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 ZackWyldeFan
Stranger
Registered: 11/27/06
Posts: 111
Last seen: 3 months, 11 days
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 personality loss.
#8379886 - 05/08/08 10:32 PM (6 months, 20 days ago) |
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is there a way to cure personality loss? for about 4 years now ive ben without one. things that should be funny or that are funny I cant show convincable emotion. its also made it harder for people to "read" me if you will. people will try to joke with me and I have to force myself to crack a smile. I am also monotoned, I have to realy emphasize what im saying so I dont seem dull and depressed.
I get depressed quite often but when im not I cant show real emotion. could isolation cause this? about 2 yeasr 4 years back maybe more I didnt have any real contact or long conversations with anybody. I did talk to my family but breifly. I have always ben monotoned but Ive noticed its getting to be more of a ruting that I cant break. I am also extremly quiet. some days it seems I can talk perfectly to people, but then the next day I will have the worst social skills, and not be able to talk correctly to people. I spend about 98% of my time and thoughts in my head, Ive noticed my thoughts inside are more vivid and fluent. in my head I can talk and act like myself, But I cant show it physicaly to others. is this normal? and if no is there a way to correct this?
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 Cameron
perma-stone
Registered: 10/31/07
Posts: 2,143
Loc: Canada
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Are you self-medicating at all? I know that weed has a huge dissociative effect on me when I indulge too often.
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ZackWyldeFan
Stranger
Registered: 11/27/06
Posts: 111
Last seen: 3 months, 11 days
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Re: personality loss. [Re: Cameron]
#8380107 - 05/08/08 11:14 PM (6 months, 20 days ago) |
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I have before, I quit smoking a month ago. even sober and well im like this. im not sure what wrong. I also have the symptoms as stated in the post "im fading". a contstant feeling of dispair, and emptyness and complete social loss.
Edited by ZackWyldeFan (05/08/08 11:17 PM)
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DimensionX
Registered: 09/26/07
Posts: 1,447
Last seen: 8 hours, 43 minutes
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Listening to music could help. Stuff which really stimulates your emotions. Isolation can definitely do it to you. You will notice if you talk with people who live in institutions they have the same problem because they are isolated and there is no stimulation in those places. You need lots of stimulation to bring you back. Listening to heaps of music and doing exercise which get your adrenaline going like riding a bike really fast. Also seeing a doctor could help.
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Pilfering through that sordid catalogue you call your mind
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shaggy101
in love with a8000 mile widewoman
Registered: 08/16/00
Posts: 1,766
Loc: ..still waiting for godot
Last seen: 4 months, 13 days
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hey,ZackWyldeFan
( sweet guitarist btw!! )
lemme post this recklessly..
but as much as that sucks
have you considered the change as possibly positive?..
may I reccomend Lao Tzu?
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=taoism&btnG=Google+Search
pretty much all im gettin at is
A. ive been there, and mayeven be there again
and
B. maybe this loss of personality
is more of a doorway to change
than a wall of nothing..
one thing I am sure of is that attitude is completely, altimately determined by freewill,
therefore I say if you are not sure of self
why not invent self
sounds more exciting than anything else to me..
if I may ask you a question..
How old are You?
I ask because fact is if you ask most people who have lived awhile
they will(at least the cool healthy ones) for the most part, definetly identify with this post, and what you are saying.
change is inevitable.
and you are changing, from my all around opinion of you from your writing, for the better..
so.. fuck it!
fear not right?
if there is no one physically
around who you can express yourself to.. and be open with then
chill
with us at the shroomery!
peace and shroomyness ZackWyldeFan..
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ZackWyldeFan
Stranger
Registered: 11/27/06
Posts: 111
Last seen: 3 months, 11 days
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Re: personality loss. [Re: shaggy101]
#8381119 - 05/09/08 09:23 AM (6 months, 20 days ago) |
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Im 21, it maybe a change. It sure doesnt feel like one, but as you stated it can be slow and painfull. the strange thing is, and I think it is the loss of being stimulated. Ive gained a hightened sence mentally. I spend more time in my head, almost like I can go there whenever I want. its kinda hard to explain, when ever I think of a situation in my head its more vivid and seems more real..
I usually listen to music, I Do do exersizes. But when I start doing good and getting in shape and feeling good, My motivation drops to zero. its strange, but ill try and find more things that can realy stimulate my emotions, ill keep in mind also to just say fuck it.and roll with it.
lol, yea I have no friends right now except for the fellow friends at the shroomery. Ill keep posted and ill check out Lao Tzu.
thanks for the suggestions shaggy and DX.
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PyroBurns
Wake up to find out
Registered: 10/14/07
Posts: 1,884
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Get out of your head and get outside.
I have the exact same problem. Pretty much after my dad ditched me I've been a complete recluse. I could go half a year or more without hanging out with anyone outside of the family. My personality became stilted (Overly polite in a subconsious effort to assert boundries. Too much etiquitte and no soul.) or just pure unadultered nothing.
A good way to nurture this behavior is to keep doing it. Try to get out and talk to various people, and try harder to talk about more personal things rather than innocent small talk.
And get the fuck out of your head. As someone who spent years and years of doing nothing but thinking, I know what a prison it can be. You CAN think too much. All that analyzing is a good way to make yourself neurotic. Do not let yourself be trapped by your thoughts because they aren't relevant 80% of the time.
I'm trying as hard as I can to follow this advice right now.
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Remember to cut your nails regularly.
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WhiskeyClone
Not here
Registered: 06/25/01
Posts: 13,777
Loc: Longitudinal Center of Ca...
Last seen: 14 minutes, 1 second
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Quote:
ZackWyldeFan said:
Im 21, it maybe a change. It sure doesnt feel like one, but as you stated it can be slow and painfull. the strange thing is, and I think it is the loss of being stimulated. Ive gained a hightened sence mentally. I spend more time in my head, almost like I can go there whenever I want. its kinda hard to explain, when ever I think of a situation in my head its more vivid and seems more real..
This is familiar to me. I used to spend most of my time in my head, because it was comfortable and I could not be judged by others. Whenever I felt uncomfortable, I would slip into some mental fantasy or internal dialogue, and I would feel relieved temporarily. But living in your head leads to all kinds of Hell. Medicating yourself with thinking becomes a bad habit, then an addiction. Thoughts distort reality, and make it hostile. Ideally you want to think as little as possible.
You won't experience peace or comfort with yourself until you can get out of your head. If you don't pay attention to what is happening around you, your thoughts steal your attention and continue to ramble on indefinitely, polluting your head with self-limiting prejudices and fears. Regular meditation will develop your ability to do notice this tendency and reduce its effects on your life. Certain books on this subject are absolutely priceless.
I recommend:
Wherever you go, there you are - Jon Kabat-Zinn
Full Catastrophe Living - Jon Kabat-Zinn
A New Earth - Eckhart Tolle
The Power of Now - Eckhart Tolle
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-oOo-
A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines. With consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do. He may as well concern himself with his shadow on the wall. Speak what you think now in hard words, and to-morrow speak what to-morrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict every thing you said to-day. -- `Ah, so you shall be sure to be misunderstood.' -- Is it so bad, then, to be misunderstood? Pythagoras was misunderstood, and Socrates, and Jesus, and Luther, and Copernicus, and Galileo, and Newton, and every pure and wise spirit that ever took flesh. To be great is to be misunderstood.
~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"
-oOo-
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MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs
 
Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 7,271
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 32 minutes, 26 seconds
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I am curious about why you want to socialize. Is it because you feel the need to have friends, hang out with them and have different kinds of conversations, or is it because you just think you have to do that because everyone else does it? Because if it's only because that's what you're supposed to do, maybe it isn't your thing or maybe not just yet. 
I think that when you really feel the need for a human contact, everything just comes out naturally and you don't have to "work" on achieving it.
However, if you're in a situation where you feel deep anxiety when you're in public, perhaps you might wanna change that since it indicates the presence of a fear which is detrimental to your well-being. Just don't expect for this change to take place over night, and don't get angry because of your failed attempts, it only makes things even worse for you.
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This party is old and uninviting
Participants all in black and white
You enter in fullblown technicolor
Nothing is the same after tonight 
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mickdawg666
wake up! youvegot sickle cell
Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 2,375
Loc: hb, cali
Last seen: 7 hours, 55 minutes
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ZackWyldeFan
I can totally relate with you. I experience that same inconsistency in feelings of social adequacy where one day you feel just fine talking with people, and ideas flow to you, to other moments where you don't know what to say, or how to respond to people. Its especially frustrating because you know that you have the ability to do so, but feel limited by your current state of mind for some reason, like certain neurons simply arent firing or something. Some nights I will see friends after a long day and they will ask me whats up, what did you do today? and I will not be able to even think of a response, 'nothin much...'. Then ill think to myself, dude I did so much shit, why cant I come up with a story, something? Seriously it feels sometimes like my brain isnt working, or its numb or something, where other times its totally active and I dont have to think hard at all to talk with others.. it becomes natural. I see other people who have the ability to express themselves naturally all the time (or so it seems) and I want to know hoooow their brain works to allow that kind of constancy in functioning.
Im not sure what caused such feelings, perhaps unique experiences with drugs, or prolonged periods of isolation, or perhaps the tendency to become introverted. I would really like to start writing a journal to log every time this happens to possible try and find a pattern of occurrence.
What I can say is that there have been times where I worked hard to be mentally stable, through meditation, exercise, and especially reading. When doing these things consistently I know for sure that I feel more comfortable in social situations. When I am drinking night after night, not exercising, eating crap food and the like, I seem to fall into a pattern of anxious thoughts. I think it would also be a good idea to start reflecting on the events in your day, pick out several situations that you found particularly interesting, and write about them in a journal. Reflecting this much on a thought I think helps you practice it over and over again, in a conversational tone that is more congruent to social situations than ruminating in your mind about thoughts.
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Teh PYrAmId 0f zerg:
/ \
/ Pk's \
/Anti-Pks\
/ Cr@f73r5 \
/__NOOBIES__\
notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "
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