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 Poppygod
EarlyBird
Registered: 05/15/07
Posts: 278
Loc: napa, Ca
Last seen: 1 day, 15 hours
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 Today
#8589309 - 07/02/08 09:17 PM (4 months, 18 days ago) |
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As I sit, once again alone, oh how I disgust myself. Nothing it seems can clear the fog that has for so long clouded my reality. Chemically imbalanced or incapable, does it even matter anymore… Although my day, inactive, I feel as though ive been taken to hell and back. Pessimistic thoughts have taken over; everything is so dark, so lonely. To even think that I could be loved is blasphemy. Awakened by my incessant life, why? I know how today will end, who cares how it gets there. I long for something else… But will I know what it is when its there? Will I miss my only chance? I must be insane, how I see those who laugh merrily, I despise yet… somehow I am trampled by the despair loneliness has brought me. I feel like the only of my kind, some mutant only put on this earth for the amusement of others, if even to amount to that. There is light, when I flip this switch, but I only see darkness, my impending death and how it will come. My miserable existence.. maybe its my fault? I’m almost sure it is, how ive learned to loathe everything and everyone.. maybe I’m the cause of my loneliness..
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Felinor
PhilosophicalDreamer
Registered: 03/02/08
Posts: 550
Loc: Down Town China Town
Last seen: 1 month, 12 days
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do you wear black and white wristbands? just wondering.
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The world itself is the will to power - and nothing else! And you yourself are the will to power - and nothing else! ~Friedrich Nietzsche
....So.... This is Awkward..
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Boots
Disenchanted
Registered: 07/25/07
Posts: 1,137
Loc: Northwood, Ohio, U.S.A.
Last seen: 16 hours, 41 minutes
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Re: Today [Re: Felinor]
#8589537 - 07/02/08 10:19 PM (4 months, 18 days ago) |
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Holy shit, I know we're supposed to be loving and compassionate but can you whine a little more?
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Poppygod
EarlyBird
Registered: 05/15/07
Posts: 278
Loc: napa, Ca
Last seen: 1 day, 15 hours
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Re: Today [Re: Boots]
#8589610 - 07/02/08 10:38 PM (4 months, 18 days ago) |
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Lol boots, so ignorant. Get a life 
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 Cracka_X
Spiritual Dirt Worshipper
Registered: 01/25/03
Posts: 8,273
Loc: Here
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It's good to get your eyes acclimated to the darkness before you see the light.
Quote:
do you wear black and white wristbands? just wondering.
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Click here to check out lineups for Magnoliafest and Springfest in Live Oak, FL
The best way to live
is to be like water
For water benefits all things
and goes against none of them
It provides for all people
and even cleanses those places
a man is loath to go
In this way it is just like Tao
-Lao Tzu
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zouden
Neuroscientist
Registered: 11/12/07
Posts: 3,207
Loc: Australia
Last seen: 5 hours, 2 minutes
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Your poetry would look better with black text on a black background
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Wave upon wave of demented avengers
Marched cheerfully out of obscurity into the dream
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aDoS
freedom lover
Registered: 06/18/05
Posts: 5,030
Loc: land of the free
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Re: Today [Re: Boots]
#8590485 - 07/03/08 04:35 AM (4 months, 18 days ago) |
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I am not trying to be offensive, but you are being too emotional about life, which theres nothing wrong with if thats what you want it to be like. But don't whine about it.
Life is going to be what you make it.
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 GIVE ME OPIATES OR GIVE ME DEATH
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WhiskeyClone
Not here
Registered: 06/25/01
Posts: 13,662
Loc: Longitudinal Center of Ca...
Last seen: 49 minutes, 30 seconds
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Quote:
Poppygod said:
As I sit, once again alone, oh how I disgust myself. Nothing it seems can clear the fog that has for so long clouded my reality. Chemically imbalanced or incapable, does it even matter anymore… Although my day, inactive, I feel as though ive been taken to hell and back. Pessimistic thoughts have taken over; everything is so dark, so lonely. To even think that I could be loved is blasphemy. Awakened by my incessant life, why? I know how today will end, who cares how it gets there. I long for something else… But will I know what it is when its there? Will I miss my only chance? I must be insane, how I see those who laugh merrily, I despise yet… somehow I am trampled by the despair loneliness has brought me. I feel like the only of my kind, some mutant only put on this earth for the amusement of others, if even to amount to that. There is light, when I flip this switch, but I only see darkness, my impending death and how it will come. My miserable existence.. maybe its my fault? I’m almost sure it is, how ive learned to loathe everything and everyone.. maybe I’m the cause of my loneliness..
^^^ All the bad stuff in there comes from the habit of compulsive thinking. That's your 'fog' right there. The world's fine, you're fine, you just have a million shitty opinions about both. You're not alone in that respect. Many people meditate to help see the difference between what they perceive and what they think about what they perceive. As long as you don't see that difference, life will be hell.
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-oOo-
A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines. With consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do. He may as well concern himself with his shadow on the wall. Speak what you think now in hard words, and to-morrow speak what to-morrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict every thing you said to-day. -- `Ah, so you shall be sure to be misunderstood.' -- Is it so bad, then, to be misunderstood? Pythagoras was misunderstood, and Socrates, and Jesus, and Luther, and Copernicus, and Galileo, and Newton, and every pure and wise spirit that ever took flesh. To be great is to be misunderstood.
~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"
-oOo-
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figmentfragment
seriousfraulicking
Registered: 04/10/07
Posts: 483
Loc: Kiwi Land.
Last seen: 9 hours, 19 minutes
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Isn't it funny that often when you seek something to lean upon, it all falls away?
Happens to me all the time...I am just glad that my legs are getting stronger.
This does make standing alone much easier.
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"I am the one who has felt most deeply the stuttering of the tongue in its relation to thought."
"I see myself wrapped in lies, which do not seem to penetrate my soul, as if they are not really a part of me. They are like costumes."
    
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backfromthedead
Activated
Registered: 03/10/07
Posts: 3,590
Last seen: 3 months, 24 days
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Change your language... Change your reality. I know how you feel. We all have the worst inside us all. It is your responsibility to accept this place, Earth, and yourself for what you are and what it is at this time. You are what make you, you. And we are all what makes Earth what it is. There are problems. Positivity will help. Dwelling on problems requires solutions to be discovered. A call, if you will. Make of it what you will. Its yours to create. Reality. Bright lights/Dark shadows. Believe in yourSELF and you become the hero of your own story.
Answer the questions that bother you as best you can and act, now.
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 23,382
Loc: underbelly
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My miserable existence.. maybe its my fault? I’m almost sure it is, how ive learned to loathe everything and everyone.. maybe I’m the cause of my loneliness..
You were not the original cause but you are the continuation of your current perspective and condition. I'm speaking from experience. What was learned can be changed but it takes great energy and time. Will you have the strength and courage for it?  Good luck .
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What the thinker thinks, the prover proves. R.A.W.
I don't believe anything, but I have many suspicions. R.A.W.
embrace death in all the ways it comes no matter how soft or hard. cruel ,tragic,weak,light, gentle, ect how ever. thats life
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Poppygod
EarlyBird
Registered: 05/15/07
Posts: 278
Loc: napa, Ca
Last seen: 1 day, 15 hours
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Re: Today [Re: aDoS]
#8591342 - 07/03/08 12:08 PM (4 months, 18 days ago) |
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Quote:
aDoS said:
I am not trying to be offensive, but you are being too emotional about life, which theres nothing wrong with if thats what you want it to be like. But don't whine about it.
Life is going to be what you make it.
Lol.. Do you truly think you could offend me? I'll be as emotional as i please. And to call it whining? Truly you must be stupid or young, But it's ok... you may learn
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WhiskeyClone
Not here
Registered: 06/25/01
Posts: 13,662
Loc: Longitudinal Center of Ca...
Last seen: 49 minutes, 30 seconds
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Quote:
Poppygod said:
Lol.. Do you truly think you could offend me? I'll be as emotional as i please. And to call it whining? Truly you must be stupid or young, But it's ok... you may learn
Learn what? How to be miserable?
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-oOo-
A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines. With consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do. He may as well concern himself with his shadow on the wall. Speak what you think now in hard words, and to-morrow speak what to-morrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict every thing you said to-day. -- `Ah, so you shall be sure to be misunderstood.' -- Is it so bad, then, to be misunderstood? Pythagoras was misunderstood, and Socrates, and Jesus, and Luther, and Copernicus, and Galileo, and Newton, and every pure and wise spirit that ever took flesh. To be great is to be misunderstood.
~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"
-oOo-
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blewmeanie
שמע ישראל יהוה
Registered: 10/01/06
Posts: 6,317
Loc: Gainesville Fl
Last seen: 10 hours, 28 minutes
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Re: Today [Re: zouden]
#8592488 - 07/03/08 05:39 PM (4 months, 17 days ago) |
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Quote:
zouden said:
Your poetry would look better with black text on a black background
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All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
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elbisivni
is dead
Registered: 10/01/06
Posts: 2,066
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Quote:
Poppygod said:
So, what do you plan on doing about all of this?
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superstition
1: a belief or practice resulting from ignorance, fear of the unknown, trust in magic or chance, or a false conception of causation
2: a notion maintained despite evidence to the contrary
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Rahz
Spore Viewer
Registered: 11/10/05
Posts: 2,033
Last seen: 3 days, 20 hours
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People think the worst things about themselves and other people. The "merry people" are either blissfully ignorant, good actors, or are actually happy. Happiness is sporadic for many of them. Sounds like you don't so much despise them, as you are jealous of them, and it's funny because most of them are in the same boat you are. I think the key to overcoming this "resistance to merriness" is to learn about and acknowledge your instincts and spiritual nature. Become happy yourself, and being jealous would be silly.
Learn to love yourself. This is the chance you have. The way you treat other people, and the way in which you are treated by others, is mostly based on how you treat yourself.
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rahz
comfort pleasure power love truth awareness peace
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WhiskeyClone
Not here
Registered: 06/25/01
Posts: 13,662
Loc: Longitudinal Center of Ca...
Last seen: 49 minutes, 30 seconds
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Re: Today [Re: Rahz]
#8594171 - 07/04/08 06:44 AM (4 months, 17 days ago) |
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Quote:
Rahz said:
The way you treat other people, and the way in which you are treated by others, is mostly based on how you treat yourself.
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-oOo-
A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines. With consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do. He may as well concern himself with his shadow on the wall. Speak what you think now in hard words, and to-morrow speak what to-morrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict every thing you said to-day. -- `Ah, so you shall be sure to be misunderstood.' -- Is it so bad, then, to be misunderstood? Pythagoras was misunderstood, and Socrates, and Jesus, and Luther, and Copernicus, and Galileo, and Newton, and every pure and wise spirit that ever took flesh. To be great is to be misunderstood.
~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"
-oOo-
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Poppygod
EarlyBird
Registered: 05/15/07
Posts: 278
Loc: napa, Ca
Last seen: 1 day, 15 hours
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Re: Today [Re: Rahz]
#8595927 - 07/04/08 08:10 PM (4 months, 16 days ago) |
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Quote:
Rahz said:
People think the worst things about themselves and other people. The "merry people" are either blissfully ignorant, good actors, or are actually happy. Happiness is sporadic for many of them. Sounds like you don't so much despise them, as you are jealous of them, and it's funny because most of them are in the same boat you are. I think the key to overcoming this "resistance to merriness" is to learn about and acknowledge your instincts and spiritual nature. Become happy yourself, and being jealous would be silly.
Learn to love yourself. This is the chance you have. The way you treat other people, and the way in which you are treated by others, is mostly based on how you treat yourself.
Lol.. You take the words too literally
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figmentfragment
seriousfraulicking
Registered: 04/10/07
Posts: 483
Loc: Kiwi Land.
Last seen: 9 hours, 19 minutes
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No one will lie to you, misery can be everywhere you look, especially if you look for it.
But fuck. I see two choices.
Die or find a way through.
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"I am the one who has felt most deeply the stuttering of the tongue in its relation to thought."
"I see myself wrapped in lies, which do not seem to penetrate my soul, as if they are not really a part of me. They are like costumes."
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Rahz
Spore Viewer
Registered: 11/10/05
Posts: 2,033
Last seen: 3 days, 20 hours
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Quote:
Poppygod said:
Quote:
Rahz said:
People think the worst things about themselves and other people. The "merry people" are either blissfully ignorant, good actors, or are actually happy. Happiness is sporadic for many of them. Sounds like you don't so much despise them, as you are jealous of them, and it's funny because most of them are in the same boat you are. I think the key to overcoming this "resistance to merriness" is to learn about and acknowledge your instincts and spiritual nature. Become happy yourself, and being jealous would be silly.
Learn to love yourself. This is the chance you have. The way you treat other people, and the way in which you are treated by others, is mostly based on how you treat yourself.
Lol.. You take the words too literally
Whadda ya mean?
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rahz
comfort pleasure power love truth awareness peace
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