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The Hawk's Eye
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First Real Acid Trip

awe inspiring. enuff said



I have taken acid and shrooms before, but before yesterday, I never had a real TRIP - like with the obvious visuals and whatnot. I got some acid blotter yesterday from this Mexican guy and the blotter art was SHIVA! im Hindu so that was def worth pointing out. I wanted to trip alone becuase I have read so much about Ego Death and how having an introverted trip is good to find shit out about urself and whatever whatever, yk. So I dropped 2 hits on a tuesday night around 10 o clock, and rose FAST at around 10:45. everything started becoming brighter and i swear my body was consumed by this maniacal energy it was like having hot flashes in India on a hot summer day, i just lost control and slumped out of my chair and i dont know if i blacked out for a second, but i found ymself face down on my shag carpet. I will never forget what i saw: the fibres of the carpet looked like worms: disgusting vile scum - the absolute worst thing i have ever seen in life or in my minds eye! funnily enough i was so surprised by this visual that i wasnt creeped out at all. i watched the worms turn into minuture dinosoars - they were grazing bronchtasoares (the big herbivores w long necks).  I realized that i could control what i saw by what i was thinking - i contemplated lifes meaning and saw the fibres turn into microbes: suddenly i was staring at the origin of life, you know when it really didnt matter what each thing was doing. I thought of all the fun i had been having over the course of my senior year and  suddenly i was watching minuture dancing guys and gals, i decided to have some fun and with a little will power i brought the dinosoars back and they coexisted peacefully for quite a while. it was weird, i couldnt make the dinos eat or attack the men, no matter how hard i tried but w/e. the carpet was great but when i  looked at the wall i was stuck in another 20 minutes of staring at the patterns and how the wall actually looked like a viel. I couldnt get that out of my head - that it was a viel and if only i could push past that shit i'd see what was really behind it, becuase i could only see a blur of what was on the otherside...idk.
I then walked into my bathroom and looked at my reflection. i was REAL scared of what i'd see b/c iv heard tht self esteem is very important to not freaking out w mirrors. I stared at myself - enraptured! haha im not even kidding it was humbling yet enlightening: i was walking around in a self-loathing rut and i was stuck in the past. when i was in middle school i had glasses, braces, sun burnt skin (which means i looked black - like Nigerian black) and i was a complete fattass. In high school, I had a complete..."makeover (?)" n cleaned myself up. I realized that looking in the mirror that i was killing my Ego by having the middle school me as the only image in my minds eye. It was like i could see myself changing between the two states, and upon reflection realized what i was doing to myself. that in itself made the trip for me. but it didnt just stop there.

I walked into my room n found my bed to be like a water bed that had a wave pool in it, if that makes sense. I  lay down n just let my thoughts wander - I had the most craziest dream sequences like i was jerry seinfeld and i was doing these bits using the words "yogi mat", "Goof" and how crossing your fingers when saying "me and him r like this". it be too hard to explain everyhinng, but i basically mocked myself for wanting to be "popular" w the Goof bit, I imagined myself as the stereotypical jock who walked around introducing myself as "whatsup my names Goof". all the girls fawned over me like "hes soo Goofy!" , all my friends wud constantly give me high fives n shit like "hey man we Goofin it up today?", "duuude its the Goof-miester", random shit like that. The point of the story was dully noted. but it still made me laugh. i had a bunch more dream sequences - mostly amazing mind loops where i would catch myself "on camera" and then enter lucid dreaming for a bit. I'd fall out of it cuz shit wud get ridiculus n i just couldnt keep up, but id always be able to catch myself in the dream state again. There was this one memorable moment when i was looking through the hubble telescope and i realized that some1 was looking at me through a telescope, and then i realized that THAT guy was being watched, but that THAT guy was also being watched, and so on until i finally got to one guy looking through the telescope who saw me from a different angle (all the people watching eachother were me), this guy was different becuz it wasnt me, in fact i turned my eyes upward and it was like a glass dome over where my consciousnesses would be ( i was in a first person shooter view of my Ego, if that makes sense) and i saw this hand cloud over the dome and poke at it - he grasped it and then actually shook it and it was like i was in a earthquake.  I spent the next 3 hours like this, my mind in a constant frenzy, i swear i got up for school and my body weighed a pound lighter cuz i had sweated out something disgusting . i walked into school feeling fucking AMAZING like i cud do no wrong with a dont give a fuck attitude.

Without a doubt my trip was sooo worth it, i didnt even feel tired from lack of sleep, in fact i think im functioning at a higher level (knock on wood). I plan on dropping again soon, this time to achieve a real Ego Death. i never actually broke away from reality until i closed my eyes and im dying to see God's illusion hold up against the power of Acid, straight up.

Gaiana.nl
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