The setting
is a camper trailer the day after thanksgiving. People present are 3 guys: me, "B", and
"C" -- and 2 chicks: "V" and
"W". No one else is on
anything except C has had a couple of beers.
I had not eaten much at all that day.
The mushrooms are Cubensis that I grew myself.
We first
got to the camper at about 11:15 p.m. B
and W go straight back to the only bedroom in the camper. C, V, and I sit outside in the
livingroom/kitchen area of the camper with some music playing while I stir in
2.5 grams of my dried cubes into a pudding cup. C puts in My Name Is Earl in the DVD player, and me and V just
groan because we really don’t want to watch it. We all just sit around for a while staring at the TV, and about
25 minutes later the mushrooms start moving in, and I sortof get alittle
nauseous, which normally doesn’t happen to me.
All of a
sudden a bra comes flying out of the bedroom door and they start laughing. V
yells at them, "Ok this is war!" and takes her bra off and throws it
back in at them. Then me and V decide
to go take the bed from them, which didn't work all that well as we all 4 just
end up sharing the bed which is only barely big enough for 2. C is just laying
out in the livingroom watching the TV.
After about
an hour, the mushrooms have really started to take hold. C's phone starts ringing, and after a few
minutes we hear him in the other room saying "Are they hurt bad? Its at my house." He gets off the phone and starts putting his
shoes and jacket on. We're laying in
the bed asking him where he's going.
"I gotta help some people out." No one ever really takes anything C says seriously, so we were
kind of laughing. B asks "Are you
going to kill somebody?" C only
says "I'll see you later."
Now we start getting kinda weirded out and ask where he's going again.
"I'm walking to my house to get my truck and then I'm going to help some
people out." We live out in a
rural area, and C's house is probably 5 or 6 miles away from the camper we are
at. Its probably about 30-40F outside
so we try to tell him to stay here. He
won't listen, and he opens the door of
the camper. I'm trippin pretty hard and
really uneasy about the whole situation, so I get up and follow him out.
"Dude you're not seriously goin to walk all the way to
your house are you?"
"Yeah. They
need my help."
"Who needs your help?"
"Just some friends."
I give up
on trying to get him to stay, and he runs off down the road. Its probably around 2 o'clock at this
point. I go back in the camper and
climb back into the bed (it took me a while because it was pretty dark and I
got lost trying to climb across the other 3 people to lay down next to V). A few minutes later the guilt of letting C
go off on his own gets to me, and I decide to go try and catch up with him and
walk with him to his house. I call his cell, and he says he's already gotten
quite a ways away, and I'm trippin too hard to know where I am or how to get to
where he is, and my car is still at the camper and he tells me he's not going
back to the camper, so I go back inside and lay back down.
About 30
minutes later, C calls my phone and says that he called someone else to pick up
"Whitney" and they're taking her to "Bo's" house. None of the rest of us have any idea who
Whitney or Bo are, so we just kind of shrug it off. So C comes back into the camper a little while later and goes to
sleep on the couch. Everyone else is
falling asleep too, and since I know I won't be going to sleep any time soon, I
get off the bed and step outside to relieve myself.
On my way
back to the camper, I look up at the sky, and the beauty overwhelmed me. The stars were dancing all over the place,
the branches of the trees full of life.
I decided to sit down in a chair and just stare at the sky for a
while. It is very cold outside, and all
I am wearing is jeans, socks, and a corduroy hoodie, but I'm so amazed at the
moment to even realize how cold it really is.
As I'm staring up at the sky, I see a large plane pass overhead. As he passes, he leaves a large glowing pyramid
trail behind him, and as he proceeded across the sky, the pyramid trail grew
larger and larger and the sound of the trail grew louder and louder, sending
waves of energy blasting through my body.
After the
plane had gone, I realized how beautiful the world is, how much I loved
it. I began to think about how modern
civilization is destroying the earth. I
saw another plane flying across the sky, but this time instead of a beautiful
glowing pyramid trail, he had a trail like the body of an ugly black serpent. This made me even more disgusted at modern
"civilization", and I turned my gaze outwards towards the woods. I kept seeing stripes of glowing white light
dart from tree to tree, and I attributed this to the spirit of the
forests. I just watched in wonder as
this light continued to dart around, visible for only a fraction of a second
before hiding behind another tree.
I then
closed my eyes, and saw hundreds of green leaves turning around on my eyelids,
shifting into different shapes yet at the same time still leaves. I then opened my eyes and looked down at the
ground in front of me. The ground was
concrete, and it seemed like the concrete had been broken and lifted up, and
that a shadow was crawling out from beneath the concrete, reaching towards me,
trying to grab my leg and pull me under.
This did not scare me, it just yet again disgusted me, as I attributed
the broken concrete and the shadow as the evils of the modern world, as a
sickness of the earth, and I kicked at the shadow until it gave up and crawled
back under the concrete.
This is
when I decided to attempt to change the way I lived, to detach myself from
modern civilization and return to the natural world. I felt that I would be completely at peace if I could return to
nature. I began to think how wonderful
it would be to be a wild animal, with no government, no corporations, no
property, no religion, no wars. But
then I heard some squirrels chattering off in the distance, and I realized that
even animals fight, even animals have "territory", and that many
animals even have social structures such as in a pack of wolves. I then decided I would much rather be
myself, someone who could choose the way they lived rather than living on
instinct or under the influence of another person/group.
However, I
have made decisions similar to this in the past while tripping. Once I was coming down from an acid trip and
I decided that I was going to quit all drugs and become a christian. That only lasted for a week. So in order to prove to myself that I could
stay with decisions, and as a sort of symbol that I was going to stick with
this decision, I decided to sit outside until the sun came up. It was 3 A.M. at this point, and I was
starting to come down from my trip, and realizing just how cold it really
was. My feet were freezing because I
was not wearing any shoes, so I tucked one in my knee and the other under my
leg.
After what
seemed to be 2 hours of sitting in the cold, staring out into the woods, I
looked down at my watch. 3:45. I had only been sitting there for 45 minutes
(much longer than that, but only 45 minutes since I first decided to stay out
there). Another seemingly 2 hours
passed, and I looked down at my watch yet again, only to find that it was
4:30. I was shivering extremely hard,
my nose was running, my feet were so cold I could barely move my toes. I couldn't give up though, I had to do
this. I figured out that if I
consciously made myself stop shivering and focused only on not shivering, I did
not feel cold. This only worked in
about 1-2 minute intervals before I became cold again.
The
next hour did not seem as long as the past couple of hours, and next thing time
I looked at my watch it was 5:30. Still
dark though. I was kind of expecting
the sun to be on its way by now.
Finally by 6:15 the sun had started to rise, and I returned to the
camper. Everyone was still asleep, and
the camper was almost as cold as outside.
I did not go back to the bed because I didn't want to wake everyone
else. So I just sat in a chair, still pretty cold, until they had all woken
up. They asked me where I had been all
night and I told them I had been sitting outside in the cold to prove to myself
that I could. They thought that was
pretty weird, but I didn’t care. They
then got dressed and I took the two girls home and then drove myself home and
went to sleep in my warm bed.
