This trip I took 1g of dried ps. cub. but was in a bit of a hurry for some
reason. This was a big mistake as I found out. When the effects were coming
on, I lit some incense and watched the smoke. It occurred to me that intricate
curling and waving of the smoke was simple and yet way more involved than
all but very advanced math and physics. Soon, I felt drawn into the world
of the smoke and spent some time just absorbing the beauty of the patterns;
ripples, split wisps, undulations that curled back on themselves, and so
on. I wished I had taken a larger amount at that point.
Then I decided to sit quietly with eyes closed and enjoy the effects. I'm
not sure how long it was from when I simply felt happy and deeply content
to the start of some closed eye hallucinations. But I was then walking down
a peach colored corridor with some sort of soft, spongy floor. This hallway
curved always slightly to the right, and every so often there were archways,
like some sort of architectural support. But connected to the archways were
octopus-looking arms made of what seemed to be a mosaic of colored stones.
The arms kept gently furling and unfurling. I wondered why it was so interesting
when in the normal world I figured it would have scared me to be in a hallway
like this.
About then I realized I wasn't in just any hallway, but that this was a corridor
in my mind. And that I wasn't yet allowed into any of the rooms because that's
where the inner workings were. I needed to slowly work up to that and learn
the place better before I'd be allowed in the rooms. So I started "walking"
again, and it was beginning to bug me that the hall was always curving to
the right. At the same time, I was feeling sure a disembodied someone was
standing behind my right shoulder. I'd occasionally open my eyes and look
just to satisfy myself that it was part of the trip. But as I became more
annoyed that the hall curved in just one direction, I wondered if that meant
I was having a bad trip. Sure enough, this thought turned in on itself and
I was suddenly having my first (semi-)bad trip! If I were with a friend,
I'm sure a kind word would've stopped it, but I was alone.
I decided, "I've lost interest in this trip." It occurred to me that instead
of wasting a half day doing this I should be with my family. Time on earth
is precious and not to be wasted, which is just what I was doing. I put on
a cd to relax, but it seemed then that the music wasn't really good. The
musicians were just trying to make it _seem_ good. It made sense at the time!
I shut off the stereo and then housework seemed like a good idea. I tried
to wash dishes; after breaking some, I realized it wasn't a very good idea.
So, I put clothes from the washer into the dryer and started it. I'd guess
I then had to recheck three times whether or not I had done this because
I couldn't remember if I planned to put them in the dryer or had actually
done so. That's when I decided not to do laundry either. It came to my mind
that the dehumidifier in the basement had better be checked. And - this still
amazes me - it was stuck in the 'on' position. It took me a few minutes to
remember how to shut it off, which bugged me to no end (that I couldn't figure
it out).
All the confusion in trying to do ordinary things made me sure I had permanently
messed up my mind. I turned on the tv and a bricklayer was on Sesame Street.
I envied him because I thought, 'What a simple job, and he does it so well
and without any worry or doubt. I'll never be like that again.' I was absolutely
certain I had fried my brain. But I figured I'll make the best of it, and
switched on CNN to see how well I could comprehend things. A guy with a heavy
German accent was speaking. As I looked, I thought I noticed that his skin
was not fully attached to his skull. No sooner did I think it, then his skin
was flapping a good inch or so off his skull as he spoke. It scared me good!
But at another level I was relieved because I knew I was still tripping and
might not be permanently damaged after all.
I went to get a shower since I was pretty sweaty after all this, and in the
mirror saw myself standing naked. All at once it hit me that I'm just a hairy
ape on earth, absolutely no different from any other animal. Maybe dumber
because I only just realized it. In the shower, I washed my hair and was
grossed out again because I could feel my scalp sliding over my skull as
I washed it. I also wondered why I came "here" because it was so nice and
care-free "there." It made perfect sense to me then that the body wasn't
me, and that I was just on earth for a visit or school or something. I was
wondering when I'd be done, because I missed all the light. (No, I don't
know what I was thinking about! The thoughts seemed perfectly normal then.)
I was also amazed that people are content with artificial light that has
no life in it.
After the shower, I flipped to Cartoon Network, which was just what I needed
to lighten the mood. Then I went to VH-1. They have this filler video of
bubbles blurping and glurping up to the surface of the screen. Still tripping,
the bubbles seemed to be coming right out of the tv. I thought this was the
coolest thing. So, while it wasn't a trip to hell, it was a super high anxiety
trip that was a real downer at the time. I went to my parents for dinner
that night, and it hit me that the trip taught me some new things and I was
happy about it after all. Still, I couldn't bring myself to trip for a good
8 months afterwards. So, from ingestion to last effects, it was about 5 hours.
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