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A night in the numb city

Chocolatte ribcages????



It was summer 2007 i was 16 and heading off to Amsterdam with a class from college.
We had only just checked in to the hostel and after being there for only about 2 hours we started getting the drinks in on happy hour, i remember my friend Lawrence saying "Lets go get some shrooms" i didnt even want to reply i just wanted a nice spliff and a coffee after all that booze but according to Lawrence there was a drugs shop opposite the hostel, so Me, Lawrence and two other guys (Matt and Josh) went in the shop and basically asked and recived a tray of Liberties, i cant remember how much we paid but we all bought a tray each and rushed back to our room in the hostel. I was extremely nervous about taking these strange and disgusting looking things mainly because none of us had never done them before. Then we did something that has proven a stupid thing to do on your first drug.....we all ate the wole tray...in under 3 minutes.

I started munching on mine and the godawfull things tasted disgusting and had a stingy chemical taste to them, and almost instantly effects started happening and i know what your thinking (they take around 20 - 40 mins to kick in) i checked the tray only to find to my horror they were dry soaked in Ecstasy!
But we all soon calmed down (just me) and just had general chat in our room, there was three double bunk beds in the room, on the one there was me on the top and Josh on the bottom, on the opposie bunk was Craig on the bottom and Matt on the top and the final bunk was Lawrence on the bottom and all his beer on the top.
After about 25 minutes of talking and having a nice spliff i felt all funny bad things were happening i decided to step out the room witch was full of bad vibes and have a cigrette with Craig and lawrence to calm myself down, after having the longest cigarette ever i stepped back in tothe room and struggled to get on the top bunk.

Thats when i looked at Craig and his face was tripping me out so i decided to shut my eyes, but when i did i just saw a huge array of coulers then something that looked like brown ribcages spinning closer and closer to my eyes then i shouted at the top of my lungs "CHOCOLATE RIBCAGES!" and the sound echoed and reverberated all around me (simerler to laughing gas but for way longer) then i snapped out and Craig and Josh were just staring and laughing at me. Then we all heard a girl crying down the hall which really freaked us out (exept for Craig, he didnt have any shrooms) so we went to see and one of the dickhead tutors from the collage came up to us and said "whats wrong with you guys your eyes look all wierd?" Josh walked back in to the room and matt was on the top bunk with and unlit cigarette in his mouth (he must have been like that for 10 minutes) so i was left to deal with the tutor, and he kept saying "Tom whats the problem? not something i have to report is it?" and i came ou with something that will stick with me for a long time, i replyed with "W.well i..i..i feel like two marshmellows one black one white being toasted over a witches face!" only just relizing what i said i also relized that alot of people were stood around listening, and i just hard a roar of laughter and that gave me major fear, so i rn back into out room and back on the bunk and shouted at Craig "JOSH IS DEAD MATTS DEAD LAWRENCE IS DEAD IM DEAD!!!" then i looked down to josh under my bunk and he looked guilty of something and i whispered to him "i think iv pissed myself i feel really damp down there man" he simply nodded with agreement on his face i knew he felt the same. I quickly looked to the corner of the room and saw thousands of little tiny black spiders emerging from the corner of the room.

Out of nowhere two girls called Nik and Amy came into our room and they was speaking to all of us i was way to intoxicated to even make sense of the words that were coming out of there mouth, but the next thing i know we were all stood outside and heading into the red light distric, i knew i wasnt ready for this nightmare that was approaching of going into an unfamiliar town, paronoia and dark thoughts were entering my mind, i turned to see bodys on the streets only to realize late that they were bin bags.

We where right next to the tram tracks in the city and in slow motion i saw a tram approaching and it looked llike it was going to smash into lawrence and out of nowhere Craig grabbed him and he was shouting at him (presumably telling him  to be carefull) but it sounded like he was barking at him, and i remember seeing Matt lying in the middle of the square causeing a scene and collapesing, i turned to look at a stopped tram and a bunch of kids were leaning out of the door pointing and laughing at me, then Amy grabbed me by the arm and said "come on lets get out of here you lot have caused some shit" we walked what seemed to be for a lifetime when we were approached by what looked like a black Johnny Depp handing out leaflets, what he said was really spoken slowley "Theres a pub crawl going on if you want to join" i could tell from his accent that he was American so we accepted his invite. We came to a club called pirates, this is a place were the drinks are as cheap as water, Lawrence came towards me and said "this place is giving me the fear man i dont like it" i remember replying with "the fear? are you living in the sixtys mate" we came out the pub in a big group and the leader said "ok all American groups follow first and keeps and dont shout to much cause this is still a nieghborhood and they respected that but then the leader said "ok now all the Brits" there was a huge chanting noise that just reminded me of the football holigans back home, and the American leader said "please keep it down" (im not saying the yanks dont know how to party because they were all tripping to i guess there just more respectfull) then for some reason the were playing Brewer and Shipleys - one toke over the line in the bar ad thats when i started majorly tripping out they had for some wierd reason open hert surgeory on the big TV and i had already lost track of the rest of  the gang i was stuck in the middle of Amsterdam tripping.

I quickly got out of there and managed to find my way back to the hostel where i met with lawrence and said "MATE WHAT THE FUCK WHERE WERE YOU MAN!" he said "do you wanna go to Mcdonalds?" and thats where we ended up. the Maccy Ds was all run down like eating in an abandoned warehouse with big flouresant lights and pictures of that horrid clown everywhere, i was sweating like mad and said "we have to get out of here man before the cactus gets here" everything (including speech) was a haze of everythihg that was wrong with that night.
Lawrence only said "ok lets go" he walked out the MDs with a tray of food and my vision was bending slightly i was looking at Lawrence carrying a tray of food up the street then he dropped his milkshake in very slow motion and screaming "N..Hoooooooooooo" then a pimp walked past and giggled at him.

We finally got back to the hostel again and some clever idiot decided to put on the band Tool, the music was way to much so i went to the bathroom and felt trapped in there and ran scolding hot water over my hands and it felt amazing, thats when the walls started closing in, i was screaming like a girl and Lawrence bashed the door in and went "Fucking hell i thought you have smashed your head open or something" i said "dont give me those mental images man please"

In our room about 10 minutes later this group of Americans came in and said "hey man whats going on in here" we were toking weed and the americans calmed me down with there trip storys and they shared what must of been a quart of weed. Me and one of the yanks (cant remember his name) were having a nice chat and a smoke and for some reason i thought he was hitting on me and i came out with "look man im 16 and your like 22 and i dont swing that way" it felt so awkward and he replyed with "Dude im not gay dont worry" then Josh waltzed in and looked really tall and stretchy like plastocine and thats when i passed out.

Hope you enjoyed reading of my misfortunes in Amsterdam =]

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