I recently cased some P.cubs with an ounce of weed. I have a friend who grows
weed in his closet just like I grow shrooms. We always trade even. The other
day, my wife told me that the weed had some mature casings on it. When I got
home from work, she cooked some hamberger and snuk 2 of the weed shroooms in it.
I was totally unaware that she did it. Her explaination for that was I was off
the next day and if I knew that I was eating one of my weed shrooms for the
first time, I would be looking for something differnt during the trip. SO! on
with the story.
An hour after
eating the hamburger, I took my dog MOE Jr for a piss and shit walk. I felt
kinda groggy and sat on the curb while MOE jr did all of his happy frantic
little doggie dances and fucked around in the grass sniffin shit.
I looked at the sky and thought boy it is a nice day. I
started to feel alitle sick. I stood up and looked at my dog and he was in mid
shit. I started to listen to everything and I finally heard my heart beating. I
then felt strange. I looked at a bent pepsi can on he ground and it started to
move like an inch worm. I snapped out of it and decided to take the dog in the
house. On the way up the stairs I felt disorented and sick. I tossed the dog
back in the kennel and plopped my ass back on the couch. My wife was all smiley
and shit and I couldnt put my finger on it. "How do you feel"? she
asked. Right then I got up and checked my casing. Yep, she got me I thought.
Then she got all mad and started yapping at me about having weed in the house. I
didnt have the cognition to argue so I shut up and tuned her out. I said 2 words
and she shut up. "bad trip"
I took the remaining ounce of weed back over to my friends house, (walking
distance) and told him to hold it for me. I was getting fucked up more as time
went by. I felt really slow-mo like and animated. I was serious and who are were
and why are we here feelin. My wife went to the store and I decided it was time
for me to try to drive (dont ever do that either) I jumped in the car and drove.
I saw many strange things and as I started to drive. I stopped by the pet store
and got a load of timothy hay for straw casing then drove to he mall to walk
around, I am kinda experiended with shrooms and was able to ward off the feeling
that everyone was looking at me and knew that I was sky high.
I felt so slow and that kinda made me angry. I walked around a few people
stopped and just stared at me. (I resemble Micheal Jordan ALOT) I get this all
the time and pushed on with my journey thru the mall. I went into a dept store
called Riches and I noticed that my sense of smell was heightened 3x. I smelled
so may things and my brain was able to focus on each individual smell. FUCKING
WEIRD!
I smelled perfume,
coffee, new clothes, hair salon shit, dust from a vacuum cleaner, jerri curl
activator, oily gears that ran the escalators, and other unidentifiable scents.
I went to the hair salon and sat in one of the beauty chairs. I knew I was doing
something wrong but I didnt really care at the moment. A over made up fat lady
with fake weave in her hair and extra long neon orange fingernails came to me
and asked me why I was here. I told her that I needed my bald head waxed, buffed
and spit-shined. She laughed and another lady came up to me and started to
flurt. I took one look at her and noticed that she was an old dried up hoe with
4 gold teeth and putty knife applied makeup. I decided it was time for me to
scram. I did a slow mo walk to the food court and got me a smoothie. I left the
mall and FUCKING forgot where I parked. I walked around for what seemed to be
eternity. I thought I found my car, but It was someone elses that looked just
like mine. It took me 5 min to realized that.
I almost
bent my key in the lock. I found my car and tried to drive back home. I was at a
stop light and a old white guy in a 98 jag with graying hair was looking at me.
"HEY MIKE" he said. I noticed that he had the BIGGEST chin I've ever
seen. I started to get really pissed of because I couldnt find the right button
to roll my window down to tell this old bastard off. I took another look at the
old guy and it was fucking JAY LENO!
No fucking joke!! I
even took a double look and assured myslef that the shrooms were NOT doing this
to me. Jay leno was yapping something at me! I rolled down my window to tell him
he had the wrong guy but the horns behind us started to beep becuse we were
holding up traffic. He told me to pull over at the gas station up ahead. We
talked for a while and he told me that I needed to do a better job disguising
myself. I guess he thought I was Really MIKE! People started to slow down to
stare and point. I get tired of that shit! I get it every day! I fucking HATE
IT! He asked me what I was going to do with all the free time that I had. In my
beshroomed stated, I replied: Well, I really dont know. He then asked me a bunch
of questions about the effects of the NBA lock out. What saved me was my wife
who called my cellphone. I answered and Jay must have figured that I was busy so
he decided to take off. "give me a buzz sometime" he said. Then he
took a look at my nissan altima, smirked, jumped in his jag and pealed. The wife
was VERY angry becuase I took off in a shroomed state. I told her what just
happened and she got MORE angry. I managed to get her charlie brown's teacher's
voice sounding ass off of the phone and pushed on towards my house. I stopped at
the supermarket to pick up some brown rice flour and I overheard two maneger's
having a whispering arguement about pulling up tiles in the supermarket during a
sale they were having. My hearing was hightened also I guess. I contiued to look
for the flour. They started really get loud (to me) so out of nowhere, I turned
around and said " why dont you just go out back and kick each other's asses
and the one left standing wins". I realized what I just said and felt
shitty. They both looked at me and were quiet. One of the maneger's started to
laugh. the other guy said, humm, I think I really can kick your ass Paul. Then
they both started to laff. I felt so releived. They appologiezd to me for being
in my way and even helped me get the brown rice flour I was looking for. I paid
for my shit using my atm card, I had a hard time punching in my PIN #. I decided
it was time for me to go home and sleep for a
looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong time.
THE FUCKING END.
PS. I couldnt feel any differnce from these shrooms from any others that
I have grown. I will be runing diags on these shrooms to see if any (thc) was
absourbed by the shrooms.....MOE HOWARD THE MAD SCIENTIST
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