Hey folks. This weekend I learned some pretty big
lessons. I went solo hiking for three days in the blue ridge as a spiritual
retreat. I really wanted to be alone, and was planning on doing a potent
ayahausca brew on my last night.
When i finished the days' strenuous hike, i decided it
was too cold and my blood sugar probably too low to do the ayahuasca...i
*really* wanted to chow down! : )
I'm not sure if y'all have ever heard of the AMERICAN
CHESTNUT tree before. But I ate my food sitting on a huge American Chestnut log.
This is kinda special because Ameican Chestnut has been practically extinct for
about 170 years, due to logging and the european "blight". It's got
incredibly hard wood... harder than oak, and the logs i had been sitting on were
probably 500 year old trees that had been dead for at least 170 years and not a
bit of decay!! There were a few of these logs scattered about the ridgetop.
Anyway, instead of the ayahuasca i ended up adding a
moderate dose of mushrooms to my tomato soup, and settled down by the fire to
see what the mushrooms would have to say.
I got into it for a while, but there was this strange
fear that kept crawling up:
There was a kinda weird guy who i met earlier in the
day. He asked me some questions and knew i was camping alone. He didn't seem
particularly threatening, and i wasn't exactly paranoid...it's just that the
fact that i was so vulnerable kept entering my thougts and distracting me from
the trip.
Anyway...i was thinking what i was doing was stupid...if
i wanted to be alone, i should *really* be alone, and, what the hell do i really
need to be alone for anyway? Does alone mean "having no access to other
people at all? Is tripping with a sitter tripping alone?
Well, I decided that physical safety was the key...I
knew there was another group of campers on the ridge, so i went to hang out with
them at their fire. We had nice introductions...they were six men in their
twenties who all worked at a VA beach restaurant together. I happily accepted a
shot of southern comfort and a beer : )
After hanging our for a about an hour, some pretty
stange stuff started happening. Out of nowhere, three dogs showed up. They each
had florescent antenas on their collars. I thought, "hmmm cop dogs, or
hunting dogs?". They were making little howling, growling noises at us, but
they seemed like they wern't going to hurt us. Soon we heard they're owners near
by.
We all thought that it was weird that the owners didn't
show themselves, or say something like "don't worry, they won't bite!"
I bummed a cigarette...my first tobacco in 2 years...whew...that hit the spot!
When we noticed the the lurking bodies increased in
number (we noticed at least 4....), the guys, who were all alot more aggresive
than I, stood poised to fight...walking sticks in hand. They even decided to do
a little wood chooping with the big axe they had...i was pretty thankful for
this show of power, and even though it's not my way, I took my turn ferociously
swinging the axe! (i only build small fires, and would usually take to the
darkness of the woods in such a case). These guys were my brothers...they
comforted me from the fear i was having earlier and i felt devoted to stick by
them no matter what happened. These guys acted so differently than how i would
have acted, but i was still thankful. I was simultaneously dismayed and
astounded when they threw a beautiful American Chestnut log on the fire! It was
so appropriate somehow......
For awhile, we were all concerned about the strangers in
the night, but soon enough, the dogs left, and we assumed that the mysterious
owners were gone.
The rest of the night was really nice. I bonded in a
special way with each one of those guys! It turned out that they had eaten some
mushrooms the night before! None of them had much experience with entheogens,
and they were amazed that i had been tripping through that whole experience. We
all sat together and talked about philosopy, evolution, life and death. Everone
there agreed that FAITH is the most important thing : )
This was overall a good experience. It's really weird
though...this is the second time i have been threated *in real physical
consensus reality* while on mushrooms. Is it possible that somehow the one kind
of energy attracts the other?? The yin attracts the yang? The oppressed attracts
it's oppressor??
More interestingly this has happened on the only two
occasions i have ever tripped alone without a sitter or in a *completely* secure
environment. I have tripped literally hundreds of times. When i met the man
which my guardian angel inhabited down in North Carolina, he was sure the
dominator energy is much more likely to "go after" you if you are
alone and vulnerable. The woman who "saved" me also gave me the advice
not to be alone, and to stay in the light. I *could* believe the theory that
sometimes that fear overtakes me and i don't "let go" and allow my
"self" to die...i could, that is, if there wasn't such tagible
evidence that my physical body really could die...no...i will not let myself be
raped by the dominater...if my cunning and strength cannot save me...grace will.
So anyway, after everyone went to bed, i stayed up for
awhile making myself tea to keep my body warm....i had to get to go to the
spring alone to get water...i figured if i could do this without fear, i would
be able to sleep soon. I would wait till the old chestnut log burned down. It
was such an interesting tea ceremony as i came down from my trip...gave me a
whole new perspective on chopping wood and carrying water!
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