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 MOTH
Who, me?
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 18,415
Loc: Bridge of Flesh
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 Disconnection with family
#8600518 - 07/06/08 11:50 AM (4 months, 27 days ago) |
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I haven't spoken or seen my grandparents on both sides of my family in years. They live in PA - I'm near Boston. Recently while talking to my mom, she told me that my grandmother asked her why I choose to segregate myself from the family. It got me thinking.
The truth is...I am uncomfortable around my grandparents. My favorite grandfather has lost his mind, doesn't recognize anyone anymore, pretty much gone. His wife, my grandmother, is a nervous wreck, always crying and spouting fear. My OTHER grandparents, just sit in front of the TV all day, watching the news, feeling upset that the world is going to hell.
I don't feel good when I'm around them.
But maybe I should make an effort to visit them or something. 
Do you visit your parents/grandparents a lot?
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 Justice_Fish
Fustice_Jish
Registered: 01/06/07
Posts: 1,923
Loc: Québec
Last seen: 21 minutes, 43 seconds
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 Re: Disconnection with family [Re: MOTH]
#8600529 - 07/06/08 11:55 AM (4 months, 27 days ago) |
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No, I don't very much
But I'm okay with it
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MHbound
Ballin Out At All Cost
Registered: 09/24/07
Posts: 4,207
Loc: Under The Rainbow
Last seen: 1 hour, 10 minutes
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Re: Disconnection with family [Re: Justice_Fish]
#8600585 - 07/06/08 12:14 PM (4 months, 27 days ago) |
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Well unfortunately all of my grandparents have passed on. When they were alive I visited my grandmother who sat in front of the tv, and couldn't go outside because of her breathing from smoking maybe once a week I tried to she lived in the same town and was lonely as shit had nobody around. Her ex-husband(my grandfather on that side) beat her he was an alcoholic, but ended up straightening up YEARS down the road and she nor my mom and her siblings will talk to him. I'm not sure if he is dead or not. I never met my grandmother on my dads side she passed away shortly after my grandfather got back from some war can't remember which one . You know they partied in the military, but when he got back apparently the death of my grandmother sent him over the edge, and he became an alcoholic. That man was like my dad I mean he was awesome. I saw him every week, and he lived an hour away from me. He would drive down for every sporting event I had, or even travel with us if need be.
Wow. I can't believe I just wrote that much. Sorry. You didn't need to know all of that.
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CaptainH13
Commin'Down Hard
Registered: 10/29/04
Posts: 9,162
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Re: Disconnection with family [Re: MOTH]
#8600611 - 07/06/08 12:28 PM (4 months, 27 days ago) |
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I don't have much do to with ANY family. I know it sounds shitty, but the concept of family means little to nothing to me.
I hate my father. I see him as little as possible. My brother,sister,and mom( my only real 'family') I love to death, but obviously not enough to go see them. I just live such a selfish solitary life.
All the extended family means nothing to me, they are just people. People that never liked us anyways.
I see my "core" family( my siblings and mother) like once a year. I do feel bad about it,but it doesn't change anything.
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Captain Ahab: Sleep? That bed is a coffin, and those are winding sheets. I do not sleep, I die.
 Blood
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MHbound
Ballin Out At All Cost
Registered: 09/24/07
Posts: 4,207
Loc: Under The Rainbow
Last seen: 1 hour, 10 minutes
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Re: Disconnection with family [Re: CaptainH13]
#8600659 - 07/06/08 12:42 PM (4 months, 27 days ago) |
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Man you realize it, and still don't go visit them. Maybe you should try getting outside of yourself, and for one you'll feel better and two you'll start to put others before yourself. I was like that...Probably still am a little, but I made some changes and feel much better about myself.
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Lndrydusting
Forever new. . .
 
Registered: 02/19/08
Posts: 943
Last seen: 1 day, 13 hours
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Re: Disconnection with family [Re: MHbound]
#8600930 - 07/06/08 02:15 PM (4 months, 27 days ago) |
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I've come to realize a few things since my moms death . . .
1. My dad's mom is a bitch and should have more compassion for her son with a brain injury who just lost his wife/companion/caregiver of 32 years!!! Fucking Bitch should just die already! I mean honestly she's been through the whole loss of spouse thing you think she'd be more understanding of what he's going through!!! He asked her if he could borrow $20 for gas and you know what the bitch told him??? She said no because he'd be getting $25000 life insurance pretty soon so he didn't need it! Fucking A! He obviously wouldn't even ask her if he didn't need it! I just don't understand how you could treat your only son like that after all he's been through!
2. Its going to be a hell of a long time before I can see my mom's mom and not fucking lose it! I was never a big fan of the woman before but at least lately she's been a little more tolerable! But at least I don't want to punch her. . . .
3. I care more about my immediate family than any of the other extended fuckers in my family! Grandparents aren't all they've cracked up to be!
....sorry for the rant! That just really pissed me off when he told me that this morning. . . Bitch
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alphabeatu
Sire
Registered: 11/07/07
Posts: 2,347
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Re: Disconnection with family [Re: MOTH]
#8600938 - 07/06/08 02:19 PM (4 months, 27 days ago) |
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my who's?
nah my abandoned me long ago
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i need names and addresses of narc members
pm for details
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coda
Banjo Goiter
Registered: 03/20/01
Posts: 8,452
Last seen: 17 hours, 31 minutes
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Re: Disconnection with family [Re: alphabeatu]
#8600972 - 07/06/08 02:32 PM (4 months, 27 days ago) |
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i live 1800 miles from all of my family. I only get to visit them once a year in december for xmas break. When i do get home i try to spend as much time as i can without neglecting my friends as well. I love my grandmother to death, i take her out every xmas to visit our grandfathers grave and place a grave blanket on it.
She's starting to go a little crazy though, it's sad, but i guess pretty common among the elderly. At least she's not overly medicated like my great aunt, her doctor was recently fired (and in the process of being sued) for malpractice. I'm still trying to figure out why he prescribed her 2 mg xanax twice a day, she's barely able to speak because of it.
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To get really high is to forget yourself. And to forget yourself is to see everything else. And to see everything else is to become an understanding molecule in evolution, a conscious tool of the universe. And I think every human being should be a conscious tool of the universe. . . .
-JG
 
Don't fuck with the laughing jesus.
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MOTH
Who, me?
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 18,415
Loc: Bridge of Flesh
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Re: Disconnection with family [Re: coda]
#8600983 - 07/06/08 02:36 PM (4 months, 27 days ago) |
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Thanks for the replies, everyone. Including the family rants.
It's just...well, it's hard for me to go see my grandparents because of the cost and the time it takes to go see them. Yet I FEEL GUILTY that I can take time off and save money to go to a gathering, or some other fun camping type thing, but when it comes to my family, my ailing grandparents, I am suddenly too broke and too busy to go see them...
...I think I'm just gonna have to make a weekend of it.
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Left Nut City
Registered: 03/27/01
Posts: 2,097
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Re: Disconnection with family [Re: MOTH]
#8601149 - 07/06/08 03:29 PM (4 months, 27 days ago) |
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I saw someone in the Gathering forum proposing a Shroomery gathering.
You can go to that AND visit your Grandparents!!
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MHbound
Ballin Out At All Cost
Registered: 09/24/07
Posts: 4,207
Loc: Under The Rainbow
Last seen: 1 hour, 10 minutes
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Re: Disconnection with family [Re: MOTH]
#8601169 - 07/06/08 03:35 PM (4 months, 27 days ago) |
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I think thats a good idea, and I think you will feel better. You sound just like me. I had some bad shit go on, and I was thrown in to a bad situation with a car wreck and legal trouble from that wreck. Guess who was there for me??? A few of my good friends, but my family were the ones who took care of me. I think you should do that.
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farmer88
Registered: 01/14/07
Posts: 284
Loc: Land of Oz
Last seen: 21 hours, 30 minutes
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Re: Disconnection with family [Re: MOTH]
#8606990 - 07/08/08 03:33 AM (4 months, 26 days ago) |
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Quote:
MOTH said:
Thanks for the replies, everyone. Including the family rants.
It's just...well, it's hard for me to go see my grandparents because of the cost and the time it takes to go see them. Yet I FEEL GUILTY that I can take time off and save money to go to a gathering, or some other fun camping type thing, but when it comes to my family, my ailing grandparents, I am suddenly too broke and too busy to go see them...
...I think I'm just gonna have to make a weekend of it.
Set some visiting times to your grandparents, not many, but set them, tell them when and stick to it. Frequency does not matter but being reliable does even if it's only once a year. It gives older people something to look forward to, to live for and you can not feel so bad when they are gone.
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Buy the ticket, take the ride.
Hunter S. Thompson
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mycelismymind
ALKALOIDOHOL
Registered: 09/11/06
Posts: 973
Last seen: 7 days, 8 hours
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Re: Disconnection with family [Re: farmer88]
#8606996 - 07/08/08 03:35 AM (4 months, 26 days ago) |
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nope, dead.
no hassle, but no birthday monies either.
enjoy them while you've got some.
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Shroomism
Space Ninja (DBK)
Registered: 02/13/00
Posts: 37,087
Loc: Earth
Last seen: 4 hours, 51 minutes
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Re: Disconnection with family [Re: MOTH]
#8607423 - 07/08/08 08:42 AM (4 months, 26 days ago) |
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Same deal here. Not so much my grandparents though.. they live in the same state as me... hell, 10 minutes away from me. But I rarely ever see them. I love my grandmother to death but it's just weird going over there. Both of them are super religious freaks.. my grandpa is an ex-seal and now he just sits at home all day watching TV.. they probably watch TV like 12 hours a day. They are Italian and my grandmother lives to cook and goddamn I love her food so much, but everytime I go there I end up getting preached to. It's not too bad though.
The rest of my family.. bleh. I haven't been close with my parents.. well.. ever.. I haven't even seen any of my family, except my dad... in the past 5 or 6 years. I kind of regret being so distant, as I have a lot of really cool family - my cousins and aunts and uncles on both sides of the family are really awesome people, but we are all so spread out I rarely communicate with them.
But yeah, family is weird. There's this weird disconnection with families in our culture.. I know of VERY few people whose parents are still together. I'm not close with my parents AT ALL. I moved away from my dad when I was 16 and since then I've had little to no contact with most of my family.
As sad as it may sound, I consider my friends and most shroomerites I know as family more then I do my actual blood family.
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Light, Love, Life, Kinky Sex
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blewmeanie
Baruch haba b'Shem Adonai
Registered: 10/01/06
Posts: 6,927
Loc: Gainesville Fl
Last seen: 11 minutes, 42 seconds
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Re: Disconnection with family [Re: Shroomism]
#8607512 - 07/08/08 09:19 AM (4 months, 26 days ago) |
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Go visit your family's, and be glad that you have them. I dont have anyone and it sucks.
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Gazing through the
night and its stars,
or the grass and its bugs,
I know in my heart these swarms
are the craft of surpassing wisdom.
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