9:30pm: 3 hits of LSD taken.(2 at first, 1 an hour later) Within 15 mins, anxiety begins and the need to urinate and shit is felt.
30mins in I notice the affects start to take hold minus visuals, but just mildly their is a creeping feeling that the visuals will soon come. And the feeling if a hand massaging my brain. Typing and motor controls become harder. Anxiety increase. A stream of thinking comes into my thoughts…the foot is on the pedal.
10:11pm: Time is slowing down…what has only been 12 mins feel like double that in thinking time. The underlying visuals become slightly more apparent.
10:21: My audio becomes funky, hearing more clearly everything, but at the same time it is ‘harder’ to hear
10:32pm: Visuals intense. A space of 5 mins is lost in my mind now, as if the slow time was only slow in which it was happening…but in hindsight it was only 5 mins. My hands are clammy, my stomach weak, I’m breathing heavy, it’s a feeling of over coming, like a grabbing of the central nervous system and being pulled down into the depths of what is unknown about the most known to us. the pedal is to the metal now.
10:50: full blown acid trip. What lies next only my unconscious can know… I have chills and the feeling to vomit is around, but I think a bowl of weed will help. gothika is a good movie, but what adds to it is the commercials…it keeps me in reality. And I do know I don’t have ED (erectile dysdunction).
11:03pm: I cant seem to find myself.. I wonder my room, my mind, my thoughts………and now finally I smoke my bowl. One hit of dank does wonders to my mind able to control… it calms me.
11:08 subtleties of the make up in the movie stick out and you se the little details, my hands are shaky/ the comp changed font randomly. Without my knowledge.
I understand the human need to escape, the need to go higher, why in horror movies does the girl run up stairs or we reach for star its all basic concept of getting away of something horrible” look to the sky for the answer” 11:19: now the commercial are annoying and remind me of ‘needs’ and of things like that in the 1990 census the TV was considered a necessity. Besides seeing all the beautiful people its really not that great….i could live with just a cinema in my house. thoughts are fucked and hard to keep it straight.
1125: I can see the bending of light, my fan squeaks and It interrupts the pure noise. I turn it off.
I’m sca(r)red with a grin on my face form gothika. It is a movie. It scares me shit less. It is GOOD. Back to reality.
11:33pm: back to more of a report. My visions go where I want them my fingers flow like a water,,,, but unsure of what to write. I keep focused on the movie and my typing so not much is changing. the visuals are intense tho, I know with nature the good visions will come .and music…I almost cant wait for this movie to tell me the ending and let me listen to my music and get out of my house .i have kept the light on the whole time, not afraid to see everything Idk if this a peak if this is the being or the beginning idk what will come.
1143: once it gets good they throw me commercials down our throat, it’s a long line of money to make money to make money etc, its rare to find someone’s motives who isn’t money, survival, but is there this need for eharmony or internet, I learn of all the bullshit feed to us on tv.
I WANT TO KNOW IF HALLE BERRY IS POSESED OR WHAT THE FUCK, I DON’T WANT BUZZ BALADS, JUST GIVE ME MY ENDING GIVE ME MY MUSIC NATURE.
MY HANDS ARE Shaky.
1158: GOTIKA IS A GOOD MOVIE, THE VISUALS ARE WELL DONE, it’s a total mind fuck. But good. Now I go to nature.
1201am: I get lost I my own mind trying to find my sweatshirt, is it even cold..is it….
2105am..i am getting ready, do not try to grasp insanity with a sane mind, it never works.
1220am, I m ready to leave now, I will be back in a while probably who knows when, I want to see ghost now for some reason tho, demons, angels something other than what is…. 12:30am:
1:35am: im back to a safe place now .i have lost my innocence, I am looked at as a man and as a threat I should be looked at as a friend. Its like its going to be over soon, cops are gong to swarm me, “mike you feel too good, it’s against the law”.
I have been gone for seems like hours now, but really it was just a short one hour, all I thought on my walk was that people who would be awake and see me view me as a threat… and I can see why, but I just want to do my thing.
It seems I can take my trip as far as I want to, I focus hard enough on nothing and I realize just how hard I am tripping. I write this as an omnipotent observer.
I could go for some social interactions.
203am, the fan fucks with me, the vibrating it does goes with the music maybe because music changes the air and the flow at which it is taken through the fan. It still bothers me. I want a blunt, some people to talk to maybe. i don’t know if my music is to loud for my parents or not. my audio/vison is so funky I cant explain…. I get lost in my self.
211am: someone called asking to come over, I have paranoia in me for no reason, I know everything should be fine, but why not answer…… I need to breathe, calm down. 2:30am:
3:03 drunk human cointanct am:
347am I don’t know why, but it is not the same trip with someone else around….my introvert seems harder to find…my hand doesn’t shake as much now, I can handle this trip.
He spoke in his sleep?? ”that is fucked up” ask him later. 4:00am: I don’t know how long he will sleep, I think I can go on my way now, back to my trip my unreality, no wait he makes movement, ahhh, almost.
Maybe a movie in a little…..
406: if it wasn’t for his brain telling him to breathe he would die .i n his sleep, but just be stuck in his dreams…..one little sleep apnea he’s gone .how fragile humans, and life is.
When you wake someone from sleeping they look like the are on lsd, cause you have taken them form what they know as reality; ’dreaming’, to the real real…fucking life. And the look of ‘where the fuck am I’ is more of where am I and why not let me go back to the peacefulness of sleep.
424: music is quantum physics at its finest, how can two productions of sound be at the same place in millions of other minds and ears at once, at concerts the feeling of one, everyone has the same reality.
4.33am: I don’t if this is the come down of the trip, but a definite calming I want to smoke more weed. if compared to REM sleep, I would say this is the part when I am trying to recall the events, and instead of living in the moment, I am actually able to piece together the past….but don’t dwell to much on the past, you will miss the future.
4:44am: smell comes back, in a way, but I’m sure ill just ruin that with smoke. We give our bodies every reason to die, poison it everyday, and then when we finally do die, we ask why? For temples to stand so long, with so much erosion, is a miracle of god.
5:01am: drunk human chokes on something….but resumes sleep. Tripping man chokes on own phlegm.
559 am: my parents are awake, in their own world, completely oblivious to my mind expansion, or even of my existence as a human above consciousness. What do the see me as, what to they think of me? What do people in general think of my time on this earth…drunk human makes funny noise in sleep.
For the past hour I have indulged in music and fully understood it .the meaning of each note, each crash etc…how it all fits in it own universe…
I cough more phlegm. .my lungs feel full.
6:40am: im testing how asleep drunk human is by throwing pennies at him… what amuse me is amusement to me. He still snores, not even missing a fainted breath. Almost a human metronome.
Two polar opposites, dead awake, wide asleep….
648: drunk human wakes. Only to fall back to his safe place.
I have feelings for so many things, so many people, from love, lust, to wanting more, to needing to find completeness….where is she, where is the ism, where is the philosophy, the art, will the flow of love want and lust every stop. When will I be complete, and possibly able of being copied.
7:30><703am: are crazy people crazy or just see differently….there reality is theirs. Drunk human interrupts my thoughts, he goes back to sleep…. I want to understand the insane and make it sane to ‘our’ reality.
722am: I realize now why the sun has not rising yet, the time change….yes we changed time, if only it where that easy. We should live by the moon and sun, nothing more, not someone telling me when 7:24am is, I don’t think we can put such an easy number to it….. when the sun hits 3 notches from the Cliffside, that’s 7:23 to some people
757am: one parent leaves for work, I want food, water, weed…a sugar cookie sounds good right now, with some milk….happiness in a milk and cookies. If only it were that easy all the time. Happiness in a shot of vodka, Vodka of shot a in happiness.
Ebacahnezur
9:09am:all parents gone, still a drunk human sleeping on my floor he wakes up every once a while, …..
My trip is clearly over, but clearly still right in front of me.-
924am: my weed is all gone…now time for better things…..try to grasp back hold of your thoughts and were they were just 5 hours ago…..that massaging of the brain is still there, but in a different way now, each note massages a different lobe.
My trip still lingers tho, if I zone out its as if I have flashbacks to just hours ago…everything more as a memory then as a now reality….in-between realities maybe?
929am:Drunk human still sleep
6:18pm: hindsight…how did people survive before all these miracle Prozac, or diabetes meds…they didn’t and maybe that’s Darwin’s point….the body and mind die subjectively…for our old bones are no less worn 500 years from now
