I am a poor writer so forgive me,
this will not be the most well thought out or clearly written report ever. This
is a trip report of my first experience with shrooms. In my part of New Jersey
any drugs are hard to come by even weed, so when shrooms came around I jumped
on an eighth of potent, yet highly overpriced caps and stems. All summer I had
been trying to find them and when I did it could not have been at a worse time.
I had picked up the shrooms the week before I went to college, a week my mom
had conveniently taken off, thus occupying the house virtually all day. With no
ideal setting available anytime soon I was just going to have to make due.
I
decided I could pull of an evening/night trip with my parents at home and my
little sister as my trip sitter as irregularities in my house go
uninvestigated. Immediately after dinner (7:30) I went on a walk with my sister
though a housing development and the golf course that borders it as I ingested
2.7 grams if shrooms with a glass of orange juice I had brought along. After
about 30 minutes I felt a moderate body high and a feeling only describable as
different as we returned to the housing development. Being that no distinct
shrooms effects had set in I decided to consume the remaining .8 grams at 8:00.
By 8:15 I am back at home sitting on my computer, fuming mad that this 8th
had yielded a body high/head buzz at best. I decided to call my friend who sold
them to me to complain, he remarked back in what sounded like utter nonsense as
my body high escalated to borderline immobile, but I remember him saying to go
take a walk down the street. I took his advice.
It was
difficult convincing my sister to let me go out and walk around alone, as I had
briefed her on trip sitting 101 prior to dosing. I was completely level headed
and clear in thought as I finally left my house, though my body high had
escalated to barely being able to walk. I staggered out the front door past my
parents and set out towards the housing development. It is necessary to explain
here that my house is not part of the housing development but merely adjacent
to it and that my front yard is an acre of land encapsulated by trees. I never
quite made it to the development anyway.
I
staggered down my driveway and across my lawn but was almost completely unable
to move so I collapsed in the grass on a hill in my yard. With Ratatat on full
blast on my ipod with my eyes completely open the wispy clouds of the still
illuminated sky came together to form the face of an older man with a full
white beard. This was my first visual at all and I was taken completely off
guard. A quick glance left and right then skyward confirmed what I had thought,
my trip had begun! When I looked skywards again the clouds had readopted their
original places but almost immediately retook their positions serving as the
face of the sky. The sky began speaking and as it did, rainbow colored diamonds
flowed from its mouth. The sky asked who I was and what I was seeking but being
such a vivid first visual I kept erasing the face by looking left and right at
the grass and trees which were now breathing in unison with me. The face would
continually reappear, but it grew impatient with me as I could not properly
converse with it, so it vanished right in front of my eyes. But before it
disappeared it told me to ‘come back when I was ready’. I had regained some
movement and recalled that walk I was supposed to take, so I got up and scaled
the wall down into the housing development.
To the symphonic sounds of Ratatat
I began my walk as best I could. Overtaken by pure euphoria I distinctly
remember a smile across my face for the duration. Anyway, I started to take in
the sharpness of objects under the streetlights. At first I noticed different
colors, trees that’s should usually be a healthy green were toned pale green
almost yellow, cluttered in leaves that were perfectly detailed and defined
almost like an improved version of HDR. The trees were breathing in their own
encapsulated space, almost frozen, a pillar through time. I began to walk down
the pulsating street which descended and turned up ahead, all of a sudden the
street swayed and twisted in my vision. This was one of the times when a trip
sitter would be handy; I caught myself walking in the middle of the street and
moved to the sidewalk immediately. I continued down the hill where out of
people’s front lawns rose armed skeletal warriors. These didn’t strike any fear
in me and one by one I made them disappear. Trees continued to amuse me as I approached
the next streetlight.
The intensity of my visuals was
heightening and I thought it wise to cut my walk of solidarity a little short.
I headed down a darker street and saw what I thought were bodies hanging from
trees, though again these didn’t instill any fear at all. I also saw parts of
houses swirling and slightly melting, concrete sidewalks rippling, and a row of
coniferous trees spread their branches and leaves to form evil smiley faces at
me. I walked back to my lawn excited for another chance to speak with the sky,
but he never reappeared. As I got up I had a vivid hallucination of a goblin
type creature as a bush in my yard and evaluated that now would be the best
time to go back inside, and to my sister. I strolled in past my parents who tried
unsuccessfully to snare me in conversation.
I collapsed in a heap on my couch,
greeted by my sister who wasn’t exactly of how hard I was tripping. I enclosed
myself in a silky blanket and closed my eyes. The jams of Bob Marley
accompanied me through this part of my journey now, the insides of my eyes lit
up and words cannot quite describe everything I saw, but I do recall seeing a
spectrum of color accompanied by the music pulsing through my body. From song
to song lyrics changed my visuals. ‘Lively Up Yourself’ was a shifting sea of
color I was carried on. ‘Is This Love’ evoked my girlfriend, nude, swirling in
color, accompanied by the strongest desire to be with her forever. ‘Jammin’
literally took me to the Caribbean, on the beach, where the sky morphed in to a
jeweled golden mass that swept me through it still pulsing with music. What was
probably the most life changing part of the trip was listening to ‘No Woman No
Cry’, as I bounced merrily through space and time; I was brought back to
reality with a thud. I realized how much of a dickhead I have always been to my
sister. All she ever wanted to be accepted, maybe recognized by me and I never
let her have that. She was always so kind to me and I was just condescending
and rude to her. I wanted to cry. I was 18 and still a complete asshole to her,
how could I call myself a man. From that point forward I decided I would be a
better brother to her. I took off my headphones, sat up, and watched the last
scene of Harold and Kumar with her. I put in Zoolander and sat back on the
couch.
I lost all sense of time for the
rest of the night. Over the rest of my trip I did a multitude of things. In a
room that had now started breathing on me, I tried to resume playing music but
as I started trying to turn audible clicking off I got lost in it, able to see
inside of the computer as if looking into it through a little window. After a
good amount of time I finally fixed it. By the time I had fixed it though I
didn’t even want music, I wanted to go back out into nature, but I couldn’t go
out again and I felt obligated (not in a bad way at all) to stay with my
sister, even though I was tripping. As I laid down my ipod my tunnel vision
focused on the blanket I was wrapped in the silk threads were moving like a
colony of ants producing more threads as they moved to keep the blanket new and
unworn forever. I was broken out of this trance by my sister nudging me, this
angered me a lot but I listened intently. She tried to show me a you tube
video, but the screen was mostly colored blobs. I continued to semi-watch
Zoolander as my room, with my eyes completely open, started to morph and take
me out of the world I was in, I don’t recall the specifics of these trips out
of time, except the vivid recollections of some memories I had forgotten. After
‘awaking’ from a few of these I just wanted things to cease for a bit (pretty
dumb right?). So I asked my sister to just talk to me and keep me with it. We
talked mostly about the .1 grams of weed she smoked with friends that made her
hallucinate, but I kept drifting off. My visuals were different now I couldn’t
see things, objects now has dark greens and purple blobs covering them, this
made talking to my sister a little difficult as her face was obscured a bit
My Mind was racing at one thousand
miles per hour. I was enlightened and I saw the world clearly but couldn’t
verbalize it, let alone stop to think about my thoughts. I needed to verbalize
some of these things to my sister, I HAD to tell her, but I couldn’t, I was
trapped in a useless body, one that could only complete about half a sentence
before being sucked off into space, time, and thought. I closed my eyes
frustrated, but I noticed something, I could see! I could see everything! I
could see the movie progressing, my sister moving, the floor, couch, my body
even all with my eye lids closed, I checked with my hands and my eyes were in
fact shut. The only alteration about this was that everything I saw was covered
in a green and black moving grid. Eventually I tried to talk to my sister or
rather reattempt to keep her talking to me. However she was more interested in
observing me and piecing together my broken English than helping me fight the
uphill battle of staying connected with reality, something I shouldn’t have
tried to do in hindsight.
This is where things began to go
south. My parents in the other room were up much later than normal and I just
wanted them to go to sleep so I could explore the house. But until then I had
to remain vigilant and produce and adequate ‘goodnight’ when they finally did
go off to bed. Time as it had been for a while was moving too slow. I found
myself requesting the time every three minutes or so. The problem was those
three minutes felt more like twenty to thirty minutes each time. I longed for
my parents to retire to bed, to be safe, to be sober, and to live a better
life. I told my sister to turn on the lights and she got me some water. My
thoughts were slowing down but I still had good visuals and persisted to drift
off.
Zoolander had finished and I was
well into Juno when my parents finally went to sleep. I had to speak to my mom
though. It was one of the scariest things I had to do, she was talking and I
did not understand a word she was saying and she face was covered in color, all
the while sitting up straight was almost impossible. My sister was convinced I
pulled it off though I was convinced my mom thought I was high or just
retarded. In either case my sister and I moved camp to the living room where I
got some sour cream and onion chips, water, and blueberries; she watched some
discovery channel for a bit while I was off in my own world. After about an
episode she indicated she was tired and wanted to go to sleep, I knew this was
a bad idea but in my quest to be a better sibling I Let her go to sleep,
besides my body felt exhausted.
What I didn’t realize was that my
mind was still racing. I lay in bed unable to speak longing for sobriety and to
be safe. I started to feel nauseous with my visuals now only as black splotches
strewn everywhere and patterns still easily discernable from walls, carpets,
and shades. I feared my nausea was a sign I would die from being sold a
poisonous strain. I ran to the bathroom and took off all my clothes sans shorts
and sat in a fully lit bathroom for what seemed like twenty minutes before
mustering up the courage to face my room. I lay in bed with the door open and
lights on convinced these mid and visual alterations would never cease. I felt
sadness like I never had before, I felt my parents die, and crossed the
threshold where suicide sounded like an excellent option. It seemed too easy
and painless to slice my wrists and just have this nonsense night end now, but
I would like to think of myself as a strong minded individual and within
minutes dismissed all of those thoughts from my head. I drifted into a
dreamless sleep that night. I awoke early the next morning my body drained and
I didn’t speak much for the next two days either.
My first venture with shrooms is
one I would deem successful. Since ingestion I can say I have been a much
better person to my sister, deepened my relationship with my girlfriend, and
figured out my trip almost entirely. It has been almost a month since I tripped
and I feel the urge to explore my mental realm again even though I promised
myself a six month break at least. Next time I want to trip with my girlfriend,
and on a much smaller dose, as I think an eighth was a bit more than I
expected. For now though I’m going to take what I have learned and focus on
college and my girlfriend. Thanks for reading, I hope it wasn’t too
excruciating.
