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 AislingGheal
A wave on the ocean
 
Registered: 02/22/03
Posts: 929
Loc: Northern Ohio
Last seen: 19 days, 20 hours
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 Irish jokes
#1382527 - 03/17/03 02:43 AM (5 years, 8 months ago) |
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Paddy was walking through a graveyard when he came across a headstone with the inscription "Here lies a politician and an honest man."
"Faith now," exclaimed Paddy, "I wonder how they got the two of them in one grave."
"Well, Mike" said the doctor. "I can't quite diagnose your case. I think it must be the drink."
"Sure, that's all right, doctor," said mike. "I know how you feel. I'll come back when you're sober."
First Irish Farmer: "My cow fell down a hole and I had to shoot it."
Second Irish Farmer: "Did you shoot it in the hole?"
First Irish Farmer: "No, in the head."
Happy St. Pats!
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namaste
RuNnINg OwL
Registered: 12/03/02
Posts: 3,733
Loc: Fiddler's Green
Last seen: 14 hours, 10 minutes
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So the cop says to the Irish lad, "Whatcha lookin' for sonny?" the kid replies "Me car." "And where didja see it last me boy?" asks the cop. "Twas right at the end of me key." The cop asks "Didja know your wanker's hangin' out Laddy?"
"Oh shit, I lost Me girlfriend too."
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Earthbeat; Heartbeat; Soul Feet
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namaste
RuNnINg OwL
Registered: 12/03/02
Posts: 3,733
Loc: Fiddler's Green
Last seen: 14 hours, 10 minutes
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Re: Irish jokes [Re: namaste]
#1385141 - 03/17/03 03:59 PM (5 years, 8 months ago) |
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C'mon folks, not even one Lol?
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Earthbeat; Heartbeat; Soul Feet
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 Script
Dr.
Registered: 10/17/02
Posts: 2,221
Loc: USA
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Re: Irish jokes [Re: namaste]
#1386244 - 03/17/03 10:15 PM (5 years, 8 months ago) |
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Well don?t feel to bad I thought it was funny 
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In a closed society where everybody's guilty, the only crime is getting caught.
~Hunter S. Thompson~
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Jackal
Well Versed InEtiquette
Registered: 10/16/02
Posts: 4,528
Last seen: 1 year, 21 days
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Paddy & Murphy are walking across a field when they fall into a hole.
Paddy says "BeJesus it's dark down here"
Murphy says "I wouldn't know, I can't see"
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LoveScarlett
Gypsy
Registered: 03/14/03
Posts: 43
Loc: The Sticks
Last seen: 7 months, 13 days
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Re: Irish jokes [Re: Jackal]
#1387189 - 03/18/03 06:48 AM (5 years, 8 months ago) |
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Stop me if you have heard this one...
What's Irish and stays out all night?
Patty O'furniture
Ya...I know...
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So if she dies
And if you write of it
Being a writer and shit
Dulling it so you sleep again at night,
Alone or telling it to whores
Their minds are dull
But oh their cunts are in the proper place
You pay them but sometimes they like it too
And feel your wounds more eagerly than they feel you,
-- E. Hemmingway, Paris ca. 1926
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LoveScarlett
Gypsy
Registered: 03/14/03
Posts: 43
Loc: The Sticks
Last seen: 7 months, 13 days
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Every Friday night an old Irish fellow, O'Conor, goes to a pub with a few other guys from work. At the Pub they have a toasting contest to see who can make the best toast of the night. The first guy, Paul, raises his pint and says:
"Here is to all of us, may we stay in good health. "
Everyone cheers and takes a drink. They go around the room and each makes their toast. They come to O'Conor and he stands:
"Here is to my beutiful wife, and may I spend the rest of my life between her legs."
Hands down this is the best toast that anyone has heard in months. Spend the rest of the night drinking and laughing.
O'Conor goes home and finds his wife in bed. He crawls in besiade and tells her about his night and his great toast.
"What did you say to them dear?"
"I said, 'Here is to my beutiful wife, may I spend the rest of my life next to here is Church.' "
"Oh, isn't that sweet dear. Good Night."
The next day Mrs. O'Conor is walking down the street and see Paul, O'Conors friend, and stops to say 'Hello'.
"did O'Conor tell you he made the best toast last night? And it was about you?"
"Oh yes, it was sweet. But I couldn't believe he said that because he has only been there twice. The first time he fell asleep and the second time I had to pull his ears to make him come."
The End.
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So if she dies
And if you write of it
Being a writer and shit
Dulling it so you sleep again at night,
Alone or telling it to whores
Their minds are dull
But oh their cunts are in the proper place
You pay them but sometimes they like it too
And feel your wounds more eagerly than they feel you,
-- E. Hemmingway, Paris ca. 1926
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AislingGheal
A wave on the ocean
Registered: 02/22/03
Posts: 929
Loc: Northern Ohio
Last seen: 19 days, 20 hours
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You, my friend, have the best joke of the post. I'll be telling that one for a week! Fad saol agat!
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