this was my
third time taking mushrooms. the first two times i didnt take enough
and only had enhancement of color and slight visual distortion, level 1?
dose: 1/8th oz species: unknown
backstory:
my parents owned a motel at the time. had a close friend who was in
tough times and was staying in one of our rooms, free of charge. one night we
decided to take some mushrooms.
took 1/16th oz, didnt feel much
30min later. being impatient since my friend was already beginning to
trip, i took the rest. another 30 minutes into it i looked at the
pillow on my lap, which was covered in a flowered pattern, what i saw
was an amazing moving display of patterns and colors. looked at the
wall in front of me, which was about 7 feet away, i could see it at its
actual distance, but it was also inches in front of me. after about 20
minutes of laughing with my friends and talking about the entities that
joined him on his bed, which he saw and i only had a sense of there
presence. soon i began having a worried feeling inside, a feeling that
i had to be home. so i told my friend i must leave and walked out the
door. my mind came back to reality and i realized that i cant go home,
i have to stay, so i walked back to the door, reached for the handle,
stopped for a second and started walking back home. i did this 3 or 4
times before making myself go home. it was dark outside, i remember
looking at the sky and the trees and it was just amazing. i finally
make it home, and into my bed.
--period of not remembering much--
all
of a sudden i was alone inside a hut in a small village, i was looking
at myself laying in the middle, but i could also see what was going on
outside, which was not much, just dirt and empty space, other than my
hut. i remember being given a question, the question wasnt put into
words, but it was in my head. the question, as best as i can describe
it was, "what is everything, and where does it begin?" this is were my
trip became bad. i was focusing on this question and for the life of
me, i was unable to figure it out. this inability to answer this
question was driving me literally insane. i was having a hard time with
my trip and was trying to fight it, trying to return to "normal," which
made it worse. i decided to call my friend, but i new he was in a world of his own, and
i needed contact with what most call reality. i decided to call an old
friend of mine, a retired cop. he was very experienced with the drug
and he tried to calm me down, which helped a little bit, till he hung
up and i began having a bad trip again. called him again soon after, i
could tell he was kinda annoyed by me, so i let him go. stayed in bed,
just trying to grasp onto reality, wanting soo badly to just fall
asleep but unable to. all of a sudden, i felt sick to my stomach, i ran
to the bathroom and puked everything in my stomach. i remember looking
in the toilet and it was changing color, quite beautiful, even though
it was vomit. after 10 minutes of hurling, i returned to bed, and as if
a spell was removed from me, i returned to where i came from. still
feeling the after effects, but no longer hallucinating.
the
next day i could not remember much of the peak of my trip, and told
myself i would never take mushrooms again for i had a horrible and
scary trip. for the next few months, i would occasionally get a
"flashback" to my trip, and could remember small parts of what i
experienced. once i put the puzzled pieces together, i realized i was
stuck with the question "what is everything, and where does it begin?" this question almost
haunted me for quite some time, until one of my "flashbacks" made me
realize the answer.
the answer is everything is everything.
everything is one. and there is no reason to answer the question i
tried so hard to answer, because its impossible to reach the end, or
beginning, of everything.
now before this i considered myself
agnostic, and before that atheist. though my whole life i was very
interested in religion. soon after my trip i gained an interest in
buddhism. well not specifically buddhism, but the whole concept behind
the idea, which seemed to fit perfectly with my mushroom experience. you know, the whole singularity thing.
all
this happend about 6-9 months ago, and i feel i have grown more
spiritually and mentally and have felt i am ready for another trip. so
ill be taking some Panaeolus Cyanescens which i had found yesterday and
today.
