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 Rahz
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Registered: 11/10/05
Posts: 2,033
Last seen: 3 days, 21 hours
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 Do you trust yourself?
#8591327 - 07/03/08 12:03 PM (4 months, 18 days ago) |
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Just what the title says. Self trust has been an issue for me. The more I learn to trust myself, the more I realise how much I didn't, and still don't.
Are you trustworthy?
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rahz
comfort pleasure power love truth awareness peace
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backfromthedead
Activated
Registered: 03/10/07
Posts: 3,590
Last seen: 3 months, 24 days
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Re: Do you trust yourself? [Re: Rahz]
#8591350 - 07/03/08 12:12 PM (4 months, 18 days ago) |
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Quote:
Rahz said:
Just what the title says. Self trust has been an issue for me. The more I learn to trust myself, the more I realise how much I didn't, and still don't.
Are you trustworthy?
Being Bipolar and Schizophrenic... I get into these frames of mind where I won't remember extended periods of time. Anger, and negativity, and fear will throw my personal switch. Then Its like I'm acting from another personality and I snap back and forth. Its almost as if I work against myself sometimes. Crazy shit, for sure. I can stay manic and in flow mostly if I stay away from people. Society is mostly a big headache for me these days. Brings me down. Drags me down. Negative people... I feel the tension headache and feel like I'm trapped in their 'field.' Weird. I'd trust myself more if I wasn't so hair trigger anger issues man, ya know?? Anger Issues Man, away...!!
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 MOTH
Who, me?
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 18,261
Loc: Bridge of Flesh
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Re: Do you trust yourself? [Re: Rahz]
#8592722 - 07/03/08 06:57 PM (4 months, 17 days ago) |
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I am crazy; therefore I must trust myself. 
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blewmeanie
שמע ישראל יהוה
 
Registered: 10/01/06
Posts: 6,317
Loc: Gainesville Fl
Last seen: 11 hours, 38 minutes
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Re: Do you trust yourself? [Re: Rahz]
#8592745 - 07/03/08 07:08 PM (4 months, 17 days ago) |
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Quote:
Rahz said:
Just what the title says. Self trust has been an issue for me. The more I learn to trust myself, the more I realise how much I didn't, and still don't.
Are you trustworthy?
Huh?
I Я only one person...please splain?
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All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
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burgatory
sssssssssssssshit
Registered: 02/16/08
Posts: 328
Last seen: 15 hours, 12 minutes
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Re: Do you trust yourself? [Re: MOTH]
#8592767 - 07/03/08 07:15 PM (4 months, 17 days ago) |
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This sort of goes to the lack of foundations for knowledge, the uncertainty princple (in logic) and nihilism. All which are premature reactions to the fact that there is nothing there at all.
So, you can trust yourself, if you like, and get very far this way, but there is always that undeniable eternal doubt that can take it from you, because there is no self to doubt.
This calls for a review of what you think you are. If you cannot trust yourself, because there is no self to trust, but still wish to function, you must see yourself as a character rather than a human or an organism or some such. Only the ego wants to know if it's right or not. The character is simply positing ideas as a character that thinks, that is intellectual. Whether or not the ideas are correct or not is irrelevant, because there is nothing to form ideas about, the ideas are created in themselves are are independent from whatever they claim to refer to. What is important is that the ideas flow into one another, and that obselete ideas, ideas which were formed from an inferior perspective, are overcome with new ideas. Alternatively, all ideas can be abolished altogether.
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we must strive against all ill-formed resistance to attain the chalice of a higher spiritual awakening
There's nothing there.
"Dreams: at the bottom of them lies the merciless onslaught of reality."
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PhanTomCat
Wildcat that Never Was....
Registered: 09/07/04
Posts: 5,710
Loc: My Youniverse....
Last seen: 15 hours, 55 minutes
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 Re: Do you trust yourself? [Re: Rahz]
#8592781 - 07/03/08 07:21 PM (4 months, 17 days ago) |
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What parts of yourself do you not trust....?
Are we talking stuff like not trusting your swimming abilities, or not trusting the decision making mechanism/faculties (like with "addiction")....?
>^;;^<
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"The most important things in life that are often ignored, are the things that one cannot see...."
>^;;^<
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burgatory
sssssssssssssshit
Registered: 02/16/08
Posts: 328
Last seen: 15 hours, 12 minutes
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Re: Do you trust yourself? [Re: burgatory]
#8592785 - 07/03/08 07:21 PM (4 months, 17 days ago) |
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An interesting thing you notice when you consider yourself as a character is that the ego is a completely insane construct, a kind of cognitive virus. Rather than the actions you take being simply actions without an 'actioner', so that you are one with the actions, the ego does something strange like take cranial muscles and associate them with a permanent idea of a 'self', as if actions were then assets of this cranial muscular tension. Also what occurs is 'self-love', which is a confusion of the mechanism of love, and is actually a state of pain. The human character is not equipped to support an ego, for a good reason - the ego is a cultural phenomenon, a mistake.
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we must strive against all ill-formed resistance to attain the chalice of a higher spiritual awakening
There's nothing there.
"Dreams: at the bottom of them lies the merciless onslaught of reality."
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Boots
Disenchanted
Registered: 07/25/07
Posts: 1,137
Loc: Northwood, Ohio, U.S.A.
Last seen: 17 hours, 51 minutes
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Re: Do you trust yourself? [Re: burgatory]
#8592822 - 07/03/08 07:31 PM (4 months, 17 days ago) |
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In general, yes.
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mushbaby
Registered: 09/30/06
Posts: 2,039
Loc: on a hill
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Re: Do you trust yourself? [Re: Boots]
#8593017 - 07/03/08 08:50 PM (4 months, 17 days ago) |
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I know my strengths and weaknesses. There are places I am very trustworthy and others in which I am weak.
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Maybe - and that's final.
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Rahz
Spore Viewer
Registered: 11/10/05
Posts: 2,033
Last seen: 3 days, 21 hours
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The theory is that if a person doesn't fully understand themselves, they don't fully trust themselves. It's just another angle on negativity.
Whining really. I just got some kittens, and one of them insists on sitting in my lap and then getting as close to my head as physically possible. I resorted to a spray bottle and yelling. Not bad things within themselves, but I got really pissed off several times.
So getting angry wasn't necessary to train my kitten. I don't understand why I got pissed. I've been calm through worse. I was just thinking that if it were a person, it would seem pretty abusive. High decibels really seem to get through though.
How would the Cat Whisperer handle it?
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rahz
comfort pleasure power love truth awareness peace
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backfromthedead
Activated
Registered: 03/10/07
Posts: 3,590
Last seen: 3 months, 24 days
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Re: Do you trust yourself? [Re: Rahz]
#8593619 - 07/04/08 12:15 AM (4 months, 17 days ago) |
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How would the Cat Whisperer handle it?
*Here kitty kitty...*
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figmentfragment
seriousfraulicking
Registered: 04/10/07
Posts: 483
Loc: Kiwi Land.
Last seen: 10 hours, 29 minutes
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Quote:
backfromthedead said:
Being Bipolar and Schizophrenic... I get into these frames of mind where I won't remember extended periods of time. Anger, and negativity, and fear will throw my personal switch. Then Its like I'm acting from another personality and I snap back and forth. Its almost as if I work against myself sometimes. Crazy shit, for sure. I can stay manic and in flow mostly if I stay away from people. Society is mostly a big headache for me these days. Brings me down. Drags me down. Negative people... I feel the tension headache and feel like I'm trapped in their 'field.' Weird. I'd trust myself more if I wasn't so hair trigger anger issues man, ya know?? Anger Issues Man, away...!!
Bi-polar and schizophrenia, do you feel that these affect your memory?
I have wondered at the lacking in my own memory, particularly in the midst of mania.
I think to be honest, I have very little trust in myself, which may also be the root of my skepticism towards reality and truth as concepts. I do not trust my ability to accurately perceive the world around me, the intentions of others and various other ideas I may have.
I change my mind a lot, and have issues with trusting my decisions.
Another aspect that shakes my foundation of self trust is contemplation of my dark side.
I play to one degree or other at emo kid, I feel this is a self serving mockery. The depths are safe, they are a false bottom if you will, a decoy for the real potential that lies there.
It is almost similar to when I have a sore in my mouth, and must keep probing it with my tongue, to see how extreme the pain can get. I get some comfort from this.
Alcohol is one example and quite worrying for me, I am one of those extremely intolerant types, I become inebriated very quickly.
I also happen to be a closet psycho cases, and become very unpredictable on the booze. I may have a night with out incident, but mostly with some crazy event.
My actions to my sober mind are very contrary to my morals and opinions about how I should act and treat others. Yet I feel this drunken behaviour must be spawned somewhere within my personality, like any drug, alcohol works with what you have, and for me it seems to bring out the worst...
I do not trust these darker sides of me. Not one bit.
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"I am the one who has felt most deeply the stuttering of the tongue in its relation to thought."
"I see myself wrapped in lies, which do not seem to penetrate my soul, as if they are not really a part of me. They are like costumes."
    
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backfromthedead
Activated
Registered: 03/10/07
Posts: 3,590
Last seen: 3 months, 24 days
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Quote:
figmentfragment said:
Quote:
backfromthedead said:
Being Bipolar and Schizophrenic... I get into these frames of mind where I won't remember extended periods of time. Anger, and negativity, and fear will throw my personal switch. Then Its like I'm acting from another personality and I snap back and forth. Its almost as if I work against myself sometimes. Crazy shit, for sure. I can stay manic and in flow mostly if I stay away from people. Society is mostly a big headache for me these days. Brings me down. Drags me down. Negative people... I feel the tension headache and feel like I'm trapped in their 'field.' Weird. I'd trust myself more if I wasn't so hair trigger anger issues man, ya know?? Anger Issues Man, away...!!
Bi-polar and schizophrenia, do you feel that these affect your memory?
I have wondered at the lacking in my own memory, particularly in the midst of mania.
I think to be honest, I have very little trust in myself, which may also be the root of my skepticism towards reality and truth as concepts. I do not trust my ability to accurately perceive the world around me, the intentions of others and various other ideas I may have.
I change my mind a lot, and have issues with trusting my decisions.
Another aspect that shakes my foundation of self trust is contemplation of my dark side.
I play to one degree or other at emo kid, I feel this is a self serving mockery. The depths are safe, they are a false bottom if you will, a decoy for the real potential that lies there.
It is almost similar to when I have a sore in my mouth, and must keep probing it with my tongue, to see how extreme the pain can get. I get some comfort from this.
Alcohol is one example and quite worrying for me, I am one of those extremely intolerant types, I become inebriated very quickly.
I also happen to be a closet psycho cases, and become very unpredictable on the booze. I may have a night with out incident, but mostly with some crazy event.
My actions to my sober mind are very contrary to my morals and opinions about how I should act and treat others. Yet I feel this drunken behaviour must be spawned somewhere within my personality, like any drug, alcohol works with what you have, and for me it seems to bring out the worst...
I do not trust these darker sides of me. Not one bit.
Stay away from alcohol. Please. 
Emotions are a potent force in nature. Influential. Revolutionary. :Shut that off...!! Know what I mean??
And... You are a bad, bad girl.  
I will teach you better things. Bad is good, good is bad, and we are all badasses.  Solid Gold. Don't let anyone make you believe anything different.
In WA, US, as of 1973 (Chapter 142 Section 50) which provides: "No person shall be presumed incompetent of lose any civil rights as a consequence of receiving evaluation or treatment for mental disorder, either Voluntarily or Involuntarily...
Fuckers are breaking the laws. At least on this side of the state. I just filed a complaint with the hospital I was 'treated' at. I have 2 more to go. They used unnecessary force, Haldol, and Geodon injections (against my wishes) to shut me up, cause I talk too much. Tazer, anyone...?? *ugh* Shut that off...!! Uhhhh... Doc/Sheriff is going down. Sorry. And I'll take your salary, sirs. Now suck Satan's cock.
Sorry I watched Bill Hicks Revelations again and I'm all Hrr Hrr Hrr... If ya know what I'm saying. Waking Life made me cry the other day.
Chronic: I suppose no-mind, no-thought, and emptiness is a better option than being filled with Bullshit Western archetypes in a sea of nonacceptance. Shite.
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backfromthedead
Activated
Registered: 03/10/07
Posts: 3,590
Last seen: 3 months, 24 days
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Bi-polar and schizophrenia, do you feel that these affect your memory?
Its more like I am not cataloging memories as well in certain states of mind. Then when I go back over it in self reflection its like... Who the fuck, what the fuck?? Little scary. I try to avoid situations where I feel that swell of emotion coming on. Hasn't done the best things for me. I was hanging out with my brother on the water the other day. Dude is like a walking tension headache. Fuckin Hogan on my ass all the time... BROTHER!!!! He forgets to strap shit down, cause he drinks constantly and loves coke, and a wakeboard flies from the tower rack straight into the bridge of my nose. Like this shits not a headache already...?? Ouch?? Bad luck. Seems like it haunts certain people. I feel the headache from their intensity. They drive people insane and are rather inconsiderate of others. My family?? Wish it was different. Mushrooms and weed and chill the fuck out?? Thats a bad idea. But liquid courage that makes me feel like I got clubed with a 2x4 in the morn. DRUG of choice. Fuckin mess.
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 23,382
Loc: underbelly
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Re: Do you trust yourself? [Re: Rahz]
#8594589 - 07/04/08 11:34 AM (4 months, 17 days ago) |
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Quote:
Rahz said:
Just what the title says. Self trust has been an issue for me. The more I learn to trust myself, the more I realise how much I didn't, and still don't.
Are you trustworthy?
For sure it's a mixed bag. We often feel we need to appeal to authority. That's how they sucker us into all this nonsense. From religion, to politics to spirituality, to our mental and physical health and on and on.
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What the thinker thinks, the prover proves. R.A.W.
I don't believe anything, but I have many suspicions. R.A.W.
embrace death in all the ways it comes no matter how soft or hard. cruel ,tragic,weak,light, gentle, ect how ever. thats life
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Chronic777
Registered: 05/08/04
Posts: 3,485
Loc: Unmoving Core
Last seen: 3 hours, 34 minutes
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Quote:
backfromthedead said:
Chronic: I suppose no-mind, no-thought, and emptiness is a better option than being filled with Bullshit Western archetypes in a sea of nonacceptance. Shite.
Cool i don't even need to post here any more, your taking care of that for me
From emptiness comes total trust for life as everythings allowed & accepted, but its not in a negative way of saying "fuck all this bullshit im gonna switch off & be empty" it comes from wanting to dissolve identity in the truth of existence and resting in unconditional love.
If theres one thing i can't trust its mind/thoughts, i don't believe a thing it comes up with!
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What is here?
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backfromthedead
Activated
Registered: 03/10/07
Posts: 3,590
Last seen: 3 months, 24 days
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Re: Do you trust yourself? [Re: Chronic777]
#8594617 - 07/04/08 11:46 AM (4 months, 17 days ago) |
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Quote:
Chronic777 said:
Quote:
backfromthedead said:
Chronic: I suppose no-mind, no-thought, and emptiness is a better option than being filled with Bullshit Western archetypes in a sea of nonacceptance. Shite.
Cool i don't even need to post here any more, your taking care of that for me
From emptiness comes total trust for life as everythings allowed & accepted, but its not in a negative way of saying "fuck all this bullshit im gonna switch off & be empty" it comes from wanting to dissolve identity in the truth of existence and resting in unconditional love.
If theres one thing i can't trust its mind/thoughts, i don't believe a thing it comes up with!
I hear you, man. I'm all over the place. Hearts in the right place but I feel subject to the prevailing energies upstairs... Ya know??
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Chronic777
Registered: 05/08/04
Posts: 3,485
Loc: Unmoving Core
Last seen: 3 hours, 34 minutes
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Quote:
backfromthedead said:
Quote:
Chronic777 said:
Quote:
backfromthedead said:
Chronic: I suppose no-mind, no-thought, and emptiness is a better option than being filled with Bullshit Western archetypes in a sea of nonacceptance. Shite.
Cool i don't even need to post here any more, your taking care of that for me
From emptiness comes total trust for life as everythings allowed & accepted, but its not in a negative way of saying "fuck all this bullshit im gonna switch off & be empty" it comes from wanting to dissolve identity in the truth of existence and resting in unconditional love.
If theres one thing i can't trust its mind/thoughts, i don't believe a thing it comes up with!
I hear you, man. I'm all over the place. Hearts in the right place but I feel subject to the prevailing energies upstairs... Ya know??
Those energies upstairs are just tendencies buried in the human mind, they cant be cleaned up, you are the space which they appear in and thats all they are, just an appearance that comes & goes in space.
You are space, just seemingly identified with mind & thoughts! What touches space? Does space get affected by what appears in it?
If you feel mind pulling you into krazyness, stay as the awareness of the mind pull.
If you really stay aware of mind pull and don't give thoughts & feelings your attention, it brings such immense happyness & ease of being. Just don't touch anything.
PLEASE really try it, even say to the mind "do your worse" and witness it.
I got a good feeling about you man, just leave this mess to sort itself out
Everything comes & goes but you witness it coming & going so how can it be you or affect you?
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What is here?
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Rahz
Spore Viewer
Registered: 11/10/05
Posts: 2,033
Last seen: 3 days, 21 hours
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Re: Do you trust yourself? [Re: Chronic777]
#8594842 - 07/04/08 12:57 PM (4 months, 17 days ago) |
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There seems to be an inherent desire to be affected. People have a desire for drama. I find it very difficult to produce material to bitch about now though.
My life is much better, but to what end? Ego doesn't die, it just gets thinner. So I've got this starving monkey that's getting tired of begging for attention, I can achieve bliss states, I quit drinking, quit smoking cigarettes, yet I have no purpose in life.
It's fear of the unknown. Meditation seemed more meaningful, when I had obvious fears to confront. I mean, bliss is great, it just seems hollow at times, and there's the feeling that I want problems, so there's something else to fix. In reality, I know new problems aren't needed as there is more to deal with already, if I go deeper.
It's been several months since I ate some cubes. Hmm...
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rahz
comfort pleasure power love truth awareness peace
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Chronic777
Registered: 05/08/04
Posts: 3,485
Loc: Unmoving Core
Last seen: 3 hours, 34 minutes
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Re: Do you trust yourself? [Re: Rahz]
#8594909 - 07/04/08 01:16 PM (4 months, 17 days ago) |
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Quote:
Rahz said:
There seems to be an inherent desire to be affected. People have a desire for drama. I find it very difficult to produce material to bitch about now though.
My life is much better, but to what end? Ego doesn't die, it just gets thinner. So I've got this starving monkey that's getting tired of begging for attention, I can achieve bliss states, I quit drinking, quit smoking cigarettes, yet I have no purpose in life.
It's fear of the unknown. Meditation seemed more meaningful, when I had obvious fears to confront. I mean, bliss is great, it just seems hollow at times, and there's the feeling that I want problems, so there's something else to fix. In reality, I know new problems aren't needed as there is more to deal with already, if I go deeper.
It's been several months since I ate some cubes. Hmm...
Even when theres not a problem mind will try to make you think that there is one, as it that what it is trained to do, solve problems! It feeds on drama & identification with interelated opposite states, auspicious or inauspicious states.
Even when your in the most sublime peace, theres come a need "to do", this is the exact same need for drama, need for interpretation, need for doubt, need for action, its all the same need!
I can tell you that seeing as you've come this far, your purpose in life is to lose the ego. IMO that is the purpose of human existence, to do what we are doing now, but to eventually realize what we really are, we have these bodies for that sole reason, that fate is sealed, as awakening is inevitable for all.
Tfear of the unknown is the best fear, i love it as whenever i feel it i can throw myself into it! Theres no better sensation than throwing yourself into the unknown!
"several months since eating cubes"
me too!
Lets trip together 2mro night!? what you saying? 
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What is here?
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