So SWIM would still consider himself a newbie in the realm of
psychedelics/hallucinogens. SWIM has tripped on shrooms about 7 or 8
times and besides that has only tried salvia. SWIM has a love/hate
relationship with shrooms. The first time he tripped, SWIM felt like he
was in another world and was paranoid about being nauseous so didn't
move from the same spot for about 2 hours (SWIM was tripping in a
cemetery at night with a friend). Once SWIM finally got up and moved
around, it was like he was taking his first steps in this new world and
SWIM was fascinated. Since then, SWIM has tripped maybe 7 or 8 times in
varying settings (cemeteries, festivals, indoors) and almost always by
himself, which he finds much more rewarding. In fact, every time SWIM
trips with a group of people, he finds himself hating being around them
and just wanting to be by himself.
Having discussed shrooms with a friend who used to trip a lot, he was
saying that SWIM should take a large dose if SWIM really wanted to know
what they were about. Previously, the most SWIM had taken was an
eighth, which on a couple occasions had seemed like way too much (SWIM
is thinking of a particularly bad experience tripping on shrooms at a
festival by himself and getting lost in the muddy backroads filled with
portable toilets and sketchy people fighting). In all these
experiences, SWIM had never really hallucinated. Objects were distorted
and SWIM had lots of CEVs, but nothing he would consider a
hallucination so SWIM was anxious to experience that.
Around 10pm a few months ago SWIM ate 10g of dried shrooms and went
outside to smoke some headies and calm his nerves and any pre-trip
anxiousness. After even just 10-15 minutes, SWIM could feel it coming
on. The heated face, the levity, wood grains distorting, and the
heightened auditory senses. SWIM finished smoking the bowl, had a
cigarette and went back inside and retreated to his room to listen to
some music.
As SWIM was listening to some music, he noticed the usual distortions
he had experienced before, but as he looked down on the carpet he saw
what appeared to be giant playing cards rotating/floating around and on
each card was a man in a basketball jersey holding his baby, also
wearing a basketball jersey. Rows and rows of these cards with the same
man and his baby, rotating on the rug crashing into each other and
bouncing off. At one point, SWIM was also seeing messages written on
the rug, but couldn't make out what they said. As SWIM would look
closer, they would change.
After staring at the carpet for maybe 5 minutes, SWIM looked back up at
his computer desk and noticed the wood grains, and the best way to
describe it is that it was "breathing". The wood grains were flexing,
pulsing, floating around and SWIM saw babies' faces morphing into
clenched fists and skulls. Trying to ignore these hallucinations for a
few minutes and just listen to music proved difficult as SWIM became
entranced with one of Jimi Hendrix's album covers on his iTunes (Axis:
Bold as Love) and saw little girls heads morphing into a cobra and was
telling himself not to stare into it, but couldn't turn away. Finally
looking away from the computer screen, SWIM saw a framed picture in his
hallway of his family, but saw a reflection of this grotesque half
man/half python creature with a giant mouth opening wide, engulfing the
photo.
Around this time, SWIM started to notice some vivid auditory
hallucinations. SWIM had his AC unit running and could hear all
different types of sounds just listening to the whir of the AC.
Lawnmowers starting, people laughing and talking, etc. At one point,
SWIM thought he heard people talking downstairs and walked into the
hallway to listen. After that SWIM remembers walking back into his room
and deciding to lie down and listen to music as he was tripping really
hard and was having trouble standing. Having silverfish in his mind as
this was the summer time and spiders and silverfish weren't uncommon,
SWIM began to see silverfish everywhere, all over the ceiling, just
rows and rows of them. Looking at his arms, SWIM started to see them up
and down his arms.
Being somewhat freaked out by that and the auditory hallucinations,
SWIM decided to just lie down, close his eyes, and listen to music. At
this point SWIM isn't sure if he actually fell asleep for like a half
hour, but he remembers vivid images of being in hell, sitting across
from the devil. SWIM woke up still tripping very hard and struggling to
make sense of it all. For SWIM, a lot of shroom trips feel like near
death experiences. This time SWIM kept asking himself what the point of
life was and whether it was worth living, and couldn't come up with an
answer, just kept obsessing over this and finally having to literally
talk to himself to get out of that loop.
This whole time SWIM was still listening to music, but couldn't make
sense of any of the words. In his mind, it all sounded like nonsense,
in fact every time he heard a word, he would think of a completely
different word and would go off rattling arbitrary words as the music
played which he found really amusing. SWIM felt like he had gone
completely mad, but was starting to enjoy it. SWIM remembers finally
realizing that all of his fears were pointless, whether it was a fear
of death, silverfish on the wall, the unknown, etc. SWIM remembers
feeling like he was on the verge of understanding everything about the
universe. SWIM wasn't dying or in hell. SWIM was being liberated. SWIM
was free to do whatever he wanted. Nothing mattered.
SWIM got up and walked around the house, saw his cat in the other room
from a distance and the first image he saw was the cat's body
disassembled on the floor but as SWIM approached the cat's shape
continued to change, even as he was petting him. SWIM probably tripped
pretty hard for another hour or so, but after that he was starting to
come down and the trip was not nearly as interesting anymore. SWIM
doesn't really remember what he did at that point. SWIM thinks he just
passed out listening to music.
Even though this trip was quite difficult and SWIM experienced an
uncomfortable body load for the first couple hours, he highly
recommends experimenting with higher doses as long as you are
comfortable with the setting. For SWIM, that was being alone and in his
house, but that may be completely different for you.
Since that trip, SWIM has only tripped once on 4g with the same shrooms
and it was not nearly the same. SWIM experienced similar hallucinations
with wood grains, the carpet, the lawn outside, but it was not nearly
as intense. SWIM also stupidly ate 2g at first then 2g an hour and a
half in and never really felt the 2nd dose kicking in so started
drinking beer and that was pretty much the end of that trip.
