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Contact with the Clear Light

Torture, blood and a touch of enlightenment.




Here we go again with the trip-reports. This trip happened two days ago with a friend of mine, who I shall refer to as John. I'll try and remember as much as I can.

Preparation
John and I decided to trip on a day that would be meaningful if looking at Terence McKenna's TimeWave Zero-program. We wanted to trip during a novelty dip, to see if it made a difference. Saturday was such a dip.
So I took around forty grams of my mushrooms, and went to John's place. He had gotten a harvest on the same day.
We tried drying the mushrooms in the oven and even the microwave, and it worked to some extent, even though we were kind of worried about the mushrooms losing their potency.
We made some of the mushrooms into a fine powder (maybe around 3,5g per person) and mixed it with lemon juice concentrate. Then we started drinking the maoi and prepared the hookah with weed.
After an hour of waiting, we finally drank the lemon tech and started eating more mushrooms - around forty wet grams per person, perhaps. Maybe even more. It was hard to scale them since some of them were half dry.

Intention of the Trip
I had read the psychedelic experience-version of the Tibetan Book of the Dead a couple of days ago, and I wanted to test this out with the novelty dip-thing. John didn't have any specific intention for the trip.

Coming Up
Despite the lemon tech (and possibly because of the amount of liquid involved), the come-up was really slow. The noticeable effects started after an hour or so. After that the whole thing is kind of a blur, so I'll list some of the effects in no order whatsoever.

1. Personality Switches - At some point of the trip our personalities had changed completely, and kept changing every once in a while. It felt like we were "tuning in" to different personalities that were completely different from our own ones. I wonder if there is an explanation for this... could have something to do with the ego-dissolution.

2. Torture
I was meditating and believe it or not, the Tibetan Book of the Dead works! It described some of the hallucinations you're supposed to have on your path to enlightenment, and it was spot on. At some point I was witnessing erotic hallucinations of some sort, of weird female creatures trying to entice and seduce me. I paid no attention to them, but tried to look past them instead. That's when the mantis-creatures appeared once again. This time they looked more realistic, more colourful, they had more teeth and spikes and stuff like that. Then they started torturing me, burrowing into my skin and flesh. I could feel a burning sensation and there was quite a bit of pain - thankfully I was meditating, so I didn't really mind and tried to love the experience.

3. Emotion-goblins and trolls
Apparently the different creatures are somehow tied to emotions. When I would see something scary during my meditation, I would try and love it. This brought out the goblins - green little elven creatures that I have seen multiple times before. Some were blue trolls, some were snake-goddesses and the like. Very interesting hallucinations.

4. Mindgasms
At some point during the trip me and John were blasted by waves of this really peculiar, awesome feeling, which I have come to name "mindgasms". It was like an external source was pounding on us with pleasure, forcing us to grovel on the floor and scream out in enjoyment.

5. Waves
I just want to add this here. Why is it that the trip comes in waves? The come-up was pretty steady at first, but once the first peak started, it went out of control. We started coming down about four times during the trip, just to come up again with an entirely different and novel-seeming wave. Like a new trip altogether!

6. The Clear Light
I had a really hard time staying sane towards the actual end of the trip, possibly because I hadn't stayed in meditation for the whole trip, coming out of it every once in a while to socialize with John. Then I started meditating again, and was surrounded by horrifying visions of monsters and demons. I didn't feel scared, but instead tried to achieve as deep an ego-death as possible.
Then John woke me up. I had been "gone" for around twenty minutes. I looked around me and tried to discern what was going on. Every little trace of fear or anguish or anxiety had disappeared. Instead, there was this sense of serenity, calmness, and unspeakable joy. I actually tried shaking the feeling off to see if I could, but it persisted and I had the feeling that this was never going to fade. It felt brilliant. I have never been happier in my life. I even cried.

After this we started coming down for the last time. This would take us about three or four hours. The trip lasted eight to nine hours.

Towards the real end we both got horrible headaches, and I got so tired I couldn't stand up. We went outside for a cigarette, and all of a sudden a terrible nausea hit me, forcing me to go and vomit. I vomited blood. That got me quite nervous. The thing is, there was nothing physical that could have caused that - we hadn't eaten during the whole day. After the vomiting I felt a lot better, and have now come to think of it as negative karma leaving the body through the physical activity of puking. Perhaps this was the case, perhaps not.

In any case, I wrote this trip-report in order to bring to your attention the methods from the Tibetan Book of the Dead. I swear it works. This trip changed the way I perceive myself and the world - and I have tripped quite a lot. The next day I could still feel the calm happiness of just being. I still can, but it's slowly fading. Next time I'm going to spend the whole trip in meditation to get maximum illumination. Thank you for reading. ^^

http://www.leary.ru/download/leary/Timothy%20Leary%20-%20The%20Tibetan%20Book%20Of%20The%20Dead.pdf

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