feanor. Take a DMT adventure and let the entities tell you about yourself. I will sometime in the near future as well.
Remember, as the psychedelic person that you are...understand that you have created a strong third eye in which you view reality better then anyone YOU have been before in the past. Your mind is a powerful tool, cut alcohol off, and think about the future. Ignore those jitters, dint replace it with any other drug, if you feel like a drink go take a walk or run, hell get on and post on here, post insight to people who need it. Then after a week, go see those elves.
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BigP out the back!!
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WhiskeyClone
Not here
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Re: am I a future alcoholic? [Re: aDoS]
#8458622 - 05/29/08 05:33 AM (6 months, 4 days ago) |
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Quote:
aDoS said:
I agree with Tangerines.
I think as long as you don't need to drink to go to work or start the day, you are fine.
People in the U.S. like to use alcohol as a way to discredit people and its really lame. Until you dependent on alcohol to do daily activities, you are not an alcoholic.
This is what mild alcoholics say to themselves as they become serious alcoholics.
If you drink compulsively, you are an alcoholic.
--------------------
-oOo-
"My children," said an old man to his boys scared by a figure in the dark entry, "my children, you will never see any thing worse than yourselves." As in dreams, so in the scarcely less fluid events of the world, every man sees himself as colossal, without knowing that it is himself. The good, compared to the evil which he sees, is as his own good to his own evil.
~ R.W. Emerson, "Spiritual Laws"
-oOo-
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alphabeatu
Sire
Registered: 11/07/07
Posts: 2,347
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i dont drink at all and im an alcoholic
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i need names and addresses of narc members
pm for details
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Tchan909
plagiarist
Registered: 07/11/06
Posts: 3,609
Loc: SF Bay Area
Last seen: 7 hours, 1 minute
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Re: am I a future alcoholic? [Re: alphabeatu]
#8459931 - 05/29/08 02:42 PM (6 months, 3 days ago) |
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I think the European drinking culture is quite classy and healthy. They like to drop by the pub and have a pint with lunch, then have a glass of wine with dinner.
I like to get a 12-pack of Steel Reserves after work and kill it in a night or two.
It's not the same, and I'm stopping while I still have control.
--------------------
not necessarily stoned, but... beautiful.
The Albert Hofmann Collection
Doctors and other wizards are forbidden under Martian Law!
Edited by Tchan909 (05/29/08 02:45 PM)
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backfromthedead
Activated
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Re: am I a future alcoholic? [Re: Tchan909]
#8459953 - 05/29/08 02:47 PM (6 months, 3 days ago) |
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It's not the same, and I'm stopping while I still have control.
Good for you man. I watched alcohol destroy my entire extended family.
The shit is not needed. Especially on a psychedelic path, imo.
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Feanor
Shipwright
Registered: 05/07/06
Posts: 1,416
Loc: Under The Fig Tree
Last seen: 10 days, 13 hours
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Quote:
WhiskeyClone said:
Quote:
aDoS said:
I agree with Tangerines.
I think as long as you don't need to drink to go to work or start the day, you are fine.
People in the U.S. like to use alcohol as a way to discredit people and its really lame. Until you dependent on alcohol to do daily activities, you are not an alcoholic.
This is what mild alcoholics say to themselves as they become serious alcoholics.
If you drink compulsively, you are an alcoholic.
--------------------
May Terence McKenna Live Long
The DMT Chronicles
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