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 Jeebies
hippie
Registered: 01/23/07
Posts: 794
Loc: Illinois
Last seen: 29 days, 8 hours
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 Tough dilemma; need help
#6936684 - 05/18/07 11:16 PM (1 year, 6 months ago) |
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So my parents have been divorced for some time now, since I was 9 (I'm 18 now). I live with my dad because I can't stand living with my mom and stepdad. My sister, who is 15, lived with my mom up until last week when she got sick of getting bitched at decided I could drive her the 30 mins home to dad's house. The problem is that my sister wants to switch high schools so she can stay at dad's all the time. My mom doesn't want to let that happen. She thinks my dad can't do a good enough job of being a dad just because I smoke weed.
I guess you should know that my stepdad is a cop, which has quite an effect on how my mom thinks. She also frequently calls my sister a little bitch and a piece of shit. She can't go there without crying. Mom has even kicked her out several times, just for raising her voice. Talk about hypocritical! My sister is a good person, she doesn't have a problem with me smoking weed and she gets good grades, just like me. I got a 29 on my ACT and I have a 3.4 gpa, but my mother still thinks I'm a fuckup. I don't drink, have never been caught for smoking herb, nothing. There is no evidence supporting the theory that smoking weed has fucked me up. My dad knows this, and has told me repeatedly that he doesn't approve, but he doesn't want to preach at me all the time so I'll never talk to him again. He accepts without judging.
Now though, we have to talk to a judge, and mom has told me that she's going to tell the judge that dad "lets" me smoke weed, when this is certainly not so. Even so, do you think that this will have any effect on the judge's decision if I'm 18, and the one we are dealing with is my sister who is 15? If she wants to live with my dad, which she does, the judge couldn't say that this isn't acceptable because my mom says that dad "lets" me smoke weed?
I need some opinions on this because it's tearing me up and I don't know what to do.
Thanks!
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-"dude..."
-'what's up?'
-"have you ever been a whale?"
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DRTMaverick
Photographer and Stoner
Registered: 12/18/05
Posts: 4,015
Loc: Reno, NV, USA
Last seen: 2 hours, 28 minutes
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Re: Tough dilemma; need help [Re: Jeebies]
#6936713 - 05/18/07 11:32 PM (1 year, 6 months ago) |
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Basically you can flatout say in front of the judge that your dad doesn't 'let' you, that you, being 18 defy his rules because you are now 18. All he is doing is letting you take the responsibility of your actions. That should easily be enough to convince a judge that he's not 'letting' you smoke pot.
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Official '08 Pacific Northwest Shroomerite Gathering!
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 kaiowas
mndfrayze'speppet urme
Registered: 07/14/03
Posts: 5,482
Loc: oz
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Re: Tough dilemma; need help [Re: Jeebies]
#6936955 - 05/19/07 12:36 AM (1 year, 6 months ago) |
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That is really stupid of your mother, I'm sorry to say. Not trying to give offense or anything of that nature. What your mom is effectively doing is ratting on you to get her way which clearly shows that she is going insane. Since her new husband is a cop, I suggest you take the weed smoking thing underground for a while.
It is really sad to see that your mom lacks any foresight. I do not know what the law is like in Illinois but telling a judge about you and your father's agreement has the potential to give rise to a host of consequences, not only for your sister but for you and your father as well. Not to drive onto paranoia here, but to only usher a word of caution.
If your dad really wants his daughter (which I assume he does  ) then talk to him about it and see what he says. Coming from experience though, just keep the weed smoking business underground from your mother and father. For your father so he doesn't have to worry about it, and for your mother because she does not understand what 'family values' actually means. I used to be fulanderous with my weed smoking as well, but understand that there is a time and place for everything.
just make sure you emphasis on the fact that you do it without your father's consent and that because you are 18 he has no legal control over you anymore. just make sure you do not say that you smoke it inside or around your home because that is where you father does have some control, over 18 or not. Also, do not admit to smoking everyday, it makes you look like a fiend 
if you say you go out with friends, smoke bud every now and then, get good grades, have a job, and present yourself well (ie good clothes, well shaved etc.) then you shouldn't have a problem. I know it sounds retarded but image plays a definite role with humans. It's just how we judge things. make sure you and your father have a backup plan if your mom is really stupid and says that you do smoke around the house or everyday.
I personally would be a little upset with her if she told a judge that you smoke weed. if she is the type of person that you can talk to, sit down and speak with her about it (when cop-dad isn't around), and be genuine without being bossy. If follows through, I would not talk to her often, or not let her into my personal life on any level anymore for a long time, but that's just me 
good luck mate!
-k
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Annnnnnd I had a light saber and my friend was there and I said "you look like an indian" and he said "you look like satan" and he found a stick and a rock and he named the rock ooga booga and he named the stick Stick and we both thought that was pretty funny. We got eaten alive by mosquitos but didn't notice til the next day. I stepped on some glass while wading in the swamp and cut my foot open, didn't bother me til the next day either....yeah it was a good time, ended the night by buying some liquor for minors and drinking nips and going to he diner and eating chicken fingers, and then I went home and went to bed.---senior doobie
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Muppet
Nomadic Jester
Registered: 08/14/02
Posts: 23,391
Loc: (523) 327-2836
Last seen: 1 day, 7 hours
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Re: Tough dilemma; need help [Re: DRTMaverick]
#6936959 - 05/19/07 12:37 AM (1 year, 6 months ago) |
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fuck that
admit to fucken NOTHING!!!!!
deny deny de-fucken-ny!
make that bitch PROVE that you're smoking pot
(and then make her prove that yer old man fucken knows about it)
taint nothing but one person's word verses another until something actually comes to surface to back it up
(regardless if it's hardcore mother fucken evidence, or even just a simple admittance to guilt)
make this bitch flex her muscels on this one ;pfft:
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WildLASER
Infinity In AGrain Of Salt
Registered: 04/01/00
Posts: 869
Last seen: 8 months, 22 days
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Re: Tough dilemma; need help [Re: Muppet]
#6937042 - 05/19/07 01:04 AM (1 year, 6 months ago) |
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I think that is fucked up, on moms part, sounds like some issues she is taking out in other ways, also keep your stuff under the table, yes deny, and still protect father, communicate how yo utruly to feel to them, and try to get them into therapy or ask if they will go with you, it can help, it can be a start
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,'~Þ
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