This is about the trip I had some 9 months ago. Since that I have taken
entheogens just once because of
the scariness of the trip and I also needed to "clear my head". I don't
usually like to write trip reports because they take too much time and
I'm too lazy :/ , but I think this is something you might like to know.
This is something worse than you can imagine and something you (and I)
would never like to experience.
Substance: Dry Psilocybe Semilanceatas about 4.2g (maybe 6.5g of cubensis) that equals to approx. 95 mushrooms.
Also took one Anti-nausea pill of Cyclizine that might have something to do with a strength of the experience (???)
Set&Setting: I was in my apartment with my girl friend (she took 2.8 grams
with no cyclizine) and with one friend of mine who has to
leave for an 1.5 hours just when I was peaking :( It was in the middle of the day and it was light. We planned
to go to Magical Nature Center near my place, but I couldn't go anywhere.
Trip:
I made some mushroom tea and we shared it with my girl friend. I felt
little restless (scared ?) and I even thought if I am taking too much
(BIG MISTAKE!).
Very soon I started to feel the effect and somehow I got scared; I knew
everything would go wrong and I couldn't do anything with that thought.
Then I started to feel nausea that I feel every time I take shrooms and
because of the other problems it made me more disturbed. Later my friend
found out that at least some of the nausea was just psychological - I was
having a bucket on my lap becuse I thought I might throw up, then I forgot the
bucket but when he asked, am I feeling nausea I remembered that I was and
took the pucket again.
Soon everything started to move and colors were coming out from
everywhere and my room was moving and getting wider, lower, higher,
smaller and bigger and there was just too much going on. At that point I
was holding my girl friends hand and she wanted to go to bathroom but I
didn't let her go, because I needed to catch something from this world. I
didn't want to go where I was going and I knew that I couldn't do anything
and it made me very scared. I was also telling my friend how important he
was to me because instinctively I was trying to hold on something before going.
After a while everything started to look cold and my room which is
usually very comfortable started to look dark with white dirty walls - it
looked like old hospital room or jail or something. I needed to ask my
friend are my eyes open or not because I couldn't tell the difference. I
was talking continously without making any sense. At this point my friend
needed to go. His "goings" were not that important but somehow he didn't
understand that I REALLY needed a person that is not under influence and
would talk to me and try to calm me down. I'm still disapointed on him ... I
think if somebody promises to be a trip guide he/she should never ever
leave without a permission from all the trippers.
I hardly could walk anymore because I couldn't recognize my body and I
couldn't see much behind the hallucinations. Somehow I walked to the
living room and lied on the floor and my body was turned off...it was
sleeping. My girl friend though everything is fine because I looked
calm, I didn't talk all the time and I looked like I'd be sleeping.
... but my hell was just to begin ...
I couldn't handle all the information (= hallucinations and thought that
were coming from every where). All the time I was seeing these same
hallucination about our bus station, monopoly money, pinball game,
fractals etc. with other changing visions. I couldn't feel my body and I
couldn't open my eyes (I would make no difference though). I didn't really
fight against the experience at this point because I was so switched off
that I couldn't think anything ... I didn't have enought will-power to do
anything with my brain. Ones a while I saw these visions about the
mushrooms and they reminded me that I'm tripping but it didn't help me
because I didn't think I was going crazy ... I thought I was crazy and
there was nothing to do with it anymore. I had visions about doctors and
my friend around me that were talking that there is nothing to do with
me. They were talking that he will be like that forever. They were
talking like they didn't know I can hear them (normally doctor wouldn't
say "we can't do anything with you" while patient can hear).
Then I thought about killing myself but I couldn't move and then I
"realized" that my experience is FAR more powerful than dying and I
thought I wouldn't even know if I died. I was in this hell and though
I'll be here for eternity with this same mindblowing information. I was
totally, totally, TOTALLY sure that this will never ever end
... after 1.5h being in place that I think hell would be like my girl
friend tried to wake me up but I just opened my eyes and saw her for a
second and told her that "I will always love her what ever will happen"
and then I went back. She opened the porch door and because the winter
it was getting very cold inside and I figured out that I can feel
coldness. Soon I was back enough to walk but I was still tripping big
time and I though that I'll have to go through long psychoterapy
before getting normal, but I already believed I'll be normal some
day.
For hour or so I was just crying and telling that I'll never take
anything again, but I took back my words because I knew I will try
again some day.
After an hour my trip was almost over but the afterglow was very
strong and I felt very peaceful, calm, happy, lazy and helthy. We
went to eat some pizza and the rest of the trip was mild and very
nice.
I have had some psychological problems after that (not much anymore)
so I quit entheogens for a while but after 3 months I took 2C-B and
the trip was nice until I smoked pot (will tell you later about this
trip) and then it turned bad also but not even 1/100th of the shroom
trip. This might happen because I just broke up with my girlfriend
and I wasn't totally stable (we are together again though :) ).
It was pretty long but I hope it was interesting enough to read. All
the comment etc. would be really appreciated ... thank you for
"listening" !
